Four Missing Instructions
The following four aspects are vital, yet not clearly stated in many introductions to sitting Shikantaza Zazen. Their absence makes all the difference in the world:
First, we sit with a radical non-demanding and self-fulfillment in Zazen, unvoiced yet felt deep in the bones, a trust and faith that sitting itself is the fulfillment of sitting, with not one drop lacking, not one thing to add, no other thing to do or place to go in all the universe, apart from this moment of sitting itself. We say that sitting itself is Buddha sitting, and the whole world is sitting as our sitting. Sitting is the flowering, Just As It Is, of all life. It is the medicine for our endless human need to add, remove, fix, change, do, get somewhere, attain some reward. Yet this freedom from bottomless desire for reward, attaining, change and need to arrive somewhere is a Grand Reward and Wondrous Change Thus Attained, in each step True Arrival.
Second, we let thoughts go, do not grab on, step back from stirring up and wallowing in emotions. However, we also have a trust that Shikantaza is like the weather, sometimes clear and open, sometimes cloudy or downright stormy some days. Yet, even on stormy or cloudy days, we have deep faith that the sun and sky are still present and shining, seen or unseen. Don't think that Zazen is only 'good and right' when it feels good, calm, peaceful and right. It is 'good and right' even on those days when it goes wrong. Then perhaps the light will emerge even from within the dark or rainy clouds, which somehow become translucent. Even the clouds are the sky, the sky is also sometimes raining. Next day, maybe the sky is clear and open without a single cloud again, then maybe next day the weather changes again ... but the sky and sun are always present all days. Do not cling to or demand pleasure, calm, bliss, silence or peace, for they may come and go. Realizing such is True Peace shining at the heart of all the world's noise and calamity, the Still Still point at the center of all coming and going.
Third, for the time of sitting, radically drop all thought of points, progress and "more time is better." Rather, Zazen is always good, nothing to measure, and each second of Zazen is infinite and timeless. Just let thoughts go, without grabbing on, put aside other judgments, measures and weighing, and know that Zazen is always complete. Although Zazen is beyond all measure and time, we still sit each day for a certain time (not a paradox to Zen folks).
Fourth, learn that one can see through and drop away one's ego, thoroughly and completely, and experience a reality free of an individual ego, without a separate sense of self, and beyond all the frictions and fears which a separate self creates between our ears when it bumps into the other seeming separate selves of the world, or desires something, or fears for its own non-existence. However, as strange as it sounds, one can experience so, thoroughly and completely even while one retains a human ego for living day to day (also not a paradox for us). For Zen folks, a cup can be totally empty, open and perfectly clear, while also full to the rim with tea, much as the sun shines even during the darkest night. The result is not some nihilistic nothing, not loss of life, but a wholeness, fullness and flowing that sweeps in and through all separate things.
Further, we learn to keep balance in the self which remains, less a prisoner of the push and pull of our desires and drives, excess emotions and runaway, destructive thoughts, so that our thoughts are moderate, balanced, like an ox well tamed. We can do all this at once, as one, as if encountering the world through two eyes which, both open, give perspective and clarity: A moderated self which picks and chooses AND no-self at once, each infusing and perfuming the other, both seen at once as one, a new and clear perspective. (Even so, some days, that ox will still get away from us, and life will still knock us out of the saddle, vision cloudy. That's okay. Dust off, wipe one's eyes, grab the reins again, get back on the ox! Get back on the Zafu! )
Zazen is crossing the legs, sitting upright, breathing and letting thoughts go for some time each day, and yet that alone is not the beginning nor the end of Zazen.
Ride and rider, empty circle and space, not same not different, up and down, moving on yet no place to go ... Shikantaza.
Gassho, J
SatTodayLAH
