Death of a Child

[Shinshou]

The young man I wrote about earlier had his funeral today. He was six years old. The minister made the observation that some questions are used to gain an answer, but some, like the questions surrounding the death of a child, are used to gain an internalized meaning, a context, rather than an answer. It reminded me of koan work, which I know Soto rarely uses. But also made me wonder, what other difficult situations are their own koans, not there for figuring out, but instead for investigating context, attitudes, assumptions, and finally, meaning (or lack of)? Can life be a big koan, not there for figuring out, but for internalizing and holding close to your bones, and then, when the time is right, for letting go?

It was a beautiful service. A friend and I did a black gospel tune, and the chapel was filled with children’s art, legos, and crafts.

Thank you all for the metta sent to this family.

Dan
Sat today/lah


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[Jundo]

The young man I wrote about earlier had his funeral today. He was six years old. The minister made the observation that some questions are used to gain an answer, but some, like the questions surrounding the death of a child, are used to gain an internalized meaning, a context, rather than an answer. It reminded me of koan work, which I know Soto rarely uses. BIt also made me wonder, what other difficult situations are their own koans, not there for figuring out, but instead for investigating context, attitudes, assumptions, and finally, meaning (or lack of)? Can life be a big koan, not there for figuring out, but for internalizing and holding close to your bones, and then, when the time is right, for letting go?

It was a beautiful service. A friend and I did a black gospel tune, and the chapel was filled with children’s art, legos, and crafts.

Thank you all for the metta sent to this family.

Dan
Sat today/lah


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We will continue to sit our Zazen, and offer Metta, for this family and child.

When my wife and I were hospice volunteers before coming to Japan, the illness and death of children was so hard. The adult patients, well, once could say that they had had their time. But children have not had such chance.

I can only say that it was much more common just 100 years ago in the West, and the death of young children remains widespread in much of this world. My grandmothers in our family lost children. It is, fortunately, something more far removed from us.

The Japanese have a tale which they tell themselves, that children are not fully in their earthly bodies, that finding a home there takes times. If the fit is wrong, sometimes they must return to the other world to try again. A simple story, but I find such understanding helpful in pointing to some higher truth of who we are.

I tend to discount traditional beliefs in Karma and past lives as the blame, but I do turn to the ancient story of the mustard seed ... Buddha never found a way to escape death. Better said, he saw beyond death in a way, but he never found an escape from death in this body.

When her son died just a few years into his life, Kisa Gotami went mad with grief. A wise person saw her condition and told her to find the Buddha, who had the medicine she needed. Kisa Gotami went to the Buddha, and asked him to give her the medicine that would restore her dead child to life. The Buddha told her to go out and find a mustard seed from a house where nobody had died. Kisa Gotami was heartened, and began her search, going door to door. Everyone was willing to give her a mustard seed, but every household she encountered had seen at least one death. She understood why the Buddha had sent her on this quest. She returned to the Buddha, who confirmed what she had realized: "There is no house where death does not come."
The Buddha saw through death, we can see through death to that which is never born and never dies ... and yet, "There is no house where death does not come." This is the Koan. We sit.

I will continue to sit for this family and those who are ill. I will continue to believe in my heart that, in some way, this child will return and have another chance.

Gassho, J

SatTodayLAH

[Mp]

Hello Dan,

I will dedicate my sit during zazenkai tonight to the family of this little boy. May they be at peace, may they be free from suffering.

Gassho
Shingen

Sat/LAH

[Jundo]

I found what I wished to post ...

Now, the Japanese are no strangers to this, far from it, and have a beautiful and powerful traditional perspective ... all in its time. Although perhaps a folk belief, I feel it captures something true that is beyond all simple description about nature and life.

I know in my heart that some lives which touch the world are not a matter of long or short, big or small, wide or narrow ...

The Japanese believe that some children who try to come into the world do not stay because the time or conditions were not right. They believe that unborn children ... even those in the early days or months ... are half-way between this world and another, not fully of our world yet. They also believe that children who do not make it to birth or such simply go back and wait for another time, and will have another chance, when conditions are right. I feel that story captures something true about being born, even if hard to express. So many face this, that they place statues of Jizo in temples to represent such children, asking Jizo to tend to them in the other world. Thus, in any Japanese temple one comes along scenes such as these ... a sea of Bodhisattva Jizo nurturing children, or as a child himself given warm clothes and toys.

Our Zazen and Heart Sutra on Saturday is for this child, the child's family, and all families who are so.

Gassho, J

We have just such a Jizo holding Children on the altar in the Zendo and some other places around here. If I may, we will dedicate our Sitting and Chanting this week to those children, to all children and to their entire family.

One things I am very certain of: There are other children to love and love you in your family's future.

Gassho, J

SatTodayLAH

[Shinshou]

Beautiful, Jundo, thank you.

Dan
Sat today/lah


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[Troy]

Metta to this family and to you Daniel.


Sat2day

[Souchi]

It saddens my heart. Much Metta to all families suffering in this way and to you, Daniel.

Gassho,
Stefan

SatToday

[Byokan]

... Can life be a big koan, not there for figuring out, but for internalizing and holding close to your bones, and then, when the time is right, for letting go?

Deep bows. Metta for all. Wishing peace for aching hearts.

Gassho
Byōkan
sat + lah

[Meitou]

Metta to you and the family concerned, may they find peace.
Gassho
Frankie
Satwithyoualltoday /lah

[Joyo]

I have no words, just sitting and thoughts of peace to all those who are suffering from the lose of this child. This is so sad.

Gassho,
Joyo
sat today/lah

[Kakunen]

I went to temple and pray for them.

Sorry I have less time now.
So I am sorry when this message is wrong.

My younger brothers sleep there.We are always together.Gassho.

Sat today.


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[Gokai]

Hello everyone
There are no words to describe what a parent feels when a child dies.
This subject has always made me think a lot, how can it be possible to endure suffering of this size? A cousin of mine saw her son die in a car accident. It's been about fifteen years, and the depression in which it has entered remains the same.
I will sit for all children and all families suffering with this problem.
Metta to everyone.
Gassho, Gokai
Sattoday/LAH

[Tai Shi]

Today the initial citation made me cry. Only 5 mo into my sobriety I read WEST RUNNING BROOK by Robert Frost at the funeral of a five-year-old. I did not cry then, and I did not understand, and I don't understand today.

Tai Shi
sat today
Gassho