catch myself as well, but I am addicted to order. It's odd that I think so because my life kind of looks a mess. I am scattered on many winds and I don't know how to gather myself up. I have so mush desire to achieve-- money, friends, perfection, enlightenment, health, etc. Buddha I am can see this. Amelia I am doesn't want to stop it because of many fears.
There is a great energy to great questions, but what of the question that tires me out: what do I want in this short life? How do I get everyting done that I want to get done?