fireworks in my head

Those Fireworks in Your Head? Not a Problem

Somewhere in this process, you will come face to face with the sudden and shocking realization that you are completely crazy. Your mind is a shrieking, gibbering madhouse on wheels barreling pell-mell down the hill, utterly out of control and hopeless. No problem. You are not crazier than you were yesterday. It has always been this way, and you just never noticed. You also are no crazier than anybody else around you. The real difference is that you have confronted the situation; they have not. So they still feel relatively comfortable. That does not mean that they are better off. Ignorance may be bliss, but it does not lead to Liberation. So don’t let this realization unsettle you. It is a milestone actually, a sign of real progress. The very fact that you have looked at the problem straight in the eye means that you are on your way up and out of it.


-Henepola Gunaratana, Mindfulness in Plain English

I found this very comforting. Sometimes I think that I'm making no progress at all or at least just sitting in the same old, same old. The "crazy " bouts in my head are getting farther and father apart and when they do show up I recognize that they're just passing!

Many blessings,
lora

Thank you Lora. I often feel the same way, but I try to remind myself that ideas of 'progress' may themselves be the problem. It is an amazing line we try to walk between accepting one's 'self' for exactly what it is, yet at the same time, trying to mold it into something else, althewhile remembering that there is no line to divide the two extremes, nor two extremes to begin with. My head hurts. I think I will listen to my cat purr instead :) .

Gassho,
-Kelly

i used to feel like that once...
but now it seems i lost that feeling. for a long time i felt i got stuck since i saw no progress in my practice.
now days i dont care about it, i just sit.
i dont even know how to explain what goes in my head when i sit, but it just goes.
things float around, thoughts, memories, ideas, everything.
and i just sit.

maybe we are all crazy to sit like that... but who knows?
it just feels right to me :)