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Thread: Challenge or Accept?

  1. #1

    Challenge or Accept?

    Has anyone discovered that a friend (or perhaps someone that has a leading role in a Buddhist group/organisation), seems to be leading others towards harm, or towards a life that is opposite to our precepts?

    If you choose not to intervene, choose not to attempt to stop the wrongs being done, does that make you almost as bad - complicit?

    But challenging them could be fraught with problems.

    What did you do?

    How did it work out?



    I am sorry for writing longer than three sentences.

    Bows

    Seiko
    stlah
    Last edited by Seiko; 09-10-2021 at 07:29 AM.
    清 Sei (Pure)
    光 Ko (Light)

    My street name is 'Al'.

    Great support can be gained by sitting quietly amongst friends.

  2. #2
    First, I hope it is not HERE?!!

    Second, delicately, diplomatically, try to get the message into your friend's head about what is going on in your view. I think that it is necessary to take some steps if we see harm being done to people. We have a Precept against criticizing other Buddhists, but I do not feel that it includes constructive criticisms meant to stop harm. On the other hand, we can only go so far to make an adult friend listen to our advice.

    Gassho, J

    STLah
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

  3. #3
    I think first thing to do is approach that person directly and speak your mind. It is our first responsibility. Secondly, if their acts are against the law or they are under any kind of authority/supervision, go to the authorities or their “superior” and express your concern. We look out for the wellbeing of ALL, so both the victims and the perpetrators.. which means, we take whatever measures we can to stop harm from being done, but we refrain from bashing the perpetrators publicly or accusing them publicly of things before the appropriate steps have been taken to help them take responsibility. The main thing is to act out of kindness and compassion, and not out of blind anger or outrage.

    SatToday ( I apologize for the length of this)
    Bion
    美音

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  4. #4
    Hi Seiko,

    Can I tell a story? Once, the headmaster of our school publicly insulted a teacher in the staff room. Other teachers and heads wrote a letter to the board about his misconduct. I chose not to participate in this as I view this as backstabbing but went to talk to him face to face. I think ethics and in our case precepts are more valuable than friendships or challenging authorities.

    Gassho,
    Sat today,
    Lah,
    Guish.

    Sent from my PAR-LX1M using Tapatalk

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Jundo View Post
    First, I hope it is not HERE?!!

    Second, delicately, diplomatically, try to get the message into your friend's head about what is going on in your view. I think that it is necessary to take some steps if we see harm being done to people. We have a Precept against criticizing other Buddhists, but I do not feel that it includes constructive criticisms meant to stop harm. On the other hand, we can only go so far to make an adult friend listen to our advice.

    Gassho, J

    STLah
    It is not here.


    Seiko
    清 Sei (Pure)
    光 Ko (Light)

    My street name is 'Al'.

    Great support can be gained by sitting quietly amongst friends.

  6. #6
    I'd say try to find a kind way of expressing your issue to your friend. Whether they listen or not is their choice. But sure, definitely speak up. that's what real friends are for. If they get argumentative or don't seem interested in what you have to sya that is not on you. But for me, as a friend I would feel wrong NOT to say something. But i don't think it makes you complicit by not interfering. But for me ,unless I know it's someone who has the wrong attitude about constructive criticism I would always try to talk to them.

    Dave
    SAT/LAH

  7. #7
    Much metta to you as you try to answer this difficult question.



    Tony,
    The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment, to appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now. - Thích Nhất Hạnh

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