Scope of awareness during zazen

[Hōzan]

I don't know how to put this into words, but I will give it a try. When I do zazen, I find it difficult to have an ‘open awareness’ – being aware of everything and nothing at once. I am not referring to 'staying' with this ‘open awareness’ (concentration) but more the 'scope' of awareness. Being aware of only the breath is ok (small scope), but opening up to ‘everything and nothing’ (large scope) I sometimes feel like my awareness is jumping from one thing to another in sequence rather than being aware of everything at once. I usually experience something like the following: 1) I become aware of a sound, 2) the sound disappears and I am aware of the silence, 3) a thought pops up, 4) back to silence, 5) pain in my knee, 6) back to silence. I feel my 'open to everything and nothing' becomes aware of 1-2 things at a time and in sequence, and not ‘everything at once’. I want to try to stay with the ‘open awareness’ (the large scope). Is my understanding of the instructions wrong? How do you experience this? Any comments are appreciated

, Michael
SaTLaH

[Tai Do]

Hi Michael,
I can give you no teaching, only my own experience (and, of course, I can be entirely wrong!): open awareness presents itself as an awareness which is open to anything that pops up in my consciousness in a given moment. What you described is pretty much the same experience I have in sitting zazen. The point of it, I think, is not to hold on to what we become conscious at a given time and let it go away by its own, and them another thing pops up in the conciousness; sometimes there is the clear blue sky, sometimes only one thought leading to another (but we now know that the blue sky is there all along'): "thoughts and thoughts appear in mind, thoughts and thoughts are not different from mind" (Ten Line Kannon Sutra).
Gassho,
Tai Do (Mateus)
Satlah

[Ryumon]

I kind of feel it’s like learning to ride a bicycle: you can’t do it until you can. And if you started meditating by following your breath, or counting your breath, it’s a lot more difficult. It took me years to grasp open awareness, and it’s not always easy each time I sit.

Gassho,
Ryūmon (Kirk)
Sat

[Daiman]

For me, when body sensations are noticed, just body sensations. When the breath, then just the breath, when sounds, then just sounds. This open field of awareness contains all of it. We are not trying to push any of it away or hold on to any of it. Awareness is always there, we are just not always paying attention. So in zazen, we just allow everything to be there as it is. The thing that usually gets in the way is that we have this belief that there should be something more than this or if the mind gets pulled away into an internal dialogue for a moment that we must be doing something wrong. The moment you notice you have stepped outside of this choiceness awareness, we are already back to the present wide open field of awareness.

Working with this understanding is what has helped my practice and I always need a constant reminder and that is not a bad thing, it just becomes re-mindfulness at that point.

Gassho,

Daiman

SatToday

[Kokuu]

For me, when body sensations are noticed, just body sensations. When the breath, then just the breath, when sounds, then just sounds. This open field of awareness contains all of it. We are not trying to push any of it away or hold on to any of it

Yes, this is also my understanding. The field of awareness grows or shrinks as needed. I see it according to this pasage in Dogen's Genjokoan:

A fish swims in the ocean, and no matter how far it swims there is no end to the water. A bird flies in the sky, and no matter how far it flies there is no end to the air. However, the fish and the bird have never left their elements. When their activity is large their field is large. When their need is small their field is small. Thus, each of them totally covers its full range, and each of them totally experiences its realm.

Gassho
Kokuu
-sattoday-

[Daiman]

Yes, this is also my understanding. The field of awareness grows or shrinks as needed. I see it according to this pasage in Dogen's Genjokoan:



Gassho
Kokuu
-sattoday-

Thank you Kokuu. I love this passage from Dogen that you shared. And, it is a great passage to highlight this way of sitting.

A fish swims in the ocean, and no matter how far it swims there is no end to the water. A bird flies in the sky, and no matter how far it flies there is no end to the air. However, the fish and the bird have never left their elements. When their activity is large their field is large. When their need is small their field is small. Thus, each of them totally covers its full range, and each of them totally experiences its realm.

I also see this passage as each of us knowing that even though we are all interdependent, interconnected, and interbeings, each has its own place according to the situation, the relationship to that situation and our function. So many layers to Dogen which is why his teachings are so profound.

Gassho,
Daiman
SatToday

[Hōzan]

So, whether my scope/bandwith of awareness is small (1-2 things at a time) or large (aware of all stimuli simultaneously) is beside the point. Sometimes its small and sometimes its large. I leave it as it is and let go.

Thank you Tai Do, Daiman, Ryumon, and Kokuu
Michael
Satlah

[Jishin]

Open awareness, vast and free,
A mind unbound, wild and carefree.
Aware of everything, and nothing at all,
A balance, like a waterfall.

In every moment, fully present,
Aware of the world and its essence.
Thoughts come and go, like the tide,
But awareness remains, a constant guide.

The more we let go, the more we see,
The beauty in all, wild and free.
A mind uncluttered, open and clear,
Awareness shines, bright and dear.

With open awareness, we're reborn,
A new perspective, a new dawn.
All that is, and all that's not,
In this awareness, all is sought.

So let go of all that holds you back,
And open your mind, let it track,
The beauty of the world around,
In open awareness, truly found.

Gassho, Jishin, ST, LAH

[Seiko]

I don't know how to put this into words, but I will give it a try. When I do zazen, I find it difficult to have an ‘open awareness’ – being aware of everything and nothing at once. I am not referring to 'staying' with this ‘open awareness’ (concentration) but more the 'scope' of awareness. Being aware of only the breath is ok (small scope), but opening up to ‘everything and nothing’ (large scope) I sometimes feel like my awareness is jumping from one thing to another in sequence rather than being aware of everything at once. I usually experience something like the following: 1) I become aware of a sound, 2) the sound disappears and I am aware of the silence, 3) a thought pops up, 4) back to silence, 5) pain in my knee, 6) back to silence. I feel my 'open to everything and nothing' becomes aware of 1-2 things at a time and in sequence, and not ‘everything at once’. I want to try to stay with the ‘open awareness’ (the large scope). Is my understanding of the instructions wrong? How do you experience this? Any comments are appreciated

, Michael
SaTLaH

Hi Michael,
What a great question. Your observations have led me to re-examine my own practice and investigate my real thoughts on what is going on - anew.
So my experience is that;
a shifting focus of attention is not a concern for me,
I try not to plan stuff or actively problem-solve during zazen time,
Being aware of passing thoughts in my internal world, doesn't stop me from getting up and dealing with an urgent problem in the external world (eg, the cat breaking something or someone ringing my doorbell).
I don't know if what I do is absolutely correct, but it's what I do.

Seiko
stlah

[Kokuu]

Open awareness, vast and free,
A mind unbound, wild and carefree.
Aware of everything, and nothing at all,
A balance, like a waterfall.

In every moment, fully present,
Aware of the world and its essence.
Thoughts come and go, like the tide,
But awareness remains, a constant guide.

The more we let go, the more we see,
The beauty in all, wild and free.
A mind uncluttered, open and clear,
Awareness shines, bright and dear.

With open awareness, we're reborn,
A new perspective, a new dawn.
All that is, and all that's not,
In this awareness, all is sought.

So let go of all that holds you back,
And open your mind, let it track,
The beauty of the world around,
In open awareness, truly found.

Have you been taking poetry pills, Jishin?

I've noticed a few nice works from you around the place!

Gassho
Kokuu
-sattoday-

[Jishin]

Have you been taking poetry pills, Jishin?

A pill of poetry, so small and unassuming,
But oh, the power it holds within.
Taken with a sip of water, or a gulp of tea,
It begins to work its magic.

The words on the page come alive,
Dancing before my eyes in vibrant hues.
The rhythm and rhyme, they pulse and they sing,
A symphony of language, a work of art divine.

My mind is transported to another place,
A realm of imagination, where anything is possible.
I am lost in the beauty of verse and metaphor,
And I never want to return.

For this poetry pill is my addiction,
A drug that I cannot resist.
It feeds my soul and sets my spirit free,
And I am forever under its blissful spell.

So I will continue to take my poetry pill,
And let it take me on a journey.
For in its words and rhythms, I find my escape,
And the truest form of beauty, the purest form of release.

[Kokuu]

For this poetry pill is my addiction,
A drug that I cannot resist.
It feeds my soul and sets my spirit free,
And I am forever under its blissful spell.

So I will continue to take my poetry pill,
And let it take me on a journey.
For in its words and rhythms, I find my escape,
And the truest form of beauty, the purest form of release.

[Jundo]

I don't know how to put this into words, but I will give it a try. When I do zazen, I find it difficult to have an ‘open awareness’ – being aware of everything and nothing at once. I am not referring to 'staying' with this ‘open awareness’ (concentration) but more the 'scope' of awareness. Being aware of only the breath is ok (small scope), but opening up to ‘everything and nothing’ (large scope) I sometimes feel like my awareness is jumping from one thing to another in sequence rather than being aware of everything at once. I usually experience something like the following: 1) I become aware of a sound, 2) the sound disappears and I am aware of the silence, 3) a thought pops up, 4) back to silence, 5) pain in my knee, 6) back to silence. I feel my 'open to everything and nothing' becomes aware of 1-2 things at a time and in sequence, and not ‘everything at once’. I want to try to stay with the ‘open awareness’ (the large scope). Is my understanding of the instructions wrong? How do you experience this? Any comments are appreciated

, Michael
SaTLaH

It was very interesting to read everyone's responses here. My explanation is very simple, and it is not something too complicated (even so, it is very different from how we typically encounter the world most of the time):

The eyes are a little open, and we see things ... but we don't get tangled in thinking about things we see, or anything else. Thought may come like a passing train, but we don't get on board, and just let them go. We also have a profound equanimity about what we are seeing or anything else. Whatever is before us or in our life ... the breath or a battlefield ... would not change this basic attitude.

The eyes can flit and rest here and there, resting here on this, then moving over to that. It is just that we don't get tangled in thoughts and judgements about here or there, this or that. Here is just here, that is just that.

That is 'Open Awareness.'

Then, add to that a deep trust, in our bones, that sitting is the one act to do, the one place to be, complete in its wholeness merely by the act of sitting, sitting for sitting's sake, sitting as the embodiment of the Buddhas and Ancestors sitting, sitting as the "cat's meow," sitting as the Alpha and Omega, dropping measurements and assessments, whereby each moment of sitting encompasses all time and space ...

That is Shikantaza.

It is not a matter of need to attain or hold being aware of everything at once, or one thing or 100 things.

I usually experience something like the following: 1) I become aware of a sound, 2) the sound disappears and I am aware of the silence, 3) a thought pops up, 4) back to silence, 5) pain in my knee, 6) back to silence. I feel my 'open to everything and nothing' becomes aware of 1-2 things at a time and in sequence, and not ‘everything at once’. I want to try to stay with the ‘open awareness’ (the large scope). Is my understanding of the instructions wrong? How do you experience this? Any comments are appreciated

It is not a matter of quantity and numbers. Sound is just sound when happening, silence is just silence when happening, pain just pain, everything just everything. Sound is everything, silence is everything, pain is everything. Just don't get caught up in tangled thoughts about silence, sound, pain or anything/everything.

... The point of it, I think, is not to hold on to what we become conscious at a given time and let it go away by its own, and them another thing pops up in the conciousness; sometimes there is the clear blue sky, sometimes only one thought leading to another (but we now know that the blue sky is there all along')

... When the breath, then just the breath, when sounds, then just sounds. This open field of awareness contains all of it. We are not trying to push any of it away or hold on to any of it. Awareness is always there, we are just not always paying attention. So in zazen, we just allow everything to be there as it is. The thing that usually gets in the way is that we have this belief that there should be something more than this or if the mind gets pulled away into an internal dialogue for a moment that we must be doing something wrong. The moment you notice you have stepped outside of this choiceness awareness, we are already back to the present wide open field of awareness.

a shifting focus of attention is not a concern for me,
I try not to plan stuff or actively problem-solve during zazen time,
Being aware of passing thoughts in my internal world, doesn't stop me from getting up and dealing with an urgent problem in the external world (eg, the cat breaking something or someone ringing my doorbell).

That all sounds excellent as "open awareness." Lovely.

Just add the Shikantaza part about it all being whole and sacred and timeless, Buddha Sitting, beyond measures of time or achievement.

And as a final note, as Taido Mateus noted, even on those days when the head is a mess, thinking about baseball or problems at the office, even though that is not technically "open awareness" because we are all tangled up in thoughts and emotions ... it is still excellent Zazen, for hidden or not "the blue sky is there all along" even when buried in clouds. In fact, even those thoughts of baseball or the office are "just what is" in that moment.

And Jishin ... truly, I have really dug some of your poems the last couple of days. Nice ...

Open awareness, vast and free,
A mind unbound, wild and carefree.
Aware of everything, and nothing at all,
A balance, like a waterfall.

In every moment, fully present,
Aware of the world and its essence.
Thoughts come and go, like the tide,
But awareness remains, a constant guide.

The more we let go, the more we see,
The beauty in all, wild and free.
A mind uncluttered, open and clear,
Awareness shines, bright and dear.

With open awareness, we're reborn,
A new perspective, a new dawn.
All that is, and all that's not,
In this awareness, all is sought.

So let go of all that holds you back,
And open your mind, let it track,
The beauty of the world around,
In open awareness, truly found.

Gassho, J

stlah

[Hōzan]

Thank you, all. Thank you, Jundo

Michael
Satlah

[Onki]

Just this moment. Sounds like Zazen to me!
There will be thoughts, sounds, and distractions and those are all a part of it. Return to sitting. All is our practice

Gasshō,

Onki

Sat today

[Tokan]

Hey all

Very simply for me, I don't push anything away or pull it towards me, if my awareness must be directed towards anything, it is non-attachment, until that too falls away.

Gassho, Tokan

satlah

[Tairin]

Just only sitting.

When I find that I’ve started to drift into thought I gently redirect my self to just sitting. Sometimes I catch it quickly…. Sometimes I find I might have been lost in thoughts for some minutes. Either way I gently redirect myself to just sitting.


Tairin
Sat today and lah