All of us have our own personal set of circumstances. I don't know what yours are. It's easy to tell someone to act a certain way. But you have to know where that person is coming from. I don't know Chet. I only know disastermouse. I'm only about 1/10 of the real Greg on Treeleaf. I'm sure the same goes for you. Sometimes I act abrasive on this forum because I need an outlet. Maybe I'm up against somethint in my real life that I can't deal with head on. So I take it out on people I never have to look at face to face. Kinda like kicking the dog because your boss called you a turd. It isn't fair, but it's human. The zafu is so comfortable and dangerous because we don't have to change anything for those minutes that we sit. We can be Jekyll and Hyde [i]and[i] the narrator, all at the same time. It is liberating. We see what a drama our life is. And we see how we create that drama with our thoughts.
So try this.
In an emotianlly charged situation, when you find it difficult to concentrate on giving your best,
pretend you are an actor on a stage. Play the role of someone who is detached and give
your best to your performance.
If someone contradicts you, just sit back and watch; it's all part of the play.
This isn't hypocritical. Anger, resentment, judgement, using rude language,
these are hypocritical.
When we play the role of someone who is detached, who is kind, we are really just learning
to be ourselves.
This may sound ridiculous but it works. Try it for yourself.
gassho (and give yourself a break)