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Thread: A difficult co-worker

  1. #1

    A difficult co-worker

    I am mostly convinced I did the right thing. I'm using this forum to crstalize my thought on the whole incedent. As always, I'm open to comments on anything.
    The basic problem was that this co-worker was just wholly offensive. not in odor or appearance, but in manners and speech. A constant torrent of homophobic comments. requests of females to remove clothing at work. abusive speech towards people with handicaps, medical issues, or even just poor fashion sense (a crime I regularly commit apparently ops: )
    As an assistant supervisor, I have tried and tried to reign him in and show him that he's hurting others. My supervisors have done so, as well, and we just couldn't get through. I even tried befriending him and steering him away from his negative acts... and I received a company wide rumor alleging I was sleeping with my supervisor for my trouble.
    After about a year, I had enough and yesterday I went to HR to address the issue... HR promptly executed an investigation and interviewed, one at a time, all my immediate co-workers and now the guy is fired.
    despite whistleblower laws/policies the guy knows its me who turned him in. I hope he is not dumb enough to do anything illegal against me. I don't want him going to jail.
    Those are the facts. My father is a district court judge and told me this guys acts and speech were illegal and I did the right thing. My problem is that I know I did this for selfish reasons. He was personally making my life a living hell and I just wanted him to stop. I knew full well that he would be fired if I went to HR... HR did interview alot of people and they wouldn't fire someone for my allegations alone...
    Also, I wish I could have saved him. Wish it hadn't come to this. Wish I wasn't afraid my car will get jacked up or something will happen to my dog.
    and what perfect timing for Jundo to publish the Metta practice? eh?

  2. #2

    Re: A difficult co-worker

    IMHO you did the right thing no matter how you slice it. you went out of your way to attempt to help him out, I only hope I would be able to follow your example there.
    Definitely send some Metta his way.
    Gassho, Dirk

  3. #3

    Re: A difficult co-worker

    It sounds to me as if your reasons were not so selfish. You were trying to help not only yourself, but the person in question as well as the people around you. Well done. I think you did the right thing.

    I also think that in cases like this, it can give the person in question an opportunity to look at their behavior and perhaps change. Some people, self included, learn best from the school of hard knocks.


  4. #4

    Re: A difficult co-worker

    Xander - this type of decision comes with the territory of being in management. You did your best & from what I read acted appropriately. In time you will feel better about all of this, but its a bit raw at the moment.

    If he touches your car, property, dog or you - get the police involved.

    Gather some friends about you & look forward to something else & of course - sit

    Kind regards


  5. #5

    Re: A difficult co-worker

    Hi Xander,

    As a Buddhist, teacher, lawyer, someone who hires folks for our small translation office, and human being (the 'lawyer' part does not rule that out), it sounds to me that you handled this wisely and compassionately. You gave him every chance, tried many ways ... and in the end, it was necessary for the other people in the company and the company itself.

    I hope he will learn from it, which will leave him better for the future.

    If it is any comfort, the 'Big Boss' Shakyamuni would regularly boot folks out of his 'company' for comparable conduct. It is necessary for the preservation of group harmony.

    Gassho, Jundo

  6. #6
    Member Martin's Avatar
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    Jun 2007
    Wherever the next mediation is. Every now and then I make it back to Norfolk, England.

    Re: A difficult co-worker


    I agree with the other comments. And - I used to be an employment lawyer in a previous life - you can fairly safely bet that HR wouldn't have sacked him if the evidence from the others they spoke to had not been strong. Your action was simply one link in the chain of causation, not the sole or even main cause.



  7. #7

    Re: A difficult co-worker

    Thank you all for your support!
    I am working through it and I'm starting to feel like its all starting to return to "normal"


  8. #8

    Re: A difficult co-worker

    You did the right thing. You taught him a lesson in responsibility. He was responsible for his actions, and the result of his actions, not yours, is what led to his firing. Whether he learns anything from this lesson is another thing, and that is beyond your control at this point. As said above, you were just a link in the chain, a wise link. You performed a right action, IMO, and now it is time to move on.

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