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Thread: Buddha-Basics (Part VI) Speaking Right

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  1. #1

    Buddha-Basics (Part VI) Speaking Right

    We continue our stroll along the Eightfold Path with Right Speech, the first of three branches devoted to ‘Ethical Conduct’ (S?la)…

    The words passing our lips have power to be weapons or constructive tools, to help or hurt others, express care or disdain, make enemies or friends, start wars or bring peace.

    The Buddha advised that we should:

    …abstain from false speech, especially deliberate lies…
    …abstain from slanderous speech and words used maliciously against others…
    …abstain from harsh words that offend or hurt others…
    …abstain from idle gossip.


    This means that we should, as best we can amid the complexities of life, seek to tell the truth, to speak lovingly, warmly and gently, and to be careful in our words.

    Thich Nhat Hanh has sometimes worded it this way:

    Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivate loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am committed to learn to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy, and hope. I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain and not to criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that can cause the family or the community to break. I will make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.
    CLICK HERE for today’s Sit-A-Long video.



    Remember: recording ends soon after the beginning bells; a sitting time of 20 to 35 minutes is recommended.
    Last edited by Jundo; 08-30-2012 at 04:21 AM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Clark's Avatar
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    I am inspired to write to this for two reasons.

    One I am sure Jundo would like to know that someone actually is watching these. Thank you so much for posting these wonderful lessons.

    Second, I wish to humbly offer my observations on correcting children as the father of three. It is of course appropriate to correct children, however Yelling and Screaming at them is not. It is possible that discipline itself be calm quiet and loving. When children are misbehaving then this is a great opportunity for teaching. Why do you want them to do or not do something? Sometimes your children are just being kids and driving you crazy. Maybe YOU are the one who needs time out If you are calm, but often critical and demeaning then this can be just as harmful. Indeed having children is a great vehicle for constant practice!

    What I really want to speak to here is balance. If you are only talking to your kids when you need to correct them, then this isn't balanced. I have found that complimenting them when they are doing something RIGHT is just as important. Acknowledging their good behavior, showing your appreciation for what they are doing well, praising them for being GOOD works wonders!!! And by the way this works even better if you and your significant other provide an example by doing this with each other.
    I had my 8 year old son say to me recently "Dad, thanks for working so hard for us." Wow!

  3. #3
    Thank you both for this teaching. I too am listening to all the talks and am listening deeply.

    I just started practicing Zazen and am mindful that I should not practice with an end in mind. Just sit...
    nevertheless I do hope that over time I will become a better husband, better father, better leader and fellow human being. At times these seem to be conflicting thoughts, yet that is how I feel. Is this wrong?

    eugene

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Eugene View Post
    Thank you both for this teaching. I too am listening to all the talks and am listening deeply.

    I just started practicing Zazen and am mindful that I should not practice with an end in mind. Just sit...
    nevertheless I do hope that over time I will become a better husband, better father, better leader and fellow human being. At times these seem to be conflicting thoughts, yet that is how I feel. Is this wrong?

    eugene
    Hi Eugene,

    No, not wrong at all. I do believe that this practice makes us with time better and gentler people, friends, spouses, moms and dads, citizens of the world.

    It is just that, hand in hand, we also learn to live free of need to be beyond just this.

    How to say? Maybe we "get and make better" even as, simultaneously, we also learn freedom from all need to "get and make better". Both at once, as one. A "cake-no-cake and non-eating it too" Practice!

    Gassho, J
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

  5. #5
    Treeleaf Unsui Shokai's Avatar
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    Thank you _/\_, I too read and listen
    gassho, Shokai, still learning the way and knowing nothing
    仁道 生開 - Jindo Shokai "Open to life in a benevolent way"
    Just another itinerant monk; go somewhere else to listen to someone who really knows.

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    Member Nandi's Avatar
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