
Originally Posted by
Dosho
You are quite right about what an outside perspective can offer and his background is interesting. My father taught religion for about 30 years at a community college and in high school planned to be a methodist minister. He has always had a negative view of zen, although I've never been able to get him to say why. He is a Toni Packer fan though...can't get him to explain that one either as he keeps his views close to the vest. The ultimate challenge will be finding out what he thinks of me practicing zen...I'm not thinking that's likely. :?
You'd be surprised (or maybe not) at the 'meeting of the heart&mind' that can occur on such matter between parents and children as the years pass (not always ... but very often). If dad is a Toni Packer 'fan', then he is a Zen 'fan' in some way deep down (Toni Packer is still a Zen teacher, whatever she labels it) ... and if he had a religious calling deep down, and taught religion for 30 years, I would bet that the common ground is not too far below the surface ... even if he wishes perhaps you had kept to the family religion.
My mother, later in life, was very open to the road I choose (my father years before). During the first few years, she had been concerned that "Zen" meant I would be hanging around airports in a bedsheet selling George Harrison CDs. When she had cancer, I even had her Zazening , and in the end, she asked me to perform a "Buddhist Jewish Whatever' funeral as clergy ... which I did.
By the way ... here is something I did with mom before she passed that I recommend to a lot of folks: I got a video camera and conducted about 4 or 5 hours of "interviews" (in the style of the American CNN show "Larry King" or the like), just asking mom questions and letting her respond. At first, we both thought that she would have nothing to say. But ya know, sometimes when people get talking about their lives ... well, 4 or 5 hours was no problem! Questions were very simple ... such as ....
- What was your toughest moment in life?
- What is your greatest memory in life?
- What is your advice for overcoming the tough times?
- What would you like to pass on to your grandchildren as a lesson in life?
- What is your view on God?
- Where do you think the world is going?
- How has the world changed over your lifetime, since you were a kid?
- Tell me about your parents.
- What would you change if you had to do it over again?
- What would you not change if you had to do it over again?
etc. etc. It is pretty easy to make a list. It was a real learning experience as we were doing it (I even found out a few stories and amazing facts about our family and her that I did not know ... and I thought I knew everything!). Now that she has passed, it is nice to have to give our kids too.
Gassho, Jundo