Hi Guys,
To tell the truth
, this topic comes up each year as part of our annual Jukai preparations, as we focus on the Precepts (as we phrase it here), "To seek as you can, in this body and life, to refrain from false and malicious speech."
https://www.treeleaf.org/forums/show...n-from-Untruth
There is perhaps a difference between telling a knowing "untruth" and softening a message, or remaining silent, for beneficial reasons. Japanese Buddhist priests cannot almost be totally frank and direct, for Japanese culture has the concepts of "Tatemae" (surface expressions) and "Hone" (real feelings), i.e., the former being the way one says certain things to "soften" the blow and maintain group harmony.
https://japanintercultural.com/free-...e-and-tatemae/
For example, someone in Japan has more of a tendency to say "Let me see" or "It's difficult, but I wonder" or "I think it won't be possible, but I'll try" when asked for a favor (such as being invited someplace) that is actually a rather clear "No". On the other hand, that is really not a "lie" because, well, almost anything is possible. If it is truly impossible, they would make it clear, e.g., "Sorry, but I cannot."
However, really, the concept is hardly unique to Japanese culture, and I have not met anyone who was totally blunt and direct about their real feelings in any culture. It can be a kind of violence, e.g., if I tell someone whose father just died that I don't think he was a nice man and I personally never liked him. (I would hold my tongue, or say something nebulous such as "he was a unique fellow, and many will surely miss him.")
In my case, if my wife has an ugly dress and asks me how it looks ... the answer is obvious for "group harmony" in our house.
I do not term this a lie, but rather, I am bending my opinion and subjective feeling to possibly see my wife's point of view.
As I discuss in the Precepts thread, in the Mahayana traditions, even the Buddha might be said to be an advocate of "white lies" (called "Upaya, Expedient Means") for a good purpose such as to convey a Buddhist message to someone who "can't handle the truth." This is found, not only in the Mahayana Sutras (such as the Lotus Sutra, and its famous story of the father who tries to entice children out of a burning house), but in even the South Asian tradition there are examples, e.g., he softened or changed his messaging depending on his listener.
The Abhaya Sutra lists what a buddha does not say:
What is missing from the list is that which is "known to be untrue, yet which is beneficial," such as telling a suicidal man that there is a box of gold waiting for him if he comes down from a ledge. Note that the Buddha
is NOT quoted as saying that "untrue but beneficial" is prohibited, i.e., he himself stayed silent on that category. I would say that, in such case, the Precept on preserving life overrides this precepts, and I would tell the lie and be willing to take any Karmic weight upon myself for having done so in such a case.
Sorry to run long ... honestly.
Gassho, J
STLah