Grass Hut - 17 - "Life and Death"

[Jundo]

All things being change and impermanence, we come to Chapter 13 ... "Life and Death Is the Great Matter" ...

Tossing out a question (feel free to change it) ... How well do you handle change and impermanence of the people and things around you? Has Zen Practice helped you better flow with change and impermanence?

Gassho, Jundo (for now)

SatToday

[Jishin]

Hi,

I and change are not separate. I am change. Knowing this I handle change better.

Gassho, Jishin

#SatToday

[Myosha]

Hello,

Life (with a capital-letter 'L') is impermanence and change.

This is Life with human experience.

Zen is all.


Gassho
Myosha sat today

[Mp]

Hello all,

For me, life and change are not different; impermanence and life are not different. This practice has allowed me to be ok with these two conditions, which has allowed me to truly see, hear, smell, taste, and touch this life. =)

Gassho
Shingen

#sattoday

[Kyotai]

My practice has helped me become more accepting of impermanence....accepting things as they are even in change..

Gassho, Kyotai
Sat today :)

[Ernstguitar]

Hi Jundo,


How well do you handle change and impermanence of the people and things around you? Has Zen Practice helped you better flow with change and impermanence?


Somehow I am a very rigid person. Zazen made me more ritual-structured becourse the two times a day when I sit.
But somehow it feels more like doing always something new. With my 53 years I can see all the changes on my body, my cells,
in Society. So, I have to be o.k. with change and impermanence. And I read a book from Marc Aurel: If you die when you are Young or you die when you are old you are loosing the same. No matter of age. It is the present moment. Zazen helps me to be in the moment, so that I see the change.

Gassho, Ernst

Sat today

[Ekai]

Reading about impermanence really hits home. Currently, I am learning a hard lesson in impermanence and change with my divorce. I thought for sure that our marriage would last our lifetime, but that’s not the reality. So now I am learning about the impermanence of relationships, and the process of letting go of what I wanted things to be or thought it was. Accepting impermanence can be painful, but more painful if you resist the flows of change. Whether you like it or not, things change and it’s best to accept it just as it is and then move on accordingly. However, impermanence can also be a positive change with an opportunity for new life to breathe in. This practice definitely helps me to understand this.

Gassho,
Ekai
willsittoday

[Mp]

Accepting impermanence can be painful, but more painful if you resist the flows of change. Whether you like it or not, things change and it’s best to accept it just as it is and then move on accordingly.

Very nice! =)

I too have walked this path like many others and it was this practice of acceptance, gratitude, and forgiveness that allowed me to learn and grow ... to truly embrace ALL of life's conditions.

Gassho
Shingen

#sattoday

[Jakuden]

Although a trivial, routine situation compared to the crises some people face, just being the parent of two teenage girls seems like a daily lesson in impermanence for me. I am sitting daily with anger at their teenage attitudes, love and pride in their achievements, fear for their safety and futures, feelings of loss at their separation from me, sadness in missing my own mother, the list goes on. I sit with whomever they are today, and try to let my own expectations and feelings float by like clouds. (Easier to say than do)

Gassho,
Sierra
SatToday

[Rich]

Life is very fragile and even with our best effort death can appear. Enjoy this day.

SAT today

[Shokai]

Everyday I am taught. Taught by all of you, by everyone, by all dharmas; accept and move on! gassho2
And yet , as Sierra says, the grief goes on. Sometimes you are the bug, sometimes the windshield. This life is to be experienced and appreciated with much gratitude. Just sit.
gassho

#Sattoday

[Kaishin]

I handle change poorly. But I used to handle it terribly, so that's progress. Intellectually, I understand impermanence and the cosmic silliness of getting frustrated/anxious about change. But I don't live it...yet

-satToday

[Joyo]

This chapter provides such a balanced view on life, death, and impermanence.

Through Zen practice, I have learned to handle change and impermanence better. I used to cling to my kid's younger years, saving every little thing, and almost felt sad o their birthdays. I recently picked through all of their baby clothes (I had kept almost everything!!) and donated almost all of it. When their birthdays come I celebrate, and do not give that dukkha (that resistance to the flow of life) much though.

I still struggle with fear of losing loved ones. I only have a few, and they are so precious to me. This has been brought to my attention recently that it's an area I need some more practice with.

Gassho,
Joyo
sat today

[Meishin]

Hi,

"Life and Death is the Great Matter." For a younger person this can be a theoretical concern, or a concern about how to handle others' life and death. As one ages it becomes very personal. Very real. Today I am negotiating with a "youngster," 30 years younger than I, to step into my professional practice. I have resisted this conversation for several years. Zen practice over the past two years has been helpful in seeing this as a river flowing, nothing more (or less). It has been good (as well as not so good at times). But all things pass, also me. Mind you, control is not an easy thing to give up. It's a work in progress.

Gassho
Meishin
sat today

[Jishin]

Hi,

Today I am negotiating with a "youngster," 30 years younger than I, to step into my professional practice.

You mean he is 70? :)

Gassho, Jishin, _/st\_

[Shokai]

Wow, he likes good, must be an older picture, right John :D [claps]

Gassho

#Sat 2 day

[Meishin]

I can always count on you, Jishin. You must be a therapist of some sort.

No Shokai, it's a recent picture. But I do photography so I know how to hide the problems. [monk]

Gassho
Meishin
sat today

[Risho]

Life is very fragile and even with our best effort death can appear. Enjoy this day.

SAT today

Thank you for that!

I get hung up on change but practice helps me step back, breathe and just allow it more to just be. Its also helped me appreciate and have more respect for my elders. Im 39 so im not a kid but Ive found that zen has helped me feel lucky the longer im around and to be around older and wiser folks.

This culture is afraid of aging and change because it fears death but I think that is a mistake. I think older members of our culture are invaluable and should never be marginalized or left to "rot" in elder care facilities. I think the wisdom of experience is a gift (because it comes with age and cant be rushed) and by embracing change I think we experience a freedom by being curious about what will come in life rather than living in a prison of regret because we miss the days of our bygone youth.

I think all phases and stages of life are precious; zen has helped me realize that.

I really like what Rich said; its a good reminder to live each day with light heart and to really live fully; not by grasping after the next big thing but really loving who we are with right now, appreciating all the friends and family and everything else we have because if what ive started to realize as i age is indicative: it all goes by so fast and its too special to miss.

Gassho

Risho
-sattoday

[Talib]

Actually learn to deal very well with change in the military.
Also learned almost nothing is as simple as it appears.
However when times become overwelming to breathe even if just walking and breathing. Has helped tremendously.
Gassho
Sattoday

Sent from my SM-G360P using Tapatalk

[AlanLa]

Hello! Long time no poster here, but I have finally caught back up! I got behind a while back, and then various life and death things happened that pushed me further behind, but things have settled down now and I have been racing (at a zen-like pace) to catch up. As I have been catching up I have been reading all the chapters/sections and all the related postings very carefully, and I would love to post all sorts of comments on just about everything, as it has been nice to read and contemplate along the way, but life goes on, and so does the book, so I will respect the process and get on to the life and death topic.

Has my practice helped me deal with the change and impermanence of such things as death? Yes. I have had more people that I cared about die than I can count, and that is no exaggeration. Most of them were people with disabilities that died before what we might consider "their time." But it was their time to die, because they did, and I never handled it well. I would get sad, then drunk, then angry, and then confused about it all. Eventually, my angst would pass until the next bad news of death would come and the process would repeat itself; actually, my self just repeated the process. As I began to run out of these dear friends I picked up Zen practice and philosophy and Treeleaf, etc., and all that accumulated pain began to ease. Late last year, one of the dearest people I've ever known died somewhat suddenly, another person with a disability that was truly like a brother to me. As all those others were dying, I knew his day would also surely come, and I dreaded how I would handle it. My fear was that I would have a very deep depression and a really long, bad binge. But after years of practice, and preparation, it wasn't that bad, certainly nowhere near the depths I'd fathomed beforehand. By comparison, I handled my "brother" Icaba's death better than any of the others that preceded him, but that still doesn't mean I handled it all that well.

In contrast, my dad died May 1st. He was 82 and miserable, and he was making my mom and brother miserable with his misery. If there is such a thing as a good death as a release from suffering, then he had it. And it released my mom and brother, too. His death was expected; it was his time. There were no tears, no sadness, excess drinking, anger, or confusion. He just passed on in his sleep, and we all carried on the process of celebrating his life before carrying on living our own. In the two months since his passing I hear his voice in my head all the time, so he very much lives on in that way. Connelly's discussion of Suzuki Roshi visiting his teacher Tim reminded me very much of this. and I am sure others here can tell similar stories about past relatives, friends, or teachers. In this way he may be gone, but he's never far away, and I find it very comforting. And all those other dear people I have lost are also near because I carry their precious memories.

I've always struggled with the deep Zen perspective of you can't die because you were never born; it's all transience. At a very high intellectual level I can see the logic, but as a practical issue it's always just seemed like just empty intellectualizing. Then recently I was reading Gary Snyder's Nobody Home (good stuff in this book I need to post to the regular forum some day), and his ecological poetical imagery popped into my head as I was reading this idea of no death/birth again at the end of the chapter. To horribly paraphrase, and probably get it wrong, we are all just passengers on this bus called earth, people get on and people get off, but the wheels on the bus go round and round. In other words, it's not about us; it's about the bus, and the solar system, and the universe, etc. Our egos makes us think we are each a big deal, but we are merely replaceable cells in the body that is earth as it takes its route through the cosmos community.

My ego has wasted enough of your time in my return. Carry on...

Oh wait, Jundo's question had a second part. Has my practice helped me deal with the change and impermanence of life? Yeah, that too :D

[Jundo]

Hi Alan,

My best friend in life died last month from cancer, same age as me. I am sad.

He is gone. Yet, he remains right here there and everywhere, wherever I set my eyes and in my heart too.

There is not a household untouched by death. My first teacher, Azuma Roshi of Sojiji, once was teary eyed when his wife had recently died. I (foolish newby Zen guy that I was) asked him how a Zen teacher can be sad about death.

I believe that it is "all okay to be sad", but also don't forget the "all okay" part in favor of the "sad" alone.

Gassho, J

SatToday

[AlanLa]

Life and death come in many forms, as does our reaction to them. Sometimes maybe we make too many distinctions and get all caught up in our own dukka net, but that's why we practice.

I am sorry for your (and everyone's) loss gassho2

[Talib]

This life lesson I learned early in life. My parents and grandparent were all dead by the time I was twenty. My mother by the time I was 16. ZaZen and Buddhism in general has really made it so much easier to accept. Before I always wondered why. As I have learned that nothing last forever and everyone has a path. Not only the losing of my family but really anything, has become so much easier to deal with. When I hear of a friend who was killed in action or wounded. rather be upset I understand that it is the way of life and nothing can or will change that. To dwell on it does no good and benefits no one.

SatToday