I have recently received what I jokingly refer to as a "karmic kick in the butt", awhile back I was mugged and had pneumonia. Well I got an x-ray a couple weeks ago to see if I was on the mend and I I was told there were some abnormalities on the stomach and pre-aortic sack. So I did testing and it turns out I have stomach cancer and cancer on the pre-aortic sack. I have been processing this and getting second opinions and doing all the fun medical stuff when a week from last friday my vespa was stolen.So I kinda felt like the cosmoses kicking boy and to top it all off certain muslims and christians in my family said it was God punishing me and if I was a good buddhist why didn't Buddha protect me from my bad karma. Now their understanding of Buddhism and their own religions as well as compassion in general is shoddy it still hurt to hear them say those erroneous statements. So I have been spending my time dealing with the shock and depression that has come with these events. I first started to think about karma and realized that I first was not going to approach the situation from a karmic perspective because it has no bearing on my improving my health or getting my scooter back and also karma is all about perspective. If I was to deal with this in karmic terms I could see both the good and bad in it. If I approach the situation through buddhism and see it through the eyes of a boddhisatva cancer and dealing with the treatment will give me a chance for serious practice (reflecting on impermanence, metta, ect..) it will also give me a chance to be able empathize with others going through the treatment. Changing my perspective really allowed me to overcome my depression. Now even though I do see the positive I still have bouts of depression which is healthy and I am feeling a little of it now but I am righting this post not only to share with you my experience but also to remind myself of those positive. One the most difficult thing in dealing with this is all the complications medical bill and treatment effects, being positive but also honestly assessing the situation. I decide not to write about this on the forum until I had good handle on all four of the above complications. In regards to the treatment if anyone has any experience they want to share that helped them be it a way of thinking meditation or medication please contribute to this post it will be most appreciated. So as I stated before I have those people who were negative and on the other end of the spectrum I have those have been very sympathetic and some overly compassionate (If I didn't have scruples I could have received a new Mac). Others have been avoiding me I think because I am a walking reminder of human mortality. Now the scooter was icing on the cake. I at first wasn't honest and tried to tell myself "who cares everything's impermanent you can't take it with you".Through deep thought and meditation I realized that though I did need to let it go and not be attached to it I could still miss the scooter and I need to acknowledge my anger at the thieves and the hurt of loss before I could move on. The scooter was found this weekend but it was damaged but now I am waiting to see if it is repairable. These situations have in some way been blessings in disguise and I have grown from them. I know I have not completely come to terms with my medical problems and still have anger at the thieved and I don't know if I ever will completely be able to. What I do know is that zazen and the Buddha's teachings are integral to my positive outlook and coping mechanisms.Oh one last thing the most annoying thing is every one is asking if I am going to get my medical marijuana card and will I hook them up with free pot and since I don't smoke they get mad when I say no to them ( I find this way of thinking odd). Sorry for the long post
Gasho
Chris