Respecting different beliefs? Even in ghosts?
Hi Jundo/Sangha,
I have a question about respecting different beliefs. I appreciate the notion of different strokes for different folks and different ways up the same mountain. However, my wife, mother-in-law, and her best friends (etc...)are big believers in ghosts, spirits, demons, gods, and superstition. A friend of my wife recently slept at another friend's place and said there were lots of spirits in her house and she needed to do a special ritual. As a man of science, I think this is utter rubbish, but sadly, my wife did believe this story. I try not to get myself involved in their discussions, but it's actually quite challenging if it's your wife. Every so often, I'll try to nudge my wife to ignore the superstition and live in the present moment. I would explain that in zazen, we don't try to find the answers to metaphysical questions, but we lose the questions entirely. The Way is actually simple if there is no picking or choosing. She does not find these answers helpful.
How do you skillfully deal with this situation? Do you ignore them and not engage unless they ask you? I actually find this very difficult to deal with. Perhaps, I'm just very stubborn.
Gassho,
Van
SAT+LAH
Respecting different beliefs? Even in ghosts?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
vanbui
Hi Jundo/Sangha,
I have a question about respecting different beliefs. I appreciate the notion of different strokes for different folks and different ways up the same mountain. However, my wife, mother-in-law, and her best friends (etc...)are big believers in ghosts, spirits, demons, gods, and superstition. A friend of my wife recently slept at another friend's place and said there were lots of spirits in her house and she needed to do a special ritual. As a man of science, I think this is utter rubbish, but sadly, my wife did believe this story. I try not to get myself involved in their discussions, but it's actually quite challenging if it's your wife. Every so often, I'll try to nudge my wife to ignore the superstition and live in the present moment. I would explain that in zazen, we don't try to find the answers to metaphysical questions, but we lose the questions entirely. The Way is actually simple if there is no picking or choosing. She does not find these answers helpful.
How do you skillfully deal with this situation? Do you ignore them and not engage unless they ask you? I actually find this very difficult to deal with. Perhaps, I'm just very stubborn.
Gassho,
Van
SAT+LAH
Here’s my humble opinion on the matter: the approach should always be compassion. Their beliefs, whether based on truth or absolute mumbo jumbo, are very much real to them, so they experience real torment or joy because of them. Dismissing those beliefs mindlessly means dismissing them as people. Most of the time their beliefs don’t affect anyone so, why be bothered by them, regardless of how we feel about their authenticity? Unless specifically asked to do so, why express an opinion that might cause someone else sadness or anger?
Tolerance, compassion and kindness towards those who believe differently than we do open many more gates to real communication than criticism or mockery ever could.
The Buddha way is that of compassion for all beings. Most of the time we should focus more on why it troubles us what others believe. It is also helpful to remember that someone else out there in the world feels exactly the same about our buddhist or even scientific beliefs.
I apologize for once again rambling more than Needed.
[emoji1374] SatToday
Respecting different beliefs? Even in ghosts?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
coriander
gassho2
This resonated for me, thank you. All except the last sentence. If other people are us and we are them, then energy spent interacting is not wasted... it does not need to be a competition of wills/ideas.
Gassho,
Charity
sat/lah
Sometimes, it is actually wiser to save that energy, especially when using it can lead to arguments, heated discussions, resentment or frustration. There are those times we clearly see the person talking to us has their mind set and they are not talking to us or listening to us, they are simply waiting for us to finish so they can say whatever they already had prepared, with no regard for our opinions. Even the Dhamapada says there are those times it’s best to stay away - in a loving and compassionate way, of course - from mindless people, as they can be a trigger to us and us to them. [emoji1]
[emoji1374] SatToday