I'm going to ask a practice question the only way I know how--an extended and perhaps useless metaphor.
The buzzing of saws and sharp sounding hammers echo through the subdivision. Looking for the construction crew, I wander through the streets and parks, following the sounds. I cannot find the foreman. Sometimes I stumble across a poured foundation, an empty shell with no siding, a house with a moving van sitting in the driveway. Occasionally the noise ceases while the workers take their union mandated break, and I can hear their chatter. Once, long ago, I turned a corner, only to find myself face to face with a shift leader. He kindly explained to me what the master plan vaguely looked like, smiled, and went about his business. I can smell the sawdust, can taste the diesel in the air, still the work continues.
Where else is there to look?
This reminds me of a less-good story, when I moved into my first (and current) house. Working evenings, I came home at about 0100 with a load of boxes from my apartment. I then proceeded to watch campy marionette TV shows from the 60s equipped with a sleeping bag, TV, and no furniture. At some unknown early hour, I was awakened by the super-awesome sounds of ranchera from the painting crew next door. It was the most perfectly annoying feeling.
It's a rare post that causes me to actually laugh. I almost fell out of my chair when I read this.
Originally Posted by TwoDots
Hands in anjali, and many thanks to you
So you've seen one construction site, there are a bunch more!
Originally Posted by AtomicSpud
I'm not totally sure I get the metaphor, but here's my stab. So you've pretty much gotten the whole vibe for the site you're in, right? Seen what there is to see, done what there is to do, gotten your foreman to give you the big thumbs up. Great! Just keep doing that, your house will never be finished even when it's finished.
If you suddenly fall into a pit of wet concrete and cannot seem to escape (my feelings for the past few days) great! Just do that, nothing's permenant anyways, not even concrete :P
If the whole house has to be torn down and started over, just start it over!
As far as I can tell, there is no finished product here. I thought for some reason I was close to finishing, then I had a few rounds of anxiety attacks out of the blue and there went those ideals. I can't ever be done, there are seemingly infinite moments to apply zazen to every day, week, year, lifetime. To "get to the other side" or to completely exhaust our sense of work needing to be done means we're farther away than when we had no idea there was another side! Keep on keepin on, I hope this wasn't terribly convoluted :mrgreen: