A question was put to me about Jizo by a dear member of this forum: Recently a dear friend of mine lost her unborn child. My wife and I havingbeen through the same a year ago in 2 weeks (found out on my birthday last year) I wanted to offer her some sort of comfort besides my shoulder. I have read a bit on Jizo but would appreciate any input you could share. .
I would like to remind everybody that I have very little knowledge, let alone authority to speak on this subject. To be honest with you, I am often surprised to read posts of people of little experience that are so assertive and full of strong views. In my experience, views dissolve with practice and the young an mighty lions will turn into gentle cats. Not a cat yet but getting gently there. So...I would like to share a few thoughts arising from my experience. For a start you may find reliable information on this link about Jizo and its various forms and roles:

http://www.onmarkproductions.com/html/jizo1.shtml

Now, the loss of a child is a pain beyond words. And religions, Buddhism is no exception, often provide comfort and hope to parents, family and friends. As the child is supposed to be in a difficult place, underworld, limbo...a spiritual being is in charge of rescuing the child. If you come to Japan you will bump into countless statues of Jizos, often in the form of a small children looking like monks erected to help the dead beloved ones.
Not my cup of tea and not my understanding of what Jizo represents. As I understand it, our tradition doesn't necessarily sooth the pain but, instead, it invites us to embrace fully sorrows and tears...So the great thing is to cry, just cry. No pain killer needed, only the full acceptance of our feelings. Yet, at the same time we are invited to clearly see the emptiness of all this, the transient nature of all things and see that there is nothing as death and nobody to die. Both at the same time. Jizo is a beautiful expression of this in my eyes, the frail and small figure of a child and yet he is dressed in a kesa and is a Budddha, present and absent, Jizo represent the real nature of the world as it is, both just the world with its bumps and holes and Buddha nature at the same time.
Of course, I don't believe that dead children are going to a special place, I don't know really and it doesn't matter to know. What matters is how to handle this crisis and understand fully its profound teaching. I don't think using Jizo for your friend would have any significance and be really appropriate as I imagine he or she is not a Buddhist, what is the best way your friend? And if the best help would be not to steal the pain from her or him, let them be there just being by their side in the simplicity of your being and understanding in silence what they are going through because you have been there. In other words, to be a witness, to cultivate compassionate attention, warm presence beyond religious froms and symbolism. Going for a walk, sharing a cup of tea, giving a simple smile, whatever arises form your true heart is what is required. You may also just cry with them. The monk Ryokan used to do that quite a lot. And you may just sit, I remeber the dear words of a GP who happened to be a Zen monk as well teling me that when he had to cope with the death of cancer patients and could not sleep at night, he was jut sitting. Best thing to do was this little nothing. Just sit.
We often think that we have to help and save people and the world, we often want to relieve the countless beings and ourselves. The path of the Boddhisatva is to act, but not like a hero of a legend or an american cartoon or comic book, the Boddhisatva path is to listen, watch, perceive and display in the ten thoudsand simple forms, the oneness of it all. It is not glorious at all. It is a bit like becoming the bell hit, and hit gain by everything, the sound that comes out and permeates everything is due to the utter simplicity, the hollow nature, devoided of any intention of the bell's body. Sorry to be so wordy. Be Jizo. Be you. Be.

love to all


Taigu