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  1. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by Fugen View Post

    In general i would say when the receiver is not ready for it, or otherwise unappropriate by for example bad language or harmful acts.
    If anyone has an good example of this be free to say so.


    I would agree... but it seems so-called tough love, and it comes to perception of what that may be, it is the only true love. On any level, on any occasion for anyone interested in the highest form of honesty, of truth, and of love. Yes of course it is how it is presented, words chosen and timing. Zen seems to bring that full bore. Tough love is to the point, directed at our self and other, and seems to be the most healthy. Non coated, non pandered, just brutal honesty. It seems a large share of love has to dance around in being too careful at not an upset, or at bringing to life what we ourselves and others need to look at. A more direct line to truth for all concerned, instead of beating around the bush out of fear of upset. Real empathy and compassion also comes through in a much more meaningful way, instead of living our lives out of concern of bring attention to something that needs to be address, the longer it festers, grows and is delayed, the worse we all are long term. Even in a case of some of uncomfortable situation with in-laws, address it with compassion and if it does stir things, so be it, and then move on from there. Of course when used out of negativity, in a case of getting even with someone, or pushing a negative agenda, that is not love of any kind. Zen seems very much a stark, naked, drill that drills at our psyches, piercing through the shallow BS. Of course its not for everyone, esp if you are afraid of truth and real love. To live a life with someone, including our children, fearing to bring something up or take it on straight forward, seems to be a great injustice to them and ourselves. To many people live their whole lives in this heavy baggage and drama, that only grows and festers until it erupts into a huge deal, not always fixable. Tough love is the only true love.
    Last edited by galen; 09-23-2012 at 04:45 PM.
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