After a long weekend with friends, I left my partner and son “up north” ( our son is attending camp for a week, and my partner is catching up with her friend) and headed back into town for work and an appointment. While driving south on #10 I pulled into a gas station in a quiet little hamlet.. After putting twenty bucks in the tank, I pulled out of the station to the nearby red light as I buckled up. A cop at the corner watching this did “the point” and pulled me in. Then he issued a $240 ticket for “driving without a seat belt on”. I said I just pulled out of the gas station and was buckling up. He said I should have buckled up before pulling out, and that...”this was about safety”....
I decided to track how this was absorbed by this infeebled brain, and so here is a description of my karmic profile over getting an “unfair” ticket...
My verbal response to the officer was that I just saw a guy pass five cars going up a hill, then pull in at the last minute before nailing oncoming traffic, and that he should have been there, if his job is about safety, ....and that this was just about bagging someone on a technically ..and it had no bearing on safety. OK, that was cocky, and not getting off on the right foot with the officer. The encounter ended with the him handing me the ticket and saying “Have a good week ..Sir “ ...and me saying “Have a good week ..Sir”
Then, driving away from the cop there was a righteous-anger-me-cramp that lasted for a few minutes. I knew I could not wish it away.. it was just like that. The righteous me-cramp came back a few times on the drive home...each time cycling through...
Later, when getting ready for bed I looked over at the ticket on the mantle.. and had another righteous cramp...... and felt it cycle through....
This morning while sitting there was no sign of it, just the usual milky stew of “what's going on” flowing by, and the occasion blue sky... all ok.
Then, later this morning when discussing the weekend,and among other things getting at hefty ticket, with a male relative.. he took-on the ticket part and flew into “Fight It!!!” mode.. he always must battle to the bitter end, even if it take years .. “It's the principle”. With this, the righteous me-cramp came back.. but also a clear awareness that I have no interest in pursuing anything. But, still, he juiced the cramp again for a minute.
After that.. no more cramp. And the thought of the ticket while typing this is emotionally neutral.... It's been absorbed and normalized.
My question is.... Would you have been serene and unmoved getting the ticket? Would you have been briefly indignant, then no more? Would there be a residue that takes a little while to cycle through?
What does letting go mean in this context? Should the way this body and mind works be more “Enlightened” ...so I remain unmoved regardless?
Thank you. Gassho
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