I'm sure that besides that silent struggle sensation you feel somewhere deep inside that there is something just right about sitting, an ever so vague notion of being where you belong. That's the real you, and to reveal it you don't need to struggle with your struggle. Just let the struggle, like everything else, come and go. Just stay in the moment: there is a crack between one moment and the other where all that is fictitious (thoughts, wants, worries about lunch, anger that you indulged in dumb daydreaming three seconds ago, etc) will fall if you just stop dragging it. Keep it up, man!