Before reading anyone else's posts, I want to answer these. So if what I say has been already said, I apologize.
I read about zen for years and years before I actually started doing the practice. I didn't even know that practice was central to it. I know it's odd, but I was introduced to Zen by way of what I read when I was practicing martial arts. So it was superficial zen with an end of being more proficient in martial arts; eventually it became a path to become more proficient at my job. In any event, a couple of years back I was reading The Power of Now. There were zen quotes in it, and for some reason it piqued my interest and I read a book by Daido Roshi. I eventually read book about sitting practice (although counting the breaths was the focus), and when I came here Zazen was all about Shikantaza, and it really felt right.
I'm sorry for the life story. lol The point is that I read about zen a lot. It was exciting, like a new toy or piece of candy. I think it's natural; if we aren't drawn to it, then we won't start the search, the practice. But as practice becomes more ingrained it isn't like that. I'm passionate about it, but it's in a deeper sense. Saying the meal gatha or practice isn't done because it's esoteric or cool; it's done as a true expression of gratitude for my life.
When I started practice I wondered what would a zen buddhist do? Now I don't think like that. We are human beings, not Buddhists. In some sense we are Buddhists, but I don't like holding so tightly to it. Identifying with Buddhism is another way of trying to exert our ego's idea of a separate, independent self. Sewing the Rakusu, the Kesa is not sewing for ourselves. It is sewing for all beings. We practice for to save all beings. I say that vow every time after zazen to remind "myself" that this practice isn't about "myself". Every aspect of practice is like this I'm finding. I'm thankful for Treeleaf, the sangha and the teachers for sharing these valuable lessons.
So for me in the beginning (not that I'm advanced by any means) when I was in the beginning, beginning I couldn't get enough of "zen". The stench, not the real deal. I was grasping for Zen wisdom to fix what was wrong with me. I was reaching out, grasping the ten thousand things.... not letting the ten thousand things express me.
How to not fall,is to come back again and again. I see the grasping, instead of grasping to stop grasping, just watch it. Expectations leads to grasping, controlling an outcome, which is impossible. We give ourselves to what do wholeheartedly, as we do our sitting, and thats all we can do. Let what comes, come... And practice when whatever comes comes so that we aren't so devastated when things don't "work out".
I like the question about shopping; because I like shopping
I love electronics, video games, books. It can become a collector's addiction. So shopping is a great practice ground. I sense the arising desire and the disappointment. But practicing and watching that grasping mind really really is freeing.
Living the uncomplicated... I'm just practicing and trying to figure it out
Gassho,
Risho