So I tried for the second time to participate in Ango and Jukai, and just like last year I feel I simply failed.
I'm a journalist in Brussels, Belgium, and I could say the reason I failed is because I worked very hard covering the terror attacks and terror scare, and covering so many other stuff along the way.
But then again I've always been hard working, so maybe the excuse is not that very valid as it's finally a personal choice.
However, I stand by my choice. Journalism is what I do and it seems I cannot stop doing it unless someone does something very drastic. The consequence is that I tend to feel overwhelmed when trying to take up another challenge. Seemingly simple things such as sewing or participating in a zazenkai are simply too much.
So I decided to limit myself to my very modest sitting (15-20 minutes before I go to bed), occasionally reading some books or texts, strolling through these wonderful forums here without having much to add. I refrain from drinking hard or eating meat (something I started doing seriously during my first Ango attempt), I try to support good causes and to see through the everyday illusions in order to be serene and kind when dealing with other people. Sometimes I think I'm getting better doing that, thanks to the sitting. It's very little, and I call it my minimalist Buddhism.
So I'm sorry if I turned up again to participate in the Ango and Jukai only to go silent, after a short while. I should have known better. Please know that I'm deeply grateful for this community to exist - it enables me to continue my minimalist Buddhism.
Gassho,
Roland
#SatToday