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FeMonky
07-19-2007, 03:11 PM
Just adding some lightheartedness to the forums!
:)
If my Chihuahua lays his head in my lap during Meditation practice is that...

Dog 'n' Zazen?

And the classic favorite of most:

What does a Zen cow say?

Mu.

-Xander

Davidseon
07-19-2007, 10:06 PM
What did the Buddhist say to the Hot Dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

Fuken
07-20-2007, 08:28 AM
Q: How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? ?
A: None, they are the light bulb.)


Q: How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three -- one to change it, one to not-change it and one to both change- and not-change it.


Q: How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Tree falling in the forest.

Take care,
Jordan

PaxAnimi
07-21-2007, 05:02 AM
What is the name of the best Zen teacher?
M.T. Ness

How do you describe a schizophrenic Zen Buddhist?
A man who is at two with the universe

Justin
07-24-2007, 01:17 AM
From the Daily Show, I present to you some dark humor: Bodhisattva Bush (http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2lc8h_bodhisattva-bush-the-daily-show-vo_news)

Funnily enough, probably the least misconception-ridden presentation of Buddhism I've ever seen on national television. He even does a proper gassho!

Speaking of which,

Gassho.

PaxAnimi
07-24-2007, 02:31 AM
Justin, that was hilarious. Thanks for the link :)

Gregor
07-24-2007, 03:12 AM
A student asks his master, "what happens after we die?"

The Master answers,"I don't know."

The student becomes frustrated and says. "I thought you where a Zen Master!"

The Master replies, "I am, but not a dead Zen Master."

Don Niederfrank
07-24-2007, 12:17 PM
What did the Buddhist say to the Hot Dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

What did the vendor say when the Buddhist asked for his change?
'Change comes from within.'

Jundo
07-24-2007, 12:49 PM
Dear All,

I love these jokes but, 'oh my Gautama,' some of these are as old as the Buddha ... and I don't mean Shakyamuni Buddha. I mean the Buddha two Kalpas before him.

Okay, let me try one Zen joke:




How was that?

G, J

FeMonky
07-24-2007, 02:16 PM
:lol:
Justin, I've always loved the daily show! that was a hilarious piece.
But, Jundo's joke actually made me laugh out loud!

-Xander

paige
08-08-2007, 06:55 AM
Courtesy of the webcomic Toothpaste for Dinner (http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/):

http://img479.imageshack.us/img479/3672/buddhists9ds.gif

Justin
08-08-2007, 05:42 PM
lol!

Very funny.

Blind Ox
08-08-2007, 06:55 PM
Not a buddhist joke but is in Osho's "Buddha his life and teachings"

The pope heard that a certain lady in Ireland had produced ten children, so he sent one of his cardinals to grant her his blessings. When he met the lady, the cardinal was disgusted to learn that she was not Catholic. "DO YOU MEAN TO SAY," he thundered, "that I have COME ALL THIS WAY TO MEET A SEX-MAD PROTESTANT?"

Fuken
02-18-2008, 04:59 AM
A Zen master once said to me, "Do the opposite of whatever I tell you."
So I didn't.

KvonNJ
02-18-2008, 06:07 AM
Q- What does it mean if the Buddhist is drooling out of both corners of his mouth?

A- The Zabuton is level.

Gregor
02-18-2008, 06:11 AM
Did we already tell the one about the Zen master and the Sailor?

Fuken
02-18-2008, 06:29 AM
Did we already tell the one about the Zen master and the Sailor?

I have not seen it, post it up!

Gassho,
Jordan

paige
02-18-2008, 10:05 PM
Sinfest has some great Buddha comics.

http://www.sinfest.net/comikaze/comics/2006-11-12.gif

These ones are PG-13 at least, for language:

http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2268
http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2385
http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2441

Gregor
02-19-2008, 01:51 AM
A yogi goes into his dentist office. Just as the dentist is about to give him a shot of Novocaine, the Yogi puts his hand up and refuses, "No thanks, I transcend dental medication."

paige
02-29-2008, 06:27 PM
Today's Sinfest comic strip:

http://www.sinfest.net/comikaze/comics/2008-02-29.gif

Fuken
02-29-2008, 06:31 PM
I thought yesterday's was fun too...

will
03-01-2008, 02:28 AM
Two Buddhas don't walk into a bar.

Ouch! :roll:


G,W