Dealing with busyness

[Dogukan]

Hi everyone!

I haven't been here for a few weeks, I hope all is well in your life.

I've been pretty busy these past weeks. More than I am used to. I took a series of exams, GRE-like ones, one in English and one in Turkish. I tried to get reference letters, translated my essays into English etc. I was (and, still am) in a process where I have to decide what to do with my life. And that process, with its physical and mental busyness, was rather unpleasant, but also eye-opening at the same time.

I have always self-labelled myself as a "carefree" person. To be honest, I've clung to this label most of the time. Yet, during this process, I was shocked into shame to discover that I was carefree only because I had nothing to worry about. I was quite young, there was no need to make money, presumably some people would always look after me... But when real concerns came to light, I proved to be not at all carefree.

Unfortunately, I couldn't deal well with that busyness. My practice was going well until then, but I started to neglect it when the exams approached. First I thought "Well, there's a lot of things I have to do. It would be no harm if I shorten my practice time.", then -as you can easily guess- it turned out "Well, every other day maybe?" I know that I can put this in order when things calm down. But the important point is to continue the practice even, and especially when, things are not so calm.

I know that most of you are dealing with real life way more than I am. You run a career, you take part in projects that demand long periods of time, you have families for which you are responsible, and so on. And without a doubt, you had those years of trying to figure out what to do with your life. So I believe that there might be some good advice you can give me. How are you dealing with busyness? How do you find the balance between uninterrupted daily affairs and your practice?

Thank you.

[Rich]

I think most of society has a compulsive habit to do something. People will do almost anything to avoid facing themselves. And it’s too bad because doing nothing can be a joy. Now I don’t mean we don’t have plans and goals, but when we ‘do’ we need to be aware and just do it. So doing is non doing. And life does us

Sat/lah


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[StoBird]

the important point is to continue the practice even, and especially when, things are not so calm.

.

I recently re-read ‘Opening the Hand of Thought’ by Kōshō Uchiyama and he says “just sit for ten years, then ten more years, then another ten” etc… no matter the circumstances in life, without thought of gain, and gives the example of the cook Fayuan. I highly recommend a reading of that chapter (Seven, “Living Wide Awake”) as it is very inspiring when things get busy in my life.

Gassho
Tom

Sat


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[Suuko]

I have a very busy life which starts at 4.30 in the morning and ends at around 9.30 pm. Yet, everyday there's a 20 minutes session with Zazen, verse of atonement and the 4 vows. It's as important as brushing the teeth or eating.

Gassho,
Sat today,
Lah,
Suuko.

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[Bion]

Nice to see you again, buddy! That’s just adult life, whether a lay person, a career man or a monk. Life is hectic and we get busy, stressed, overwhelmed. I run my own business as well and I can relate to what you describe, which is why I think it matters the depth of one’s dedication and conviction when it comes to practice. I consider practice to be meant for my daily activities and I don’t limit that notion to sitting 30 mins of zazen. I set aside time daily for my sit, the same way I stop to eat at least once a day or go for water. I’d find it terribly difficult to justify to myself not sitting zazen daily. See, for many, zazen is a ceremonial thing, to be done during an allotted time period, in a certain space at a certain moment. That, I find, is a recipe for a sloppy practice in my case, cause life is surprising and unpredictable and “perfect” conditions are not always possible for us to comfortably continue our scheduled zazen. I understood long ago that 2 minutes of zazen are just as much zazen as 15 or 35 minutes are, so the “I couldn’t find time” for it excuse just won’t fly with me. I find that in my case it’s a question of priorities. I prioritize practice above all else, and that for me means: I sit zazen before I start my day and then find other moments during the day to sit some more, whether it is in a park, while riding a bus, while waiting in line at the store etc, I don’t cuss, I vow to try my best to not lie, to be just, to be respectful and kind to everyone etc … Even the way I deal with being overworked or out of work, broke or in debt, tired or impatient, is something I consider deeply important to apply buddhist principles to. So, no.. no separation or division between business, daily life and zen practice. To me, that makes no sense.


Sat Today ( and ranted a lot above, so please excuse the length of that)

[Tomás ESP]

I am in a very similar situation. Thank you for reaching out, I am sure that most people go through these ups and downs in their practice. This is also part of the Way. Recognition, acceptance, loving-kindness, back to practice (even if it's 5 minutes a day). Consistency is key. No need to beat yourself up, you are only human. Much metta to you

P.S: I agree with Suuko on this one, at one point the practice becomes as important as brushing your teeth or taking your meds

Gassho, Tomás
Sat&LaH

[Bokugan]

I have been there before, Dogukan. Definitely do not be hard on yourself! I struggled with being hard on myself over this, but have settled into it differently over time.

I work 40+ hours a week and am in grad school, so I have some very busy and stressful times. I understand all too well what you describe.

I always aim to sit a half hour a day, but does it always happen? Nope. Most days I do, but there are times I just squeeze in a 10, 15, or 20 minute sit.

Sometimes, on rare jam packed days when I have missed a sit, I just take time at my altar to gassho and pause for a few minutes as I am preparing for bed.

Anyway, in my opinion daily practice is important. Longer routine sits are important as well. However, there is nothing wrong with doing what you can when you can, even if just for a few minutes. Practice opportunities happen off the cushion, too

Sorry that was so long!

Gassho,

Bokugan
SatToday

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[Kakunen]

Hi

When I am at busy.

Try to wake up early as you can do.And after wash face,and sit Zazen.No internet at morning.
And take breakfast slowly.And take a rest and start working.

Take a rest at working time,and keep some conditions,breathing,posture.

And will sleep early.

あなたは忙しくても急ぐよりもゆっくり過ごすほうが、結果として早く仕事は終わります。

私は日本で僧侶ですが、もともとエリートでしたから、このことは確信していうことができます。
I worked at here.
https://www.ntt.com/en/index

Gassho
Sat today
LAH
kakunen

[Kokuu]

Hi Dogukan

Good to hear from you!

I think you are definitely not alone on this one! As Bogukan says, sometimes we miss a sit or two because we just cannot fit it in during the day, or it is more important to prioritise sleeping or eating, but mostly we can find time to sit, even if it is a truncated sit. If 30 minutes is too long, consider sitting for 20 minutes or 15, just to keep practice going during a particularly tough time, of which coming to the end of university studies is inevitably going to be.

In a more Zenny context, there is an interesting koan called The One Who Is Not Busy: https://www.ordinarymind.com/talks/4...oon-in-the-sky

Gassho
Kokuu
-sattoday-

[Heiso]

Hi Dogukan

This seems a very Treeleafy issue, I'm sure everyone here faces the same issue in different ways. I remember when I first had kids having to come to terms with the fact even that even those precious moments I'd carved out of the day to myself, usually in the early morning, would never be reliably only mine again - Kokuu gave me a great piece of advice at that time which I still think of today - that when things get really hectic, the trick is to find those fleeting moments of stillness among all the chaos and really sit and savour them.

Sorry for running long.

Gassho,

Heiso

StLah

[Dogukan]

Thank you all. Your time and willingness to help mean a great deal to me. After reading what you wrote, my hope and courage increased. It feels really good to be in such a helpful and understanding sangha. I'll try my best to consider your pieces of advice. I hope I can implement them in my life no matter how busy I am. Metta to modern people

Gassho,
Doğukan.
Sat.

[Ippo]

Thank you all. Your time and willingness to help mean a great deal to me. After reading what you wrote, my hope and courage increased. It feels really good to be in such a helpful and understanding sangha. I'll try my best to consider your pieces of advice. I hope I can implement them in my life no matter how busy I am. Metta to modern people

Gassho,
Doğukan.
Sat.

Hey Dogukan,

It's Buddha, Dharma and SANGHA for a reason. We (including me) cannot walk this path alone. As the years have gone by, more and more, EVERYTHING has become my practice.

Work, business, terror, gloabl moves, deaths, breakups, betrayal, lust, etc. I have learned to practice through so many intense emotions and realized they too are just part of the whole as well; empty in their nature and not here to stay. I think, accepting that there is always "imperfection" is the way we expand. Just by letting the moment be the moment (even when it doesn't feel good). Getting side tracked isn't just 'part of the path', it IS the path and we can greet it with self-compassion, tolerance and non-judgment. Learn, grow and keep moving just as life does.

Yes, my daily sitting practice is strong, but of course has "waxed and waned" But yet, here I still am. Here you still are. This is your path, my friend .

As each moment arises, we have the chance to begin anew.

Gasho

Ippo

SatToday

[Kaishin]

Hi

When I am at busy.

Try to wake up early as you can do.And after wash face,and sit Zazen.No internet at morning.

Good practical advice! Especially the phone part--don't touch it until you've finished sitting. For me, I know I must sit first thing in the morning, or it's not going to happen. I get too carried away with the busyness of the day, and the later it gets the more likely I am to make excuses to not sit.

So, if you haven't tried early morning sitting, give it a shot!

-stlah

[Jundo]

There are times to sit long, times to sit short, but always sit ... whether long or short ... beyond measures of time.

Give up thought that one is a failure if sometimes one must sit less than usual, but still sit even if for a moment.

Each moment embodies all time, so sometimes we sit for minutes, sometimes for days. If you need, some days sit for a minute! When you get a chance, even try long week retreats! But we always practice so ... both long and short ... to experience that every instant of Zazen is beyond all measure.

Also, even when off the cushion, bring the mind of Zazen into all life's daily tasks and troubles, including studies and work and busyness. Don't forget our "Insta-Zazen" ...

https://www.treeleaf.org/forums/show...nners-%2813%29

Very simple.

Gassho, J

STLah

[Shinshi]

You have received great advice already, I will just add - don't overthink it. Don't get caught up in evaluating your Zazen. Was it good enough, was it long enough, was it often enough. To borrow from Nike: Just do it. It doesn't have be to on the cushion, it doesn't have to be done in a space with ritual. Even when you are busy carve out a moment. I have done Zazen waiting in the Dr.s office, sitting at a stop light, Just do it completely - as you can in the space you can find.

Gassho, Shinshi

SaT-LaH

[Jundo]

Shinshi

[Tokan]

Hey Dogukan

I work full-time with random shifts and on-call duties, have three young children, and support my wife by sacrificing my 'me' time so she can get some for herself, leaving me little in the kitty some days. I do two things - one is just to sit regardless, sit with that compulsive need to do something (isn't zazen doing something?) My wife tells me I'm doing nothing, I like to think I'm neither doing something or nothing, but I usually say I and "doing nothing on purpose!" The second thing for me is to not be confined to zazen. Sometimes my practice feels just as vital when I am making food for my children, picking up their toys, taking out the trash, washing the dishes, and so on. When I include these things into my practice I sometimes also find that, once completed, I can then sit quite naturally, as it is important to attend to the daily needs of life. It would not be very ethical, at least in my mind, to let the children be hungry while I sit zazen, after all, my essential peace will only be disturbed by their 'hangry' mood afterwards

Jundo mentioned in his comment about 'insta-zazen', and that is something I also use. Sitting one 30 minute zazen is good, but 15 two minute mini-zazen's through the day also have their value. I know Jundo compares zen practice to jazz music at times, having rules that allow plenty of space for creativity and self-expression, I have found it helpful to look at it this way, it seems to allow a more natural and relaxed flow to my practice when it is about more than the zafu!

Best wishes and gassho

Tokan (satlah)