Comrades
I've been in a funk with my practice.
I've been still getting up before or at 5am every day and do shikantaza for at least 10 minutes but lately it feels like a chore rather than a thing I look forward to.
Furthermore I allowed other aspects of my daily practice to slip.
My reciting of the four vows, verse of atonement and heart sutra every morning had slipped, daily reading has halted and my love affair with my rakusu had dissipated/evolved.
I'm sure there are many factors contributing to this but they can all be lumped under the title LIFE.
Of course I started sitting primarily to become better at living with pain and other life stuff but reconnection with my self/non-self has been what has kept me motivated.
So comrades, how can I shake this funk when it happens or how have you shaken yourself from this kind of feeling?
This morning's sitting I recited the robe verse, put on my rakusu and chanted the heart sutra and it did feel like I had indeed adorned the Tatathaga's teachings again. My shikantaza was 20 minutes albeit an undisciplined and frustrated 20 minutes but it kinda sorta felt like I had kicked the funk in the guts enough for me to move forward.
In some ways this could be posted in the Zazen without a teacher thread as my Zoom connection to sitting live with you all two way has been problematic and it keeps dropping out. I didn't think it was a big deal as I could always sit with you later via YouTube but it has had an impact. For me.
I like sitting live as we commonly understand live to be. I like seeing my guiding friend along the way Jundo and my sangha sisters and brothers and like that this in itself is a radical act of solidarity with folk from all around the world.
Anyway, I'll keep you posted with how I'm travellin' but am interested in other people's experience.
Gassho
Anna
sat today

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