I have been more bummed out by the death of MIchael Jackson than I would have guessed beforehand. I watched his memorial service at work yesterday instead of working, which was no big deal because I planned on just doing that work at home in the evening. But then I spent the evening watching all the coverage of the memorial service. It was all quite emotional -- very sad, so sad that I just went to bed. So now, this morning, I am still sad while also under pressure to get this work done that MUST be done soon. Pressure + sadness = not a very good recipe for zazen. But I do it anyway!

This morning's zazen was a "cloudy monkey" affair. MInd running away with thoughts of Michael and work, dropping that briefly, more monkey, etc. But towards the end of my half hour I began to realize that there is a bigger world out there than emotions and work pressures, that I had been constricting my mind with these things, and that through zazen I was beginning to see not a way out, not an escape at all, but a way beyond those thoughts that had been constricting me. I'm still sad, still under pressure, but I am also aware of the much bigger picture, and that puts things in their proper place.

OK, gotta run now and get this work done.