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Thread: Ever worried because you're not worried?

  1. #1
    Member bayamo's Avatar
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    Ever worried because you're not worried?

    This is really d1ck3d up. I had a really bad week. I lost my favorite rosary. My smartyphone went psycho. I had a "strong" difference of opinion with my girlfriend. Now, 25, 30 years ago I'd be wigging out and be on full Hulk smash, Hulk destroy mode. But, I'm not. I'm just "these things happen" shrug my shoulders and move on. Maybe I only noticed because all this happened so close together, but I'm really concerned that I'm not concerned.
    #sattoday

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    Oh, yeah. If I didn't have inner peace, I'd go completely psycho on all you guys all the time.
    Carl Carlson

  2. #2
    So what's the problem?

    There's an old Woody Allen joke, I think, in which he feels nervous about being too relaxed.

    Gassho, J

    STLah
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by bayamo View Post
    This is really d1ck3d up.
    I'm stealing that; I love it! hahahahahhahhahah

    Gassho

    Risho
    -stlah

  4. #4
    Member bayamo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Risho View Post
    I'm stealing that; I love it! hahahahahhahhahah

    Gassho

    Risho
    -stlah
    Well, I stole it from AJ on The Sopranos, so feel free

    Sent from my SM-G610M using Tapatalk
    Oh, yeah. If I didn't have inner peace, I'd go completely psycho on all you guys all the time.
    Carl Carlson

  5. #5
    It's usually too easy to get worried about stuff that doesn't actually matter, so I actually really appreciate moments where I "should" be worried but I'm not.

    I would take the win.

    Gassho,
    Kenny
    Sat Today

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  6. #6
    Treeleaf Unsui Nengei's Avatar
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    Similarly, I am so accustomed to having my schedule packed from one end to the other that when I don't, I feel nervous because I am not being productive. I suppose that is also having something to worry about vs not.

    Zazen has the side effect of helping me out with both an overloaded schedule and time off.

    Gassho,
    Nengei
    Sat today. LAH.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by bayamo View Post
    This is really d1ck3d up.
    Hmmm. More gentle speech around here please, even if half disguised. Thank you.

    Gassho, J

    STLah
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

  8. #8
    One of the great "rules of thumb" of how Zen Practice is impacting our life is when the "Dharma hits the fan" (** maybe I just did what I asked Bayamo not to do. ), when we are faced with some life disaster, the forest fire that one of our Treeleaf priests faced this week in which she just grabbed the animals and left the house for a time, the cancer diagnosis I had a couple of years ago, the small stuff life traffic jams and unfair situations at work, someone cuts in line in front of us, the political situation in the world seems so ugly, etc. etc. We just don't react the same as before.

    I have told the following story 100 times, so it is okay for the old folks to jump ahead:

    I will leave you with one more story that I like to tell. It is about two flat tires I had years apart, both on rainy days when I was late for an appointment, wearing a nice suit. In the first case, I had only been practicing Zen and Zazen a short time. POP! went the tire, down came the rain, I was soaked and late … and just miserable about it. I hated the tire, I hated the rain, I hated missing my appointment, I hated the busy street and my soaking wet suit. I changed the tire, but I hated myself. I think that I actually kicked the flat tire, stubbing my toe and making myself even more miserable.

    Some years later, almost the same scene: POP! went the tire, down came the rain, I was soaked and late … However, this time, the tire was the tire, and the rain fell like rain. I noticed that the drops were beautiful. I was soaked, but it was a cause to laugh. I was late, but time did not seem so important, and I even sensed a certain timelessness reminding me not to rush through life. The busy street was the one place to be in that moment. I changed the tire, I was content with myself. I remember quite clearly offering a bow of gratitude to the flat tire and the rain.

    In both cases, I was just as soaking wet, just as late. In both cases, I changed the tire and got on my way. In both cases, I missed my appointment, and was not able to reschedule.

    But in one case, it was terrible. And in one case, it was fine, even nice. Beautiful in fact.

    So, I hope you find your switch and learn to use it.
    Gassho, J

    STLah
    Last edited by Jundo; 09-07-2020 at 01:18 AM.
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

  9. #9
    Member Onka's Avatar
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    Rural Queensland, so-called Australia
    I get worried when I stop laughing at myself, others and the world in general. If I stop laughing then I'm taking everything too seriously especially the serious stuff.
    Gassho
    Onka
    ST
    穏 On (Calm)
    火 Ka (Fires)
    They/She.

  10. #10
    Member bayamo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jundo View Post
    Hmmm. More gentle speech around here please, even if half disguised. Thank you.

    Gassho, J

    STLah
    Sorry... I have a potty mouth and I really do try to keep it under control. Noted and I'll be mindful of this in the future.

    Sent from my SM-G610M using Tapatalk
    Oh, yeah. If I didn't have inner peace, I'd go completely psycho on all you guys all the time.
    Carl Carlson

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by bayamo View Post
    Sorry... I have a potty mouth and I really do try to keep it under control. Noted and I'll be mindful of this in the future.

    Sent from my SM-G610M using Tapatalk
    I apologize as well for being a bit too cavalier in my enthusiasm; my wife asked me to guve up my “colorful metaphors” for ango, which I will.

    gassho

    rish

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Risho View Post
    I apologize as well for being a bit too cavalier in my enthusiasm; my wife asked me to guve up my “colorful metaphors” for ango, which I will.

    gassho

    rish
    Is the term "colorful metaphor" from the Star Trek IV movie by any chance?

    Gassho,
    Jakuden
    SatToday

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by bayamo View Post
    This is really d1ck3d up. I had a really bad week. I lost my favorite rosary. My smartyphone went psycho. I had a "strong" difference of opinion with my girlfriend. Now, 25, 30 years ago I'd be wigging out and be on full Hulk smash, Hulk destroy mode. But, I'm not. I'm just "these things happen" shrug my shoulders and move on. Maybe I only noticed because all this happened so close together, but I'm really concerned that I'm not concerned.
    #sattoday

    Sent from my SM-G610M using Tapatalk
    Hello Bayamo,
    It's quite natural that novel things wear out: after some time, things are not so novel anymore; after even more time, these are pretty worn out and after endless kalpas you will not even notice that some things used to exist (for you) .

    On the different note - did you just create an extra worry about not worrying right now?

    Gassho,
    eva
    sattoday and also LAH

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Jakuden View Post
    Is the term "colorful metaphor" from the Star Trek IV movie by any chance?

    Gassho,
    Jakuden
    SatToday
    guilty as charged; i was going to put a reference but i wanted to see if their were any fellow trek nerds out there hahaha

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Risho View Post
    guilty as charged; i was going to put a reference but i wanted to see if their were any fellow trek nerds out there hahaha
    Thank you. I had forgotten that reference.

    Gassho

    Hobun

    Sat

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  16. #16
    I have been worried about not being worried, as you describe, but only because the landscape is so strange from the lands I used to travel. A month ago, I became interim dean at the university where I teach, a job I did seven years ago. Then, every day was a rollercoaster of anxiety, emotion, and fear, but now, despite dealing with a a pandemic, a budget crisis, and the aftermath of a hurricane, I've been performing my job (so far) with clarity and (gasp) joy because I see my role as being a caretaker of the students and the faculty more than being a top-notch, go-get-em administrator out to set all manner of things "right." Zen Buddhist practice and becoming sober--which are not two in my life--are literally the only differences. The worry comes when I desire to remain in a state of non-worry, so when I catch myself doing this, I chuckle a little bit and remind myself that this state of non-worry will not last. Thanks to Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. (Sorry I ran a bit long.)

    Gassho,

    Hobun

    STLAH



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  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Joseph View Post
    ... The worry comes when I desire to remain in a state of non-worry, so when I catch myself doing this, I chuckle a little bit and remind myself that this state of non-worry will not last. Thanks to Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. (Sorry I ran a bit long.)
    This is so very very important: For some reason, the idealized notion developed in Buddhism that a Buddha is beyond all worry forever, bar none, never a problem or fear, forever, completely, not one drop. I do not believe that possible for a human being, because our animal brains are hardwired to sometimes worry, to be afraid and stressed.

    However, there is a big difference between being a bit worried, stressed and afraid while being even more stressed about being a bit worried, stressed and afraid ...

    versus

    ... being a bit worried, stressed and afraid while not so entangled in it, letting it all boil over, not allowing it to flood and strangle one, not wallowing, not exploding, and instead just letting a bit of worry, stress or fear be a moment of natural worry, stress or fear.

    Further, even when a bit worried, stressed and afraid, the Zen student can SIMULTANEOUSLY encounter the realm of wholeness where there is no worry, stress and fear from the beginningless beginning, not even one drop, thus encountering the world both ways as one: worry-free-of-all-worry, stress-and-stressless, fear-with-nothing-to-fear-or-be-feared, all at once. In the flowing wholeness of "emptiness" there is no separate thing to worry about, no separate worrier to worry.

    (Sorry, three sentences?)

    Gassho, J

    STLah

    PS - Even Spock is, sometimes ... well, not "worried," but "logically concerned"

    Last edited by Jundo; 09-08-2020 at 10:40 PM.
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Jundo View Post
    However, there is a big difference between being a bit worried, stressed and afraid while being even more stressed about being a bit worried, stressed and afraid ...

    versus

    ... being a bit worried, stressed and afraid while not so entangled in it, letting it all boil over, not allowing it to flood and strangle one, not wallowing, not exploding, and instead just letting a bit of worry, stress or fear be a moment of natural worry, stress or fear.

    Further, even when a bit worried, stressed and afraid, the Zen student can SIMULTANEOUSLY encounter the realm of wholeness where there is no worry, stress and fear from the beginningless beginning, not even one drop, thus encountering the world both ways as one: worry-free-of-all-worry, stress-and-stressless, fear-with-nothing-to-fear-or-be-feared, all at once. In the flowing wholeness of "emptiness" there is no separate thing to worry about, no separate worrier to worry.
    Jundo,

    Often, even when I'm having a hard time, I know there is one who is not having a hard time. (Thank you, Yunyan.) I usually find this "one" in a breath or in objects being objects or some other pure instance of being. Despite how it might sound when I say it, it's really surprisingly ordinary, the commonplace unfolding of the teachings after years of listening to them closely--and not quite getting it.

    Live long and gassho,

    Hobun

    STLAH

    P. S. Thank you for your teaching.
    Last edited by Jundo; 09-08-2020 at 10:41 PM.

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Joseph View Post
    Jundo,

    Often, even when I'm having a hard time, I know there is one who is not having a hard time. (Thank you, Yunyan.) I usually find this "one" in a breath or in objects being objects or some other pure instance of being. Despite how it might sound when I say it, it's really surprisingly ordinary, the commonplace unfolding of the teachings after years of listening to them closely--and not quite getting it.

    Live long and gassho,

    Hobun

    STLAH

    P. S. Thank you for your teaching.
    Thank you. And I actually fixed some of the weird grammar in what I wrote so that it makes more sense now! Very stressful.

    Gassho, J

    STLah
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Onka View Post
    I get worried when I stop laughing at myself, others and the world in general. If I stop laughing then I'm taking everything too seriously especially the serious stuff.
    Gassho
    Onka
    ST
    Yup. When times are hard I may notice a certain inside giggle and the will to be sarcastic, I know then that I will be fine. If one day I won't find that inside giggle and sarcasm, I would be very preoccupied.

    Gassho,
    Mags
    ST

  21. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Joseph View Post
    I chuckle a little bit and remind myself that this state of non-worry will not last.
    Yes the attachment to “yay me, I have such equanimity now” happens fast... until that bubble bursts and we realize that there is always some circumstance out there that can send us back into samsara.

    Gratitude for your Bodhisattva work taking care of our precious students

    Gassho
    Jakuden
    SatToday



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  22. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Jakuden View Post
    Yes the attachment to “yay me, I have such equanimity now” happens fast... until that bubble bursts and we realize that there is always some circumstance out there that can send us back into samsara.

    Gratitude for your Bodhisattva work taking care of our precious students

    Gassho
    Jakuden
    SatToday



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
    Jakuden this made me laugh so hard (at my Self)
    Thank you so much <3

    Gassho,
    eva
    sattoday

  23. #23

    Ever worried because you're not worried?

    Onka I don’t laugh! We must hang together. As a senior I’m most concerned about my family in California where my cousins and 88-yr old Aunt in Fresno, where National Frosts face destruction then my 90 year old father in fires as the Sierra Nevada Mountains are a tinder box and Rocky Mountains in powerful snow storm is this finally global warming coming to haunt families. My wife’s family in Colorado thinking of moving out of the mountains. Is this like Australia? My friend, you are hardly laughable!
    Gassho
    Deep bows
    sat / lah
    Tai Shi
    Sorry Jundo. I must come to defense of my friend!!!! We are disabled and HARDLY laughable.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Peaceful Poet, Tai Shi. Ubasoku; calm, supportive, limited to positive 優婆塞 台 婆

  24. #24
    Member Onka's Avatar
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tai Shi View Post
    Onka I don’t laugh! We must hang together. As a senior I’m most concerned about my family in California where my cousins and 88-yr old Aunt in Fresno, where National Frosts face destruction then my 90 year old father in fires as the Sierra Nevada Mountains are a tinder box and Rocky Mountains in powerful snow storm is this finally global warming coming to haunt families. My wife’s family in Colorado thinking of moving out of the mountains. Is this like Australia? My friend, you are hardly laughable!
    Gassho
    Deep bows
    sat / lah
    Tai Shi
    Sorry Jundo. I must come to defense of my friend!!!! We are disabled and HARDLY laughable.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Thank you my friend. Laughing at myself is an act of humility. I'm just as ridiculous as anyone else. I hope your family and all others stay safe in the face of danger.
    Gassho
    Onka
    ST
    I acknowledge I went over 3 sentences. I always endeavour to do and be better.
    穏 On (Calm)
    火 Ka (Fires)
    They/She.

  25. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by Jakuden View Post

    Gratitude for your Bodhisattva work taking care of our precious students


    Sent from my SM-N975U using Tapatalk

  26. #26

    Ever worried because you're not worried?

    Hi Onka, although I remain active on the Zendo, were it not for the easy lay of the land, I could not be a member of Treeleaf. Gassho, sat/ lah


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Peaceful Poet, Tai Shi. Ubasoku; calm, supportive, limited to positive 優婆塞 台 婆

  27. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by Jundo View Post
    One of the great "rules of thumb" of how Zen Practice is impacting our life is when the "Dharma hits the fan" (** maybe I just did what I asked Bayamo not to do. ), when we are faced with some life disaster, the forest fire that one of our Treeleaf priests faced this week in which she just grabbed the animals and left the house for a time, the cancer diagnosis I had a couple of years ago, the small stuff life traffic jams and unfair situations at work, someone cuts in line in front of us, the political situation in the world seems so ugly, etc. etc. We just don't react the same as before.

    I have told the following story 100 times, so it is okay for the old folks to jump ahead:



    Gassho, J

    STLah
    Reminds me of this gem of a quote apparently from mideaval rabbi scholar Rashi and used in the intro to the Coen Brothers great film A Serious Man’:

    “Accept with simplicity everything that happens to you”
    Last edited by StoBird; 09-25-2020 at 04:52 AM.

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