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Thread: Hey Nony, Nony; anonymous and private practice

  1. #1

    Hey Nony, Nony; anonymous and private practice

    Practicing zazen in my private life is one thing

    Being publically labeled as ‘buddhist’ is something else.

    I like to share aspects of my private life when I want to—there are times when it is an appropriate thing to do.

    I share aspects of my public life, my working life with those I encounter in my non-working life on occasion—when it is relevant.

    I am late to the party when it comes to the intranet. I do no not ‘get’ social network systems and I am not interested in my face or spacebook. The fact I come home from being on phones and a computer all day and even open up my laptop to participate in anything computer related shows what a glutton for punishment I am.
    I would be better off getting in a walk and some fresh air after being all day in an office with no windows.

    At work all around me I see people checking their private e-mail,; at the printers I see printouts of what appear to be a child’s homework assignment essay, mapquest directions, recipes for different dishes, articles on health, etc.
    I can tell you I have never used my computer at work for anything other than work.
    There was a document we were required to sign stating as much.
    I signed it and I abide by it. Easier that way.

    I could justify such behavior if I wanted to, sure. I could say, ‘well, I’m available to take a new call, so while no one is phoning in, I am not not working while I browse these on-line catalogues….whathaveyou….
    But I don’t do that. Because of that paper I signed.
    Recently our new interim director e-mailed us all a reminder of the document signed regarding computer use/intranet access. I can see the writing on the wall.
    They will not be able to fire me for ‘misuse’ of the computer. And when you think about it, it is theft.

    When I use the computer for my private interests it is on my own time with my own computer. (Maybe that’s why I do so little of it when I get home…I’ve done enough gazing at the screen and typing all day already)

    My private life and my public life, my home and family life and my work life . I do share from each with the other, but it is not a wholesale sharing. Yet it is all one life, this little life of mine, this great and grand little ordinary life of mine.

    One group I had wanted to sit with (they were close), but never got to (strange pre-requisites) I later heard had several actors/actresses attending. It then made sense to me why you couldn’t just ‘show up’ like every other zen center I’d sat with. It made sense there was some kind of ‘screening’ process in place I guess to make sure there weren’t any paparazzi or weirdo stalkers.
    I wouldn’t doubt if they had a paper to sign there too, that you wouldn’t talk about members of the zen center outside the center—just like at 12 step meetings…


    I recall one budding actor who made sure never to be in any group shots of photos taken at yet another zen group. For the sake of their private life AND career/public life they didn’t want any such information on the intranet.

    Maybe it’s a ‘hollywood’ kind of issue, or a fame/game kind of situation. But I for one, not interested in fame or games like to remain a blade of grass among all the other blades of grass. I prefer to post anonymously and I’d rather not have my face associated with my words. Not because I don’t want to be held responsible for what I write, but because I want my thoughts/my words to stand alone on their own merit and not be prized or reviled by someone elses’ suppositions about me based on conjectures due to my ‘look’, my gender, my-you-name-it. There is enough of that in daily life.
    Here on the intranet my thoughts can be read without prejudice (we’d like to think we aren’t prejudiced, but, fact is, in two second’s blink of an eye…done! I just want my thoughts to be words on a page, to be read and stand or fall based on their own merit or lack thereof.
    I would prefer all postings be without photos, without my ascribing baseless associations/biases. (maybe that’s just me)…
    I like to think of the intranet as one big mind talking to itself, all these various thoughts arising and passing through consciousness…all these internal dialogues and musings, gathering of facts…remembering, ..inventing.
    I like to think of walking a shoreline—all this ocean of information in front of me, and here on the edge of it, where ocean of information meets my feet, I find this handful, this pocketful of things worth looking at more closely, and I collect in a bag rubbish found to dispose of properly…(spam, spam, spam, spam)

    There is nothing particularly nefarious about wishing to be a private person.
    Young people seem to get a face space and a my book account before they are even born—while their mother’s are still pregnant. Accustomed to notifying everyone (known and unknown) to them about the minutia of their lives, used to sending photos of themselves with/without clothes engaged in all manner of behaviors in all kinds of circumstances and contexts it must seem odd that some of us come from a time before mobile phones and there was only one phone per household, getting your own extension was a way big deal!

    At any rate. I’ve done more posting in the past couple of days than I have in a very long time. I appreciate having these thoughts arise from pondering a subject suggested in another thread.

  2. #2

    Re: Hey Nony, Nony; anonymous and private practice

    Sometimes we sit and live alone, in a cave or our own little room. That is good practice.

    Sometimes we want to sit and share with others, gathering together in rooms. That is good practice.

    Sometimes we may use this internet thing to sit and share with others, gathering together at Treeleaf or Google or Facebook. That is good practice.

    Sometimes we practice outdoors or indoors, in monasteries or in the office, nursery, subway or city streets. That is good practice.

    All good places to practice.

    Gassho, J

    PS - I agree that one needs to take care in sharing personal information on the internet. However, I once has a thief steal my identity by stealing letters and bills out of my postbox! He found out so much about me the old fashioned way. But, yes, the internet requires care. That is one reason that all our members here should take to heart our little confidentiality tips. There are ways to share so much, open our hearts to each other, drop all guards and barriers AND keep safe from prying eyes too ... ALL AT ONCE!

    viewtopic.php?f=9&t=3778

  3. #3

    Re: Hey Nony, Nony; anonymous and private practice

    I hear you on that, only people that know I practice is my friends/roomates who I had to ask for some time to sit every now and then (full house!). I'm generally a wallflower, try to speak only when there is something to really say and keep a low profile. It's just tactful imo to prevent rubbing people the wrong way for whatever reason if you can.

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