This is in essence what a Sufi teacher once taught a bunch of greedy believers, torn between fear and awe:

To the question, how shall I go to heaven, master? The master first remained silent. Then he broke into an irresistible laughter. After a while he said:

You? In Heaven? What for? Hell is a far better place for people like you...there in the midst of illusion and in a sea of fire you have a great work to do, many people to practice with, a perfect place for saints as they can teach the way to deluded beings. Heaven? A perfect place for criminals and sinners, they have to practice virtue and loving kindness, what a great punishment and unbearable task!

If you can read Dogen, that is to say, when you look into your life, you ll see clearly that both can be dropped. This teaching is very close to the fierce roar of a famous Zen teacher of old Oka Daijun Sotan who used to be of the great inspirations of the young Sawaki Kodo:

To students coming in Dokusan , shaking from head to foot, he ised to shout: how do you dare asking for the Dharma, look at you! Look at you!

Sawaki Kodo said about these moments where priests in training were going in the dokusan room with a cut bowels feel: this was the roar of the lion in a chicken s ear!

That's the roar of zazen! When you drop lion, chicken, Buddha and self, good and bad, thoughts about this and that, then...Samsara and Nirvana are neither one nor two.

Please stop worrying about this and wishing to get that.