After joining Treeleaf the other day, I got down to business and practiced my first sit-along with Jundo. The talk for 1/20 on impermanence really hit home, as I'm suddenly surrounded by people dying or moving close to that point. One of those being my father, who suffers from Alzheimer's Disease. I felt it was very important that Jundo shared the story of his teacher's wife dying, and how he was surprised at the show of his teacher's emotions. Not being attached doesn't mean we don't feel, it means we let go when the time comes.
I've never been good at dealing with death. Being the youngest in a larger family with many older relatives, I experienced death very early, and no one tried to explain what was happening. This caused a confused emptiness in me, and I'm still not quite sure what happens when we die. Are any of us sure?
I really feel practicing Zen Buddhism is important for me right now. The deep reflection I've been doing for about a year has changed me, and practicing Zen has changed me...because everything changes. I see now that not only have I been holding on to those I've lost in the past, but I've also been holding on to those who will be lost in the future. I'm letting go knowing I will feel pain, but instead of dwelling on it, I'll be able to accept it and move on.
Does anyone else have any reflections on this subject they'd like to share?