Well, I wasn't gonna post today but...
I think this is an important point: There is nothing wrong. When will I change? When will I even out? When will it come together? How can I be more centered? How can I get that calmness?
There is nothing wrong. You are you. That's a point. This is tired me after working for so and so hours. This is it. Where it all goes astray is in thinking there's something wrong. Absolutely not. You'll learn that if you haven't already. You'll never be perfect, and that's the great thing. You will just be this. Here. Whatever this is. Forget about the fancy talk, and just get up and keep getting up (or something).
Clarity arises from confusion. Without confusion there is no clarity. Sounds pretty Yoda like. It Just means we can see when we're grouchy and when we're not. A little more then before at least. It also means that clarity is perfectly clarity and confusion is perfectly confusion. Drop confusion and clarity all together and what do you get? Some guy, sitting somewhere, doing some thing.
Is it a flip? Is it sitting within sitting? Is it sitting with bodymind? Is it sitting dropped through bodymind? Is it sitting at all? Is it nothing? and ten thousand on.