Reflections on a Late Rohatsu

[Taylor]

Hey everyone,

So! It's official! The Rohatsu retreat has been completed! (Even though it's never finished). I realized I'm a week or so behind the actual holiday but hey, final, whatcha gonna do?

So first: The nitty gritty - Confession time

I believe I totaled about 12 hours of sleep for the entire week and a half of finals. So waking up at 5:30 did not happen as I had planned. I also may or may not have been in a fight with my girlfriend upon entering the retreat and may or may not have called for a few brief minutes to let her know that I was (non)thinking of her. But now that thats off my chest :P

This was fantastic. I have always been reticent approaching long bouts of zazen because I wasn't sure if I could mentally handle it. This experience has given me a new found confidence I never knew I had. It has me revved up for my first opportunity to do a long sesshin But more so than that, I found a new depth in the word "Bravery". I won't ramble, but in short we must understand that bravery is not stepping in front of bullets or the ability to "hold it together" when we are truly hurting. Any stubborn fool can do those things. Bravery is the ability to say, "I am not ok, I need help" when we, in fact, do need it. It's the ability to lay yourself bare before life, give it everything, all your power, all your desire to control, hand it over to life, to the ones that you love and cannot open up to and say "Here! Take it! I have given you myself and now all I can ask is that you do the same!"

After that, what else is there to do but sit?

9 Bows
Taylor

P.s. Realization #2: I'm building myself a seiza bench. Silly sciatic nerve being placed all strangely. :P

[Jundo]

Not late at all. Right on time, actually.

Nine Bows, J

[Nenka]

P.s. Realization #2: I'm building myself a seiza bench. Silly sciatic nerve being placed all strangely. :P

Go for it!
I say this as someone whose abnormally high kneecaps like to dislocate at the slightest provocation.
Can't figure out how to "fluff" a seiza bench before sitting though. Usually just sort of straighten out the folded blanket I put under it.

[KellyRok]

Hello all,

Taylor, it sounds like you had a wonderful retreat and we were there with you. You weren't late at all, did you not feel us there with you? :wink:

A seiza bench sounds like a wonderful undertaking. I had to get creative and sit on my physio ball during some of my zazen. You do what you can and improvise when needed.

take care and 9 bows to you,
Kelly/Jinmei

[Myozan Kodo]

Taylor,
Thanks for sharing. I'm only two thirds way through Rohatsu myself! Kids and work mean I have to do it in virtual time. (Now you see why I'm in this sangha!)

So, thanks Taylor for the inspiration. Thanks Jundo for Day one. And Taigu my teacher, deep bows for Day two.

Gassho,
Soen

[Taylor]

Taylor,
Thanks for sharing. I'm only two thirds way through Rohatsu myself! Kids and work mean I have to do it in virtual time. (Now you see why I'm in this sangha!)

So, thanks Taylor for the inspiration. Thanks Jundo for Day one. And Taigu my teacher, deep bows for Day two.

Gassho,
Soen

Deep Bows for your practice, Soen.

Children, Family
The Path shines brightly all around
Placed in a cup, drink.

Taylor