gassho all...

I have been away for quite a while, see many new faces, many old ones...

I took the advice of one of those ancient wise Buddhist folks (or maybe it was the Dalai Llama) and tried to stick to the religion I was raised with. Didn't work out too well.

So I have come back to that misty mountain retreat, Treeleaf, to try to find my meditating roots again. And I find myself realizing that turning away from Zen was like going back to McDonalds after a long vegetarian haiatus. One french-fry and you're hooked like a crack addict, again. If you could inject mcnuggets, you would.

Losing sight of my non-self and dropping back into the "world" was so easy, I didn't even know it had happened. I have re-read some of my old posts, and realize I've lost touch with who I was. Of course, as I am just beginning to re-realize, that self is illusory. I'm hoping that a couple of weeks in here with all of you, and on my cushion, will remind me of that on a more visceral level.

I'm very happy to see that a few of our long-term members have stepped up to the altar, and I'm also glad Chet is still here... his posts are some of my favorites.

My zazen is very rough, but the truth about reality, which I once felt so close to seeing, is still there, on the periphery of my monkey-brain. It is still there.

-thanks for being here, everyone
-tobi