Dear TreeLEafers!

I realised recently as I was watching my mind getting stuck in the stories it was constructing and the pain it caused that there was a side to me that sort of enjoyed this wallowing in its own misery, this suffering. This struck me as a rather unhealthy choice and choice it was: when I caught myself at being dragged by the thoughts that would then make me feel a certain way I knew all I needed to do was to let go of those thoughts but sometimes (not always) I'd have this but-I-rather-like-this-misery attitude, very subtle and almost impossible to spot but it was there!!! :shock: :roll:

I am now trying to figure out where it comes from, this self-distructive behaviour. Maybe sometimes these thoughts give an excuse for feeling down and sort of let out the emotional load one carries?

I also find "misery" being very helpful in waking up my creative side when I would feel like taking up a brush. Am I fuelling my own misery as a way to get inspired??? :evil:

Anyone has similar symptoms? :wink:

Gassho,

Irina