Chet asked:
Are you looking for something? What are you looking for? Where could it be?
Zenny response:
There once was a guy named Vimalakirti who asked how to enter the dharma gate of non-duality.
Everybody gave it a shot but when the question got back round to him, Vimalakirti's answer left everyone speechless.
I think the answer to your question is the same as Vimalakirti's.
Honest response:
I don't know
what the fuck I'm looking for. I just have this constant source of dissatisfaction that nothing seems to cure. It's like having a big hole in your life that you can't fill no matter what you throw in. Every accomplishment is followed by "Now what?". Every meal is followed with hunger. Every breath asks for the next.
It sucks because I generally like to figure shit out. I originally hoped Zen would tell me "the secret" but instead it just told me to sit down and stop complaining.
Squatting there in the dark it occasionally occurs to me: Maybe this is just what being alive feels like? Maybe there
is no "cure". Maybe the problem is "me".
Wise ass response:
You said defecating is enlightenment. heh heh. heh heh...
Gassho,
-K2