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Thread: Pats on the back

  1. #1

    Pats on the back

    Here's an odd phenomenon. Has anyone else noticed people responding to them differently?
    Twice yesterday while I held a door for someone, and when someone did so for me, random strangers felt completely comfortable patting me on the back.

  2. #2
    Hey Clarck,

    Oh yeah, I sure recognize that! Or the other way around, people bumping into you as if you're invisible or something. Not in an aggressive way, just not noticing you are there. In my case that is almost impossible! I'm bald, 6 foot 2 and 200 pounds. That's hard to miss right?

    I think it has something to do with people not feeling a subconscious need to defend themselves or something? Not magic, just the way we carry ourselves, act and look into the world. The absence or diminishing of that what triggers an innate alertness that all people have somehow? People feeling comfortable stepping into your personal bubble all over sudden or showing affection without an obvious cause. It sure is weird when noticed. Pretty sure it has to do with our practice but dunno what that is? Very curious to see what others have to say!



  3. #3
    Hey Clark,

    Hmmm good question. I know for me, I live in a small town and occurrences like that happen all the time. When I came from the big city of Calgary where more often than not people avoid eye contact and such, I found this small town experience to be quite shocking. Once I started to see it as being normal fair, I fell right into it - how refreshing it was to feel connected even to strangers.

    I am not sure how big of a city/town you live in, but I feel that the smaller the demographics, the more friendlier it is going to be. If you do live in the big city, how wonderful to have that experience - the interconnectedness of all things.


  4. #4
    The same happens in my small town!

    I did notice, though, that when I sat longer the other day I must have had a change in my demeanor. When I went into work, people approached me left and right- usually locals have their favorite sales person they will wait for, but these were strangers. Two of my co workers were standing by me, completely available, but the customers kinda hung back and waited until I was done with the first person then grabbed me away before I could even hang up the jackets from the first customer! This happened about 3 times in a row, lasting almost a solid hour. It was a little odd but I definitely think it was because of my sitting.


  5. #5
    I understand what you mean Shingen. I am in downtown Savannah, and surrounded by tourists.
    Glad to know others are noticing .... Something.

  6. #6
    As a 6 foot tall guy with piercings, tattoos and an overall imposing demeanor, oftentimes people are pleasantly shocked when I am so polite and nice to them. It's completely disarming and I enjoy it each and every time. It's a good thing to challenge other's negative stereotypes of appearance in relation to social norms.

    Gassho, Jeffrey
    "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."
    Henry David Thoreau, Walden

  7. #7
    I live in an urban area of around 5 million (including all the sprawl) and most people have an easy familiarity with eye contact. It is friendly. There is also an easy familiarity to the rudeness and sometimes people don't understand this about big cities. Yesterday someone was tailgating me in the fast lane of the 401 (freeway), and wanted me to speed up. I was already going the standard 20km over the speed limit and didn't want to go faster, so he pulled around beside me and gave me the finger. That is connecting too.


    ed. New York is like that, It can seem rude, but people will talk to you like they have known you forever.
    Last edited by RichardH; 10-13-2013 at 02:51 PM.

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