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Thread: How should i handle this?

  1. #1

    How should i handle this?

    Hi everyone,

    I have a slight issue in my business communications class and i am not sure how to handle it. I do distance learning and I get graded on participation in "class". It is hard for me to participate in class when we have stopped discussing the topic. Well, there is this guy who is constantly preaching to everyone and getting off the discussion question. This is what he wrote to me tonight:

    "I agree with not giving all your money to the church. But paying your tithes is mandatory. Read the book of laws in Deuteronomy and it will explain it. Because without GOD you would not have a job let alone a life. God puts everyone in position,so play your part and give him the praise."

    My instructor was complaining about her church calling her house asking her for her donation. She said they were down right harassing her and what should she do. I told her not to give all her money to the church to give it to her community or someone in her life who may need it. This is not the first time this man has said things like this to me. I figure it is a business communication class, not church. I don't need to be preached to. Maybe i'm just looking too much into it. What do ya'll think?

    Thank you in advance,
    Paula :?

  2. #2

    Re: How should i handle this?

    Sounds like you have a fundie who no matter what thinks he is right just ignore him and is it gets in the way of your studies hand it over to your teacher and let him/her deal with it. I had a bit of a fundie like that once and they don't give up the chances are things get ugly and there is no point in it getting to that. Might say something along the lines of thanks for your opinion but I am comfertable in my own faith and would appreciate it if you respect that and hope he gets the message....

  3. #3

    Re: How should i handle this?

    Sometimes it's important to remember that other peoples' words don't take anything away from you. One of my favorite personal gathas is "There is nothing to protect, there is nothing to defend." Of course, in our Soto way there are things to protect and defend, yet... not. However, consider whether you really need to defend yourself against these words, as they are only words and only on an internet forum, no less. Take mine with the same grain of salt.

  4. #4

    Re: How should i handle this?

    Thank you mum21andtwins, and Shinkai,

    What i ended up doing was just letting it go. It helped to just talk about it and get it out. My husband was encouraging me to start a war but that is not what i want to do. These are my peers and i only have 4 more weeks with some of them, so it is easier to just log out and walk away. Normally, i would have jumped on it without thinking, instead i kept out of it. That man just likes to preach and probably thinks he can "save" everyone, he is free to think that way. Thank you for your answers.


  5. #5

    Re: How should i handle this?

    I am trying to catch up on the Treeleaf reading assignment (Shobogenzo Zuimonki) and I came across this little bit of advice from Dogen that may be applicable here:

    Even if you are speaking rationally and another person says something unreasonable, it is wrong to defeat him by arguing logically. On the other hand, it is not good to give up hastily saying that you are wrong, even though you think that your opinion is reasonable.

    Neither defeats him, nor withdraw saying you are wrong. It is best to just leave the matter alone and stop arguing. If you act as if you have not heard and forget about the matter, he will forget too and will not get angry. This is a very important thing to bear in mind.
    It sounds like you've made the right decision!


  6. #6

    Re: How should i handle this?

    Hang up.


  7. #7

    Re: How should i handle this?

    Don't give them any reason to harass you. Don't fall for it. It's hard sometimes, but just let them do their thing without attaching a like or dislike to it.

    Perhaps you are more skillful and can turn the situation around.

    The Zuimonki quote is relevant, and one that kept popping up. But practice is important to get around our usual reactions. This is the situation that you are in. You can either leave or deal with it. One way to deal with it would be to not give in to whatever the person is selling and forget about it unless it gets out of hand. Metta might be alright (I never really do it). It's Up to you.

    Gassho _/_

  8. #8

    Re: How should i handle this?

    Take mine with the same grain of salt.
    it's all one grain, grasshopper... :roll:

    I agree with all that, but here's the condensed version for people short on time: "pfft."

    The unfortunate thing about nice, decent and otherwise likeable Christians is they always think its their religious obligation to yank other people into The Lord's swimming pool. I testify and affirm I almost drowned there, and I ain't goin' back in.

    I also try to remember that I used to believe all that, and was for a time sincere and dedicated. Its hard to fault someone for doing what they genuinely believe is right. Which is why I took to highway carpet off the driveway after the Jehova's Witnesses got mauled by my Ninja Squirrels while trying to change a flat.

    Also, wherever you are in life, just don't let 'em get to ya.

    I'm done now, for the sake of Pete. :wink:


  9. #9

    Re: How should i handle this?

    Thank you everyone, I really enjoy reading everybody's thoughts about my silly situations. I am still very new, so please bear with me. Again, Thank you...

    Paula :wink:

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