Zazen: Not Sitting is as Vital as Sitting
In Zazen, we seek to sit each day. There are times to sit long and times to sit short. Perhaps we will sit for hours and hours, day after day, in Retreat. Or, perhaps, on a busy day, we might "sit" Zazen for a few minutes while holding the strap on the bus while commuting to work, or before hurrying to make breakfast for the kids. However, we must never forget that, whether sitting for 1 week or 1 minute or second, Zazen is never a matter of "long vs. short." One should sit beyond all measure of time, as well as thoughts of "before" or "after" Zazen. In such way, if one is sitting for hours or days but watching the clock, turning sitting into a race of achievement, thinking that the more one sits, the more points one racks up, then one may be wasting one's time no matter how long one sits. On the other hand, if one sits but a few minutes, yet with a sense that all time (and Timeless) is held fully in each moment, that there is no other place to go, nothing lacking, nothing more to gain, then every tick of the clock holds endless Kalpa and all the universe. One sits for some minutes each day precisely to embody and carve into the bones this timeless Truth.
But that is not all. Times of --NOT-- sitting are as vital to the Zen Path as times of sitting.
Of course, there is the fact that, after sitting Zazen, we then get up from the sitting cushion and get on with life: work to do, places to go, the kids to feed, doctors to see and walls to paint. This is all Zazen too, and our Practice, in its widest, boundless meaning. Perhaps in our doing so, the "non-doing" and Timeless "no place to go, and nothing lacking" of Zazen in our bones will carry with us as we run to makes those appointments and get the jobs done on time. Master Dogen spoke of Practice-Enlightenment, and bringing Enlightenment to life on and off the cushion.
But beyond that, I am also speaking of the times of NOT sitting when we completely put down and rest from Zazen and this Practice completely. We put Practice down, we walk away. Doing so is sometimes vital too.
It is okay to miss Zazen for many days, even weeks, even more perhaps ... ... forgetting about Zen and Buddhas and bells and Emptiness for spans of time ... so long as one is consistent in coming back, getting on the horse again. Being away and coming back may all be aspects of the practice. However, it is that "coming back" that is vital too, indispensable, and the difference between a rest and truly quitting. The coming back and coming back, over the long haul, is vital, and is the difference between a respite and real quitting.
Please do not misunderstand: Sitting each day, day after day without a miss, is excellent too (even sitting many times a day, for hours and hours, on a no miss basis) --IF-- that is really what seems right, good and balanced in one's life. Everyone's heart and needs are different. Some folks describe themselves sitting through rain or sun, thick or thin, getting their arse down on the cushion come hell or high water, and that is marvelous if that is what they need, and what works well for their life. If it makes one's life truly better, healthy and wholesome, one should know it by the feeling as one lives it of being good, healthy and wholesome. Doing so shows grit, strength, determination, persistence which is cherished on this Path as a Virtue.
On the other hand, however, if one is sitting so as an obsession, clutching, fixated, off balance in mind, then perhaps something is amiss. This Shikantaza way is not about racking up points, or chasing after goals, but is about sitting for sitting's sake beyond measure, lack and striving for attainments. Better to be a little "hooked" on Zazen instead of drugs, alcohol or gambling, but even Zazen might become an addiction, a sick and obsessive attachment for some. We sit persistently and diligently, but without clutching or striving. Only your heart can tell you what type of sitter you are, and why you are sitting so hard every day ... for the right reasons or wrong. The obsessed or unbalanced sitter may actually have to force themselves -NOT- to sit sometimes, and that also takes grit and strength to do.
And if we go to the other extreme, and are truly negligent in sitting, sit too little and too many days between (you will know how many is 'too many' because it seems like too many), are an escaper who simply runs from anything a little unpleasant, that is not good either. There is an aspect to Zen practice, and our dropping likes and dislikes, aversions and attractions, that requires us to sit many days when we do not wish to do so. (So many Saturday mornings, for our weekly Treeleaf Zazenkai, I have thought of just staying in bed and letting somebody else handle it. However, in about 12 years, I do not think that I have, except when really sick or called away urgently. It has sometimes been wonderfully-terrible to drag my ass to Zazen some of those days, but always terribly-wonderful in the end [gassholook] ). The value of this came to me when I was hospitalized for my big surgery, did not want to be there, was frustrated and uncomfortable ... yet had learned to be beyond my fears and resistance, likes and dislikes too. I sat (reclined) beautiful Zazen in the hospital bed, unable to escape yet not wishing to escape. There are also times to push hard in retreat, at Sesshin, in which we rise in the middle of the night, sit for hours, day after day, all to realize the true meaning of "nothing to attain." Then, returning home, Sesshin over, we may slack off for some days. No big deal.
You must know and judge by one's own heart, by listening to yourself, when you are at the extreme of sitting TOO MUCH, a Zazen prisoner, or at the other extreme of not sitting enough, TOO LITTLE, being just an armchair Buddhist who sits few and far between. Are you sitting, or not sitting, in a healthy balance?
There are also times to step back a bit for physical or psychological reasons. If one has a headache, if it is too emotionally trying some days, one may need to take a rest, like a runner who needs to heal before getting back on the road. We may not want to slack off, take a break, but we have to. And even if in good health, and when life is well, we might just want to take a break. No reason.
I would go so far as saying that "slipping up" or stepping back from sitting Zazen is part of the path and process of "no loss no gain" that makes all the difference in the world. Feeling the contrast between sitting and not sitting, and COMING BACK, COMING HOME AGAIN are all vital ... like a prodigal child who only realizes the value of home after being away, like a hiker or martial artist who only realizes the value of the walk or her skill by sometime getting lost or falling. So, for such folks, it is okay to come and go, sit some days but not others. Not everyone has to sit every day. It is the persistent coming back and coming back, going away yet coming back, that is the litmus test.
Thus. ours is the Middle Way, neither too lose nor too slack, and so we make lovely harmony like the stings of a lute or violin. There is a time to pick up the instrument, and a time to put it down. As long as one picks it up again, and knows that every note and pause holds all the beauty and silence, one is playing well.
Gassho, Jundo
SatTodayLAH
PS - Nonetheless, even if one is "taking a break," we still ask you to sit for a few minutes before posting to our Forum (unless taking a break for health reasons or a life emergency that prevents sitting). gassho1
Signing "SatToday" - Please "Sat" before Forum "Chat"
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