Originally Posted by
disastermouse
This tendency for self-improvement is problematic in a practice like shikantaza. I would hope that after a while, a Zen student would start to realize that exactly what gets in the way of realizing 'just this' is this quest to attain 'just this'. I also think that after a while, the whole 'motivation' thing changes. I don't sit zazen because I think I should, or to get anything, or out of guilt - I sit because I realize that Dogen was right - shikantaza is the expression of enlightenment - I look forward to letting everything drop to the extent that it does (and even dropping the idea of dropping) - just resting 'in this' - which is always with us, but to which we pile on so much. I don't value practice at all - for me, it's beyond value or not-value. I don't want to express enlightenment in shikantaza because I think it's somehow better than delusion, I simply know that my attachment to 'the show' causes stress and even at my most deluded, there is a small reminder caged somewhere in me that never forgets that even in the most screwed-up mental state or situational reality - there is the seed of basic sanity, of Buddha - that permeates even the most convoluted and attached of my mental states. In fact, it's like the seed IS also those convoluted mental states - or that the convoluted mental states are also an expression of the seed of sanity. It's a mistaken belief of the ego that so much energy is required to maintain goodness, to maintain security, to maintain a beneficial 'life-situation' - it's like ego mistakes the expression of enlightenment (which is ALL content) for the seed of enlightenment/goodness/happiness (which is the ESSENCE or GROUND of reality).
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My further advice is this - forget all about enlightenment - what is this? There is just this - if this isn't enlightenment, then what could enlightenment be? It really isn't 'something else', because that something else is just a picture in your head or an emotional feeling of lack - it's not a full realization of this - it's extra energy, it's strategizing...it's taking this, making a picture of it, and projecting possible futures, memories of the past, scenarios, etc. The mind will do this anyway, but when you create an identity with it, when you lose an anchoring in the actual reality of your living existence....you're trapped in the 'show', not 'watching the show'....not even really immersed in the show, since you're also sub-strategizing and fluctuating the show to try to get the best possible situation at all times.
Enlightenment is easy - it's delusion that takes a whole lot of work - we just don't see that because we don't even realize how hard we're working at clinging, aversion, etc.