Seeking advice for maintaining a practice through injury

[pdharness]

Hi everyone! I am hoping someone here has dealt with long-term injuries/chronic pain and can give me some advice on how to maintain a zazen practice. Long story short, I was injured pretty badly on March 7th last year and I have been dealing with surgeries and recovery with my last and final surgery at the end of Feb this year. I was was doing pretty well at maintaining a zazen practice for a while, up until this last surgery. This one was to reconstruct the arches in one of my feet and it has sucked! I have been on pain meds that make me out of it and I have to keep my foot elevated all day. I am having trouble right now finding the motivation and will to meditate right now. I was blaming the fact that I can't sit at my alter on my zafu or seiza bench, but that is just a crap excuse and I know it.

Has anyone else worked through something like this before, if so what helped get you back on the wagon?


Gassho _/\_

Paul

[Rich]

Hi everyone! I am hoping someone here has dealt with long-term injuries/chronic pain and can give me some advice on how to maintain a zazen practice. Long story short, I was injured pretty badly on March 7th last year and I have been dealing with surgeries and recovery with my last and final surgery at the end of Feb this year. I was was doing pretty well at maintaining a zazen practice for a while, up until this last surgery. This one was to reconstruct the arches in one of my feet and it has sucked! I have been on pain meds that make me out of it and I have to keep my foot elevated all day. I am having trouble right now finding the motivation and will to meditate right now. I was blaming the fact that I can't sit at my alter on my zafu or seiza bench, but that is just a crap excuse and I know it.

Has anyone else worked through something like this before, if so what helped get you back on the wagon?


Gassho _/\_

Paul

Very sorry about your injuries. Have encountered athletic injuries and at one point had to meditate lying on my right side. The tendency is to fall asleep so you have to keep cool and have fresh air.
Maybe you recover quickly.

SAT today

Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk

[Mp]

Hello Paul,

First off, I am sorry for your struggles, I hope you recover quickly and get back to some normalcy in life.

In the meantime in regards to your sitting what is it in your mind that is blocking you or un-motivating you? Sometimes the simplest solution is to do what you are avoiding and just sit, even for a short while. It doesn't need to be on your zafu or seiza bench, it can be in a chair with your foot elevated. Just be present and engaged with your sitting. I have sat with injury before and yes it does suck, but it sounds like this might be more your mind then your injury. So again, the best course of action is to just do it, break through the mind theatre of why you can't or should not be sitting ... start small and work your way up, this way you are starting and completing what you have set out to do - in essence, you are changing your minds behaviour.

Gassho
Shingen

s@today

[Geika]

Hello, Paul,

There are a lot of people here who have been maintaining practice through injuries, illness, and disability. I'm sure they will chime in!

Gassho, sat today

[Jishin]

IMG_0790.JPG

Just sit and relax.

My two cents.

Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_

[Shoka]

Paul,

I shouldn't be so excited to reply to your post, but you said:

Has anyone else worked through something like this before, if so what helped get you back on the wagon?

And my hand almost shot in the air waving around like Me!! Me! Oh this is so what I do.

The short story for me is ongoing health issues. Bad days can put me off from doing almost anything. I'm not feeling well, I can't, it doesn't feel good, it will be better to sit on the couch and just relax than (insert whatever). Then the task, whatever it was, starts to become this unattainable thing. I hadn't done it or had been putting it off for so long that it feels almost impossible to do it. And the longer it goes the worse I feel about not having done it, and the more I feel I should do it right when I do start again. And on goes the reasons to not do it.

I had a very smart friend put an end to this for me. I was complaining about not having done yoga in weeks. She quickly replied, "Ok, now right now do yoga, sit up straight, ground your feet and take a deep breath.... I'lll wait. See you did yoga. Now tomorrow do it again." And she was right, I had built it to be a task that needed to be an hour long session, roll out the mat (which meant cleaning up first), pull out the props, find a video... etc. etc. And it wasn't that at all.

I do the same thing with zazen at times. If I fall off the wagon and start to make excuses as to why I can't. Then I stop right there, sit where ever I am and do zazen. It might be on the couch right before going to bed, in the car before I walk into work. But I make the effort at the moment when I'm beating myself up for not doing it (and making it an insurmountable task), to do it right then. Strip it down to the bare essentials.

So I'll challenge you, like my friend did to me. Take a moment right now, where ever you are sitting (unless you are driving, which seems like a really bad time to read forums), sit a little more upright if possible and take a moment of zazen.


Congrats!! You are back on the wagon.

From there I set my idea of what zazen should be really low. I sit where and when I can, for however long or short. If you are on insight timer don't be surprised to see Shoka just finished meditating for a minute. It seems crazy, but somedays that is it, just a moment.

Hopefully that helps. I know there are others on the forums who will chime in on suggestions for sitting with the injury.

Gassho,

Shoka
sattoday

[Jundo]

First, Paul, I will Sit and offer Metta for your healing.

I just "ditto" what all the wise folks above have said.

Zazen is NOT just sitting on a cushion or bench, looking at a wall. I am reading right now a book that many of the "Greats" of the Tang and Song Dynasties, and folks like Bankei and even Dogen in Japan, may have actually felt that Zazen "off the cushion" was as or more vital than sitting.They emphasized the wider life of "Zazen" in its widest meaning in all of daily life. Stuck in bed with your throbbing foot in the air, worried about disability, angry at fate, a little fearful for the future and feeling the general sometimes "suckiness" of it all ...

... if right then and there one can manage to leave aside the judgments and comparisons of "sickness vs. health", thoughts of past and future and what would be "better" or "should be" ... if right there, with you throbbing leg in the air one can manage a little equanimity and allowing even for a few minutes ... then do you know what to call that? WONDERFUL POWERFUL Zazen! And it is not a matter whether the feet are crossed in the full lotus or hanging from a sling.

This video is the closest I could come to describing how to sit with chronic pain. I know that other folks above, like Shoka and Rich for many years, do (I have been in the room with Rich on the last U.S. visit when he assumed his 'Lion Pose' Zazen lying on his side. He was part of the inspiration for this video. Not sure if I ever told him that. ).

- Zazen for Beginners (17) - Sitting With Pain & Illness
http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showt...nners-%2817%29

Gassho, J

SatToday

[Geika]

Shoka, I know what you mean. I used to really put things off because of how I had built them up as an activity-- things like yoga or any kind of fitness, taking a walk, zazen, chanting, cleaning... I finally realized that you can do anything you intend to do if you JUST DO IT, with nothing extra added on to help you make excuses.

Gassho, sat today

[pdharness]

Thanks everyone for the time, ideas, and encouragement. Shoka, your friend is very smart.

Gassho,

Paul
Sat today

Sent from my SM-G920P using Tapatalk

[Rich]

I like Shokas post. Just be, just do it, now.

Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk

[Kokuu]

Hi Paul

I am sorry to hear you are in this position. This is something I have faced as well.

For the past two years I have been pretty much confined to bed with chronic illness and even before that had periods where I could not sit on the zafu in the conventional way.

My ways of dealing this are multiple:

1. When I can sit on the zafu (such as today!) I sit for a shorter period than I did previously and have immense gratitude that I can. Even then, if I find I am unable to continue at any point, I stop, with no quibbles or heroic fighting through.

2. When I am unable to sit on the zafu I meditate lying down. Personally, I find shikantaza (or whatever the translation of 'just laying' is!) too hard lying down since my mind wanders far more lying down than sitting. So, instead I practice breath awareness meditation.

3. Other times are good for impromptu practice such as mindfully going around the body or the Tibetan tonglen (taking and sending) practice which involves breathing in the pain of others and breathing out peace and joy to them.

4. I find that the opportunity to set an intention for the day is a good thing. Just going for refuge, lighting incense and/or bowing to a Buddha statue/image can help set an intention for practice during the day. Later in the day, such as the evening, can be a good time to recite the metta verses.

Anyway, these are things that help me. I also find that if I can't read then listening to dharma teachings on podcast can be good. Also, just listening with the weekly and monthly zazenkai without being an active participant so much or truncating my activity such as not doing the physical bowing or kinhin.

Deep bows for your practice
Kokuu
-sattoday-

[Kyonin]

Hi Paul,

Zazen practice can be hard to practice when in pain because of a lot of things, mostly because one resists to practice because one feels like crap! I know this because last year I was in deep dental pain due to a treatment I had to had. Pain was constant and in crecendo by the day.

However, I sat with discipline 2 times a day. It all went pretty well to the point that when sitting zazen it was hard to find the pain at all. It was there, but hard to find. This game me the calm and peace to just surf the pain.

I live with my girlfriend. She has fybromialgya, a chronic pain condition. She has some terrible days, others pain is low... but always there.

We have been sitting zazen together for a year now and she reports that pain killers doesn't work as well as zazen!! Problem is she often prefers Facebook over sitting 20 minutes.

So with that said... zazen is a great help for pain BUT IT'S NOT A REPLACEMENT FOR PROPER TREATMENT. Follow doctor's orders, take your medicine and sit zazen.

Remember this: you are not the pain. Pain is just a condition among many others... and it will go away.

Hope everything goes better.

Gassho,

Kyonin
SatToday

[Jishin]

Hi,

Pain is a condition that goes away. Unless you get kicked in the balls. Then it does not go away until it does.

If it hurts, don't do it.

My 2 cents.

Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_

[Kokuu]

"Pain is a condition that goes away"

Sadly, not always, Jishin. Many people experience chronic, unremitting pain.

It is a pretty visceral reminder of samsara.

Deep bows
Kokuu
-sattoday_

[Meian]

I'm coming to this thread late, but as another voice with chronic pain/illness agrees - just do it, for whatever length of time you can manage. I do short amounts at a time, and i keep it simple - one moment at a time. Great advice given in this thread already ♡♡

Gassho
Kim
Sat today with a flare-up

Sent from my SM-G900P using Tapatalk

[Kaishin]

Hi There,

I don't have any advice, but wanted to say that I can sympathize. I had major surgery that made sitting impossible for months. I tried my best to "sit" in bed, or laying on the floor, but couldn't get settled like I could previous.

Eventually, I became ao frustrated that I stopped trying. I did no zazen for months and started to wonder if I'd lapse in my Zen practice forever.

Maybe I needed the break for some perspective. But I started again. I guess I've been on this path long enough now that I can't overcome its momentum for too long.

Anyway, I still can't sit like I used to, in what I thought was the "best" way (due to neuropathy and scar tissue). So, I sit another way, and really, it's fine.

So don't feel bad if you get frustrated, and stop, or "sit" differently, or less frequently, etc. No help adding guilt on top of the physical ailment.

We're always here for support. Take care of yourself!

-satToday