My daughter and fiance's car accident and Ango: One in the same

[Alexander]

This last Monday, my daughter and fiance were involved in a roll over car accident. While at work I got the call from the crash scene and raced to them. Obviously panic and fear were flooding my mind. I have never pushed my car to the speed I had to in order to get there 25 miles away.

My 4 year old was terrified, but miraculously came out with nothing more than scrapes and bruises. My fiance got a 15cm deep laceration on the back of her head and suffered a concussion.

While in the trauma ward with her overnight, amidst my Ango, I found myself having to reassure her over and over:
None of our possessions in that car matter
None of our human, man-made problems bothering our daily life matter
None of our thoughts of whose to blame or how we could have prevented this matter

It was absolute chaos that brought us here. It is love and gentle, healing care that will get us out. 2 sides, the same universal coin.


I apologize if this was the wrong section of forum to post this to, but I felt others may learn something from one of my life's worst experiences.

Gassho,
Alexander
ST/LAH

P.S. My fiance was able to come home Tuesday evening. Over 20 stitches and many (ongoing) nauseating headaches later, she's recovering at home while I double duty as Mr. Mom :D

[Jundo]

Yes. A very good accident in the end.

It seems your Ango is already blossoming. gassho1

We will all sit Zazen this Ango, and offer Metta, for your daughter and fiance and all facing accidents with harder outcomes.

Gassho, J

STLah

[Meitou]

This last Monday, my daughter and fiance were involved in a roll over car accident. While at work I got the call from the crash scene and raced to them. Obviously panic and fear were flooding my mind. I have never pushed my car to the speed I had to in order to get there 25 miles away.

My 4 year old was terrified, but miraculously came out with nothing more than scrapes and bruises. My fiance got a 15cm deep laceration on the back of her head and suffered a concussion.

While in the trauma ward with her overnight, amidst my Ango, I found myself having to reassure her over and over:
None of our possessions in that car matter
None of our human, man-made problems bothering our daily life matter
None of our thoughts of whose to blame or how we could have prevented this matter

It was absolute chaos that brought us here. It is love and gentle, healing care that will get us out. 2 sides, the same universal coin.


I apologize if this was the wrong section of forum to post this to, but I felt others may learn something from one of my life's worst experiences.

Gassho,
Alexander
ST/LAH

P.S. My fiance was able to come home Tuesday evening. Over 20 stitches and many (ongoing) nauseating headaches later, she's recovering at home while I double duty as Mr. Mom :D

I'm so glad that your practice is supporting you right now. Wishing your partner and daughter a speedy and complete recovery.
Gassho
Meitou
Satwithyoualltoday

[Enjaku]

None of our possessions in that car matter
None of our human, man-made problems bothering our daily life matter
None of our thoughts of whose to blame or how we could have prevented this matter



gassho2

Metta to your loved ones.
As a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, I support children and parents who have experienced single-event trauma. Feel free to PM me if I can be of any help.

Gassho,
Enjaku
Sat LAH

[Seishin]

Alexander

Sending much metta, glad this has not been as serious as it could have been. Thoughts with you and your family.

[Eishuu]

I'm so glad that they are okay. I'm glad Enjaku has offered some support regarding trauma. Much metta to you all.

Gassho
Eishuu
ST/LAH

[Washin]

Metta to you and your dear ones. I'm glad they're recovering from the accident.
May they be well soonest gassho2

Gassho
Washin
sat-lah

[KellyRok]

Alexander,

I'm thinking of you and your family and sending much Metta. May you all recover in good time and be sure to get some rest.

Gassho,
Kelly/Jinmei
sattoday/lah

[Jishin]

Wow. Close call

Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_

[Tairin]

Metta to you and your family. I was in a car accident 12 years ago with my wife and then 3 year old son. I know the trauma involved. Take care and give yourselves time to recover both physically and mentally

gassho2
Tairin
Sat today

[Kokuu]

she's recovering at home while I double duty as Mr. Mom

Ango clearly has plans for you to be the hands of Kannon!

More seriously, I am glad that your daughter is okay and fiancée escaped with a relatively minor injury.

Such events really do make us appreciate what is important in life.

Deep bows and much metta
Kokuu
-sattoday/lah-

[Doshin]

gassho2

Doshin
St

[Roland]

Sending Metta to you and your loved ones. Keep us posted about the situation.

Gassho

Roland

Sat/LAH


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[Mp]

Much metta to you your family Alexander. Ango and practice comes in many forms ... may you all be at peace.

Gassho
Shingen

Sat/LAH

[Shokai]

gassho2
Shokai
stlah

[Shugen]

Meta to you and your family.

Gassho,

Shugen

Sattoday/LAH


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[Emmet]

None of our possessions in that car matter
None of our human, man-made problems bothering our daily life matter
None of our thoughts of whose to blame or how we could have prevented this matter

It was absolute chaos that brought us here. It is love and gentle, healing care that will get us out. 2 sides, the same universal coin.


What a wonderful gatha. So glad you'r family's OK. May your mate's recovery be fast and complete.

Deep peace to all trauma victims and their families.
Deep peace to all rescuers and their families.
Deep peace to all, rescuers and rescued alike, who still feel the physical and emotional sequelae of trauma.
Emmet; FF/NREMT-P

Sat today. LAH

[Jundo]

By the way (having been in a couple of serious accidents myself many years ago, fortunately without injury), there can be emotional effects that pop up days after ... even for you, who was not in the accident itself. Let the effects be the effects. Remember that Zen is not to turn us into emotional robots, and it is okay to be a bit sad or scared or shook up sometimes. That is how the brain is wired. Don't feel bad about sometimes feeling bad.

Talk to a counselor if you all need too.

Gassho, J

STLah

[Alexander]

Thank you all so much for your well wishes. I will post an update here soon.

Jundo, thank you for your advice. Going through this moment by moment, I'm doing my best to see my sadness and pain through one eye, and the open arms of the universe in the other. We are all a miracle.

Gassho,
Alexander
ST/LAH

[Byokan]

Wow Alexander, sooo glad they are ok. Embracing the chaos and the love, sounds like Ango. Sending lots of metta for all involved!

Gassho
Byōkan
sat + lah

[Jinyo]

Metta to you and your family Alexander,

gassho2

Jinyo

ST

[MyoHo]

Metta to you all Alexander. Many thoughts and emotions go though our mind at a time like that. Glad it was not as bad as could have.

Gassho

MyoHo

ST

[Beldame]

Metta to you and your family Alexander. Your words to you daughter in the hospital resound with wisdom and compassion. I will try to remember them.

Hoping that everyone involved heals in timely fashion.

Gassho--
Deborah

Sattoday

[Koki]

Alexander,
The crash and your loved ones encountered a storm of life. You, my friend, kept calm in the eye of the storm. That is what we do, and you handled it as a true bodhisattva.

Meta for your family, and peace and kudos to you my friend...you're doing it right ;)

Gassho
Frank
Satoday


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[Jakuden]

Dear Alexander,

Thank you for this wise teaching. Deep bows, and much love and Metta to you and your family. [gassholook] Be gentle with yourselves in the coming days!

Gassho,
Jakuden
SatToday/LAH

[Souchi]

Glad to hear that your family is OK, at least physically. Much metta to all involved.

Gassho,
Souchi

SatToday

[Alexander]

Update:
Everyone is recovering wonderfully. The little one has remarkably transitioned into her first 4 days of Kindergarden. My fiance is healing well. Stitches get looked at Friday.

Deep bows to all of you. I've shared your kind words with my family as I received them. It helped keep her spirits up knowing all of you, from around the world, were thinking of us. Thank you all.

Gassho,
Alexander
ST/LAH

[newby_x86]

Good to hear, Alexander :encouragement:

Anant
SaT

[Jundo]

:encouragement:

[Byokan]

So glad to hear this, Alexander. Thanks for the update!

Gassho
Byōkan
sat + lah

[Kotei]

Thank you for the good news!
Gassho,
Kotei just sat.

[Ryudo]

Sending Metta to you and your family Alexander.

Gassho/SatToday

[Mp]

Update:
Everyone is recovering wonderfully. The little one has remarkably transitioned into her first 4 days of Kindergarden. My fiance is healing well. Stitches get looked at Friday.

Deep bows to all of you. I've shared your kind words with my family as I received them. It helped keep her spirits up knowing all of you, from around the world, were thinking of us. Thank you all.

Gassho,
Alexander
ST/LAH

Glad everything worked out Alexander. =)

Gassho
Shingen

Sat/LAH

[Doshin]

gassho2

Doshin
St

[Joyo]

Update:
Everyone is recovering wonderfully. The little one has remarkably transitioned into her first 4 days of Kindergarden. My fiance is healing well. Stitches get looked at Friday.

Deep bows to all of you. I've shared your kind words with my family as I received them. It helped keep her spirits up knowing all of you, from around the world, were thinking of us. Thank you all.

Gassho,
Alexander
ST/LAH

I am very happy that everyone has made a recovery, Alexander. That is such great news!!

Gassho,
Joyo
sat today/lah

[Seishin]

Great news.

[Meitou]

Wonderful news, huzzah!

Gassho
Meitou
satwithyoualltodaylah

[Kyoshin]

Update:
Everyone is recovering wonderfully. The little one has remarkably transitioned into her first 4 days of Kindergarden. My fiance is healing well. Stitches get looked at Friday.

Deep bows to all of you. I've shared your kind words with my family as I received them. It helped keep her spirits up knowing all of you, from around the world, were thinking of us. Thank you all.

Gassho,
Alexander
ST/LAHHooray for good news!
Gassho
Nick
Satlah

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[Jundo]

Hooray for good news!
Gassho
Nick
Satlah

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As long as we don't forget to "Hooray" for bad new too. Maybe not quite the same "Hooray" ... maybe a "Hooray" even as tears come down our cheeks, maybe "Hooray" as we are moaning and groaning in the sick bed ... but "Hooray" nonetheless, for life itself. Zen folks are strange birds. We welcome all of it.

There is an old Zen saying … NICHI NICHI KORE KONICHI (日々是好日), Everyday is a good day, said by Yunmen, Kodo Sawaki and others. They were referring to something much much more than just some naive optimism ...


http://kakejiku.ocnk.net/data/kakejiku/product/22e08471da.jpg

NICHI NICHI KORE KONICHI

Every Day Is A Good Day

Some old preaching ...


SIT-A-LONG with Jundo: gratitude & Great Gratitude
https://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showthread.php?11275-SIT-A-LONG-with-Jundo-gratitude-Great-Gratitude


... there is a greater, transcendent, boundless Gratitude in the Buddha's Teachings that does not even need the subtle "see the bright side" "find the positive to counter the negative" or "personal pay-off of what's ultimately nice for 'me'" in the above sense of ordinary gratitude. Rather, there's an even Greater "Non-Pay-off" than that! A Jewel so precious, it shines as both earthly jewels and life's thrown bricks and stones in our shoe.

Ordinary human gratitude is what we are encouraged to feel in the above exercise, and it is fine. In fact, it is wise, healthy and important. Yet there is a "Buddha's Gratitude" which is not dependent on what we "like" that momentarily pleases the selfish-self, that is not based simply on "looking out for the good side" or experiencing the "gorgeous" day. This Emptiness that is all Fullness -is- both the glass "half full" and "half empty!"

A Buddha's Gratitude is Vast and Unlimited ... a Gratitude both for that which we love and that which we may not ...

Gassho, J

STLah

[Koki]

Thank you Jundo.
Always a welcome reminder..can't have flowers without the rain ;)

Gassho
Frank
Satoday

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[Kyoshin]

[emoji120]

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[Kyonin]

As long as we don't forget to "Hooray" for bad new too. Maybe not quite the same "Hooray" ... maybe a "Hooray" even as tears come down our cheeks, maybe "Hooray" as we are moaning and groaning in the sick bed ... but "Hooray" nonetheless, for life itself. Zen folks are strange birds. We welcome all of it.

Thank you for this reminder, Jundo.

Bad news are part of life too and we stand open to them as well.

Gassho,

Kyonin
Sat/LAH