Hello all! First time starting a thread (oooooooh :idea: )

Anyways, occasionally in between practice periods while contemplating things like emptiness (you know, like any normal 19 year old :shock: ) I will be overcome with this powerful wave of emotion which I feel translates, roughly, as fear. Fear that if everything I see isn't real, and that I'm not real, and that if I progress any further or investigate any deeper I will cease to exist. Sounds crazy and it is. There is supposed to be peace in seeing everything as an illusion, but I just feel like I may be schizophrenic and that I am trapped inside my own head. After some reassurance, yes, I calm down but I feel like that may only hurt my practice, reinforcing the fallacies I seem to cling to.

I read somewhere that fear often precedes great awakening; while I realize that isn't the "goal" of zazen, I wonder if I'm missing out on a grand opportunity for understanding by being so overcome with this fear that everything will turn to dust if I "realize" emptiness. Thoughts, experiences?

Gassho
Taylor