Originally Posted by
AlanLa
I have some considerable experience in being rejected. You are going on the assumption that you must be with another, and everyone else is feeding that assumption. They mean well, but reassurance is not very helpful in the practical way you need. The idea that you need to be with someone is natural, as most people are with someone else, so they go with that personal reality. But just because most people share that reality doesn't mean it is true for you right now at this moment.
I argue that it is NOT about you being with another; it is about you being with you. It is about accepting yourself as you are right now: alone. Harsh, but accepting yourself as you are now needs to happen before others can bring you into their life in an intimate way. If you can fully accept yourself, fully and completely embrace who you are and all you are in a personally intimate way, even the not-so-good stuff that you want to change, then that's all you need. By fully accepting yourself the need for another drops away. She may come, she may not. There may be a "red thread," as Jundo says, but there may be not. In any case, it won't matter. To believe in this destiny of another in your future just sets up a waiting type of desire that is just another stumbling block when you have already stumbled too much. Drop it! Dropping this idea of a need for another has been my answer to my history or rejection, so maybe it can work for you too. But it takes lots of time, practice, and patience.
There is no peace to be found in others, only in yourself. But this doesn't mean to further isolate yourself or to stop trying. Keep going out there, keep talking to women, keep being social. Make friends, play well with others. Just do so while giving up on the idea that someone somewhere someday somehow will make it all better for you, because that is a big delusion.
From one sufferer to another, metta to you!