Sitting in Turmoil

[Seiko]

Nothing is permanent, not even carpets. Those old carpets have served us well, perhaps too long, as their shabbiness is now embarassing. I finally agreed with my wife that they must be replaced. This is a big decision for me, not only because of the cost, but also because of my eyesight, any changes in my home are difficult to settle into. But I should be truthful. Actually I never really liked this type of change (yes, I know change is inevitable), it is strangely unsettling and unnerving. I think of myself as a fairly rational man, but preparing for the new floors to be laid has given rise to emotions that were otherwise well hidden. I don't like it. I want the result, just not to live through the turmoil. So I'm learning a lot about myself - how I can lie to myself and pretend I am some kind of iron man, when in reality, my mind is in as much turmoil as this house. Every room on the ground floor must be emptied of furniture. I must put behind me my old opinions and prejudices. The floors must be cleaned as I try to polish that rough old rock that is me. Outwardly, I am making great progress. Inwardly - not always. For a few weeks I am sitting in turmoil. Trying to comfort the cats. They don't like change either. Or are they comforting me?

Gassho
Seiko
stlah

[Jundo]

[Prashanth]

Nothing is permanent, not even carpets. Those old carpets have served us well, perhaps too long, as their shabbiness is now embarassing. I finally agreed with my wife that they must be replaced. This is a big decision for me, not only because of the cost, but also because of my eyesight, any changes in my home are difficult to settle into. But I should be truthful. Actually I never really liked this type of change (yes, I know change is inevitable), it is strangely unsettling and unnerving. I think of myself as a fairly rational man, but preparing for the new floors to be laid has given rise to emotions that were otherwise well hidden. I don't like it. I want the result, just not to live through the turmoil. So I'm learning a lot about myself - how I can lie to myself and pretend I am some kind of iron man, when in reality, my mind is in as much turmoil as this house. Every room on the ground floor must be emptied of furniture. I must put behind me my old opinions and prejudices. The floors must be cleaned as I try to polish that rough old rock that is me. Outwardly, I am making great progress. Inwardly - not always. For a few weeks I am sitting in turmoil. Trying to comfort the cats. They don't like change either. Or are they comforting me?

Gassho
Seiko
stlah

Ah..one of those days.
Are we, as humans, socially and evolutionarily programmed to see hope for survival in symbols of permanence?
The old carpet was an assurance, a trusted bearer of footprints for decades. Now the new carpet brings uncertainty, even the color seems to be a challenge. In between is a tug of war between permanence and impermanence.
What to do, apart from just carrying on?

Gassho.

sat.




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[Prashanth]

So the path around the carpet is where we can walk , and not on it, right?

Gassho.

sat.

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[Tairin]

Nothing is permanent, not even carpets. Those old carpets have served us well, perhaps too long, as their shabbiness is now embarassing. I finally agreed with my wife that they must be replaced. This is a big decision for me, not only because of the cost, but also because of my eyesight, any changes in my home are difficult to settle into. But I should be truthful. Actually I never really liked this type of change (yes, I know change is inevitable), it is strangely unsettling and unnerving. I think of myself as a fairly rational man, but preparing for the new floors to be laid has given rise to emotions that were otherwise well hidden. I don't like it. I want the result, just not to live through the turmoil. So I'm learning a lot about myself - how I can lie to myself and pretend I am some kind of iron man, when in reality, my mind is in as much turmoil as this house. Every room on the ground floor must be emptied of furniture. I must put behind me my old opinions and prejudices. The floors must be cleaned as I try to polish that rough old rock that is me. Outwardly, I am making great progress. Inwardly - not always. For a few weeks I am sitting in turmoil. Trying to comfort the cats. They don't like change either. Or are they comforting me?

Gassho
Seiko
stlah

Your post really resonates with me. I could have pretty much written this about myself and how I feel about changes in my home. As much as aspire to be some calm serene Zen dude some things just trigger my anxiety. I see this as something to work with through my practice and sit with.

Good luck with your reflooring and know that it will be over soon. Once it is over you'll wonder what you got so wound up about.


Tairin
Sat today and lah

[Seiko]

Thank you Jundo. Yes, right now, the carpet is my teacher.

Gassho
Seiko
stlah

[Shinshi]

Nothing is permanent, not even carpets. Those old carpets have served us well, perhaps too long, as their shabbiness is now embarassing. I finally agreed with my wife that they must be replaced. This is a big decision for me, not only because of the cost, but also because of my eyesight, any changes in my home are difficult to settle into. But I should be truthful. Actually I never really liked this type of change (yes, I know change is inevitable), it is strangely unsettling and unnerving. I think of myself as a fairly rational man, but preparing for the new floors to be laid has given rise to emotions that were otherwise well hidden. I don't like it. I want the result, just not to live through the turmoil. So I'm learning a lot about myself - how I can lie to myself and pretend I am some kind of iron man, when in reality, my mind is in as much turmoil as this house. Every room on the ground floor must be emptied of furniture. I must put behind me my old opinions and prejudices. The floors must be cleaned as I try to polish that rough old rock that is me. Outwardly, I am making great progress. Inwardly - not always. For a few weeks I am sitting in turmoil. Trying to comfort the cats. They don't like change either. Or are they comforting me?

Gassho
Seiko
stlah

I hear you, I am getting ready to move to a new home in another state. Nooooo!

It sounds like you get this already. But discomfort is a great clue that our attachments are being threatened. So it is a wonderful opportunity to look deeply at the root of those attachments. Where do they come from, what is being triggered. I like to try and calm my mind (along with a few deep breaths) and then really lean into it and see if I can find what is going on. Sometimes it is too scary, but sometimes it can diminish the emotional response. It sounds like you are already doing this but I thought I would share.

-sorry I ran a bit long

Gassho, Shinshi

SaT-LaH

[Meian]

But discomfort is a great clue that our attachments are being threatened. So it is a wonderful opportunity to look deeply at the root of those attachments. Where do they come from, what is being triggered. I like to try and calm my mind (along with a few deep breaths) and then really lean into it and see if I can find what is going on. Sometimes it is too scary, but sometimes it can diminish the emotional response.

Thank you for this, Shinshi.
Best wishes on your move.
Gassho2
stlh

[Jundo]

Why did Buddha and the other early monks walk here and there across India, bare foot and with just a robe and bowl (maybe a small carpet to sit on, the predecessor of our present Zagu Bowing Cloth)?

Why did Bodhidharma come to the West? Why did the chicken cross the road, for that matter?

Why did Dogen go to China? Why did he come back, empty handed, knowing only that the eyes are horizontal and the nose vertical?

Because all of life is change, not frozen. Even the mountains and ground that appear unchanging are truly flowing ...

https://the-earth-story.com/post/100...antle%20itself.

Atoms are always moving, so much that they cannot be pinned down.

Our practice is to go with the flow and, moreover, to be the flow. It is not only a simple rug, but all the changes of life and death, society and history ... flowing flowing ...

Some have noted that a Zen Koan is a device to "pull the rug out" from under our ordinary ways of thinking.

Gassho, J

STLah

Sorry to run long

[Seiko]

Why did Buddha and the other early monks walk here and there across India, bare foot and with just a robe and bowl (maybe a small carpet to sit on, the predecessor of our present Zagu Bowing Cloth)?

Why did Bodhidharma come to the West? Why did the chicken cross the road, for that matter?

Why did Dogen go to China? Why did he come back, empty handed, knowing only that the eyes are horizontal and the nose vertical?

Because all of life is change, not frozen. Even the mountains and ground that appear unchanging are truly flowing ...

https://the-earth-story.com/post/100...antle%20itself.

Atoms are always moving, so much that they cannot be pinned down.

Our practice is to go with the flow and, moreover, to be the flow. It is not only a simple rug, but all the changes of life and death, society and history ... flowing flowing ...

Some have noted that a Zen Koan is a device to "pull the rug out" from under our ordinary ways of thinking.

Gassho, J

STLah

Sorry to run long

Seiko
stlah