Hello all,

In my readings (such as Gudo Nishijima, among others) I've encountered references and even stressing of the desire to find or know 'the Truth' - with a capital 'T'.. which served as a catalyst to the teachers. It also appears to be quite important to have such a desire, despite the apparent paradox of not having desires in the Buddhist sense, in propelling one on the path. Nishijima and others refer to its importance and guidance. I then reflect on myself and find that I don't have this desire. I don't feel particularly compelled to know the Truth. I don't feel particularly compelled to 'be enlightened' or any such thing. If I can have my tea in the morning and simply have my tea - or if my zazen practice provides me equanimity and clarity of my senses and mind in day by day or moment by moment sense, then that seems more than good enough for me. If I can act compassionately toward others then the Truth may remain hidden. Similarly, arriving at the understanding or sight of no-self is all well and good, but whether a no-self or self is enjoying a glass of hot tea doesn't really matter provided I or not-I is that enjoyment. Am I then an apathetic and tepid practitioner that will fizzle out rather than obtain some greater or more lasting understanding or posture? Or a person that removes the heart of zen and Buddhism via the entrapments of pragmatism? To me, if an inoculation works, I don't need to see or know the formula or the makeup - I'll just enjoy my health.