Tugas Gunadarma Gunadarma Tutorial VB.NET Download OST Anime Soundtrack Anime Opening Anime Ending Anime OST Anime Japan Download Lagu Anime Jepang

Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Mojo gone for mo (long time now).Suggestion/Help appreciated

  1. #1

    Mojo gone for mo (long time now).Suggestion/Help appreciated

    Hi all,

    I don't know, but my "mojo" is gone for the mo and i realised has been for about 5 years now. I would like to ramble on but i found a blog entry from a sangha member that perfectly matched my scenario. I have not taken their permission but I hope to use their post, but hope they forgive me coz i'm looking for answers too, tho effort on my part is what is required. It's not helped that i have not done a sit for at least about 10 days now.

    Lost my job (in finance) due to credit crunch, so slightly frustrated, but actually kinda happy. No really happy.

    Anyway, scene from another that is exactly matching my own:

    After I took my vows in xx/xx/xx, I felt on top of the world. My life had purpose and direction again. As time passed the excitement faded and I was back in my normal rut. How could that be? What changed? I think it comes down to the fact that nothing actually did change. You can make vows all you want, but if you donít live them and you donít practice everyday, then it doesnít really matter. So when I say that nothing changed, itís because something needed to change, but didnít.

    I have never been good about keeping routines. Whatís funny is that I actually enjoy repititious, routine work. It doesnít bother me. I like the familiarity, knowing what is coming next and not worrying about what to do.

    Okay, so I just realized something. I know why I like repitious and routine work.

    I like that kind of work because it doesnít require me to have to expand outside my comfort zone. It doesnít require me to work past my issues and push beyond my fears. I like that kind of work because Iím afraid. I am afraid of failure. I am afraid of success. I am afraid that I will never be good enough. I am afraid that if I do too well at something then I will be required to do more when I already feel overloaded. I am afraid that if I fail, no one will love me.

    I actually believe everything I think.

    I love moments like this, because everything seems so clear. What I hate however is that 5 minutes later Iíve left the moment and fall back into my delusions and habitual patterns. I have these moments of clarity and I feel like I can see the naked truth. I see it and say ďwell of course, it all makes sense nowĒ and the next moment I say ďoh, well thatís too bad, I guess Iíll never change. I just donít know what to do.Ē

    What the hell is my problem?

    Why is it that I can analyze a situation and see the solution, or even have someone hand me the solutionÖbut then I drop the ball and do nothing? I truly baffle myself sometimes, and I know I baffle my wife. She frequently says to me, ďYou know what you have to do to change things, why donít you just stop thinking so much and do it?Ē. Thatís a valid question, right? What is my answer you ask? Well, my asnwer is this, ďI donít knowĒ. The thing is though, that I do know. Deep down, or maybe even not that deep down, I do know. I believe that. I know that all the answers to my questions lie within myself, but why canít I seem to find them? Maybe I have found them, but donít recognize them. Maybe I see the answers, but donít like them so I delude myself into thinking that I donít know so that I can continue my habitual pattern of avoidance.

    .....I go in circles like this over and over and over again, never doing anything different, but expecting different results. Is that not the definition of insanity? (atleast according to Einstein).

    I feel so stuck, yet no one can get me out of the rut by myself.

    Great, now my head hurtsÖbut thanks for listening.
    This part below occurs to me frequently, but all in all the exact situation is the same. I guess it is an unrealistic expectation (borne out by results and experience anyway) that I would realise something and I would not act with the same fears and limitation but yet what occurs is that realisation is not permanent and old distractions and habit patterns continue. It's part of trying to stay with whatever one experiences and be patient in not expecting anything in particular but simply observing. Any suggestions or views are most appreciated.

    I love moments like this, because everything seems so clear. What I hate however is that 5 minutes later Iíve left the moment and fall back into my delusions and habitual patterns. I have these moments of clarity and I feel like I can see the naked truth.
    Primarily I have lost a "mojo" that i had when i was younger and have come to act in distractions (computer games, tv, eating etc....), not tackling my own views - only habitually reacting, beholden to fears that limit doing the tasks to get on with the simple challenges in life. It is funny to look back again and again and see that i needed to do something (basic like sitting, studying, getting ready etc) but yet for some fear (especially in relation to study or work) do not do the simple task.

    Also just to eliminate some scenarios, i'm not at all worried about losing my job bcoz i can find another one or retrain and don't have huge worries about finances. It's a lot bigger and about the whole way I'm operating. But the simplest way i can put is about a combination energy, "mojo", fears and habitual reacting or behavioural patterns and frustration at the inability to make behavioural changes.

    Mettha.

    Aswini.

  2. #2

    Re: Mojo gone for mo (long time now).Suggestion/Help appreciated

    Hi A

    sorry to hear about the loss of your job and your mojo.

    I guess all I can say from my personal experience is - that this will pass. The good mojo, the bad mojo, the indiferent mojo - all things change.

    I haven't learnt to do this, but I suppose it is coming to terms with all states of change and being accepting of such a position of flux. That would be a good place to be ....

    Kindest regards

    Jools

  3. #3

    Re: Mojo gone for mo (long time now).Suggestion/Help appreciated

    You never had mojo
    You just *thought* you did
    (Show me your mojo! Bring your mojo to me!)

    What you have never had you can never lose

    Life is a verb

    buddhism is a philosophy of action

    deepest gassho

  4. #4

    Re: Mojo gone for mo (long time now).Suggestion/Help appreciated

    Hi,

    I just want to 'second' what Keishin and Jools wrote.

    I suppose it is coming to terms with all states of change and being accepting of such a position of flux. That would be a good place to be ....
    You never had mojo
    You just *thought* you did
    (Show me your mojo! Bring your mojo to me!)

    What you have never had you can never lose
    Up down up down. When up go up, when down head straight down. Enjoy the ride!

    If you sit on the sofa eating chips, that is your life ... perfectly what it is. If you are elected Chairman of the Board, that is your life ... perfectly what it is.

    Now, don't get me wrong ... there is nothing wrong with having goals, working hard, building constructive things. In fact, to just sit on the sofa will do nothing but expand our waisteline, and is harmful! So, if anything, to just sit on the sofa one's whole life is "wrong" (not if for a short time, but if all the time!). We MUST have goals, human beings need goals in order to live ... we must daily "chop wood and fetch water" in order to keep a roof over our family's head and food on the table (most Zen teachers of the past, if you think about it, were very goal oriented and self starters. I mean, Bodhidharma and Dogen both had to get off the sofa to go all the way to China, build great monasteries, write great writings and such!). Zen folks make plans for life, gather the needed materials, work hard!

    The one thing,, however, truly unique about our perspective on achievement is just this: We learn that, even as we move forward, there is no place we must get to, no place to go, no place we can get to (in other words, we move forward, and are still, both at the same time - not two). We achieve our goals, all while dropping all goals (on the other channel). Both at once, not two.

    See how that works?

    Otherwise, yes your friend is correct: Our heads are filled with much garbage about who we are, where we must go, what will make us happy/sad in life, what is "success". Clear out your head!

    Where is "success" when you drop all mental ideas of "success" and "failure"?

    There is nothing that Aswini needs to do to become more or less Aswini. Aswini is already, right this moment, perfectly Aswini with nothing in need of change (even as she might have much to change, and a few New Years resolutions to make!)

    It's not helped that i have not done a sit for at least about 10 days now.
    Yes, you must do that. Just sitting is not "just sitting" on the sofa.

    Gassho, J

  5. #5

    Re: Mojo gone for mo (long time now).Suggestion/Help appreciated

    Thanks Jundo (Ven Jundo?).

    Sitting a little bit certainly does help.

    Another chan monk pointed out to me that mojo = ego and i was like - damn it never occurred to me but it seems true. I can't show anyone my mojo, it's gone gone (like the role model paul simon's song (with chevy chase), probly with some bat faced girl). Was it ever here, or even existed. But I have noticed a change in attitude in myself over the years. A little bit cynical, more jaded and self defeating from the outset, which I am coming to terms with and working on letting go of all the knots built up.

    There's a lot points for me to consider from your post Jundo, or just observe, since as Keishin pointed out - buddhism is a philosphy of action. Or a clear outline of how to practice.

    Yes the soto perspective is unique, similar to the other lineages also. Kind of like the saying of a thai street vendor about their wares when you ask what is this shirt and they reply "same same, but different". Anyway,

    We learn that, even as we move forward, there is no place we must get to, no place to go, no place we can get to (in other words, we move forward, and are still, both at the same time - not two). We achieve our goals, all while dropping all goals (on the other channel). Both at once, not two.
    this is a skill i have to learn.

    Where is "success" when you drop all mental ideas of "success" and "failure"?
    Good question, just doing whats is needing to be done without getting all tangled up. I'll need to work on this skill too.

    Mettha/Gassho

  6. #6

    Re: Mojo gone for mo (long time now).Suggestion/Help appreciated

    As long as we continue to look within and study the self, we can only gain more wisdom. It's really about seeing that ego is not there; we are not there. Judging ourselves against others, judging others, putting ourselves in a frame. It's all just an illusion. Some have the tendency to depreciate themselves if they are not doing what they think should be done. But that's it. There is nothing to be done and no one to do it. However, if you don't do the laundry (my habit) it doesn't get done. If you don't do your work, you might get fired (knowing that is enough). No need to stress about it. Study the self. See how there is a craving, a fear, a lust about this and that when you should be paying attention to the consequences of your actions.

    We hear a lot about getting caught up in thought in Zen practice. Well, it happens and we are not aware of it. We learn the ability to come back to this moment and not follow thoughts so much. We are not as convinced by them anymore. It doesn't mean we don't have them. "We are not made of stone." It just means we understand them a bit more. We see a little more clearly and have a little more wisdom.

    I am here doing what I am doing right now. What I do is my choice. What I learn from my choices is the point. I may learn that sitting Zazen balances body and mind. I may learn that I should not talk bout others and judge them. I may learn that anything is possible. I may discover appreciation for countless things. No one can judge you, just as you should not judge others. It is a thin line. Best to learn to stay near the center and do what you need to do or "do what you do dropped off, wisely, clearly etc.)

    You can't stop doing Zen, or put it on hold because it is you and your life. Every time you gain a little more wisdom and clarity about yourself even if your not bowing or sitting Zazen "That's Buddhism and Zen"

    Have a good day

    Will

  7. #7
    Senior Member AlanLa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    East Texas
    Posts
    1,258

    Re: Mojo gone for mo (long time now).Suggestion/Help appreciated

    All you really have is THIS moment. Your mojo is nothing more than THIS moment. When you look at your history and see your mojo is gone, all you are really doing is referring to THIS moment when it appears to be gone. So, all you have to do to get your mojo back is to BE your mojo in THIS moment. Do something good NOW for yourself and/or others and focus on that. Start over from NOW, and then DO another mojo moment in the next NOW, and so on. To do otherwise might feel overwhelming, so just DO NOW and let the rest take care of itself.

  8. #8

    Re: Mojo gone for mo (long time now).Suggestion/Help appreciated

    Quote Originally Posted by Aswini

    Where is "success" when you drop all mental ideas of "success" and "failure"?
    Good question, just doing whats is needing to be done without getting all tangled up. I'll need to work on this skill too.

    Mettha/Gassho
    No. What truly remains when we drop all thought of "success" "failure" "doing" "not doing" "tangled" "untangled" "up" or "down"???? Work with that question.

  9. #9

    Re: Mojo gone for mo (long time now).Suggestion/Help appreciated

    Hi Will and Alan,

    Thanks for the advice and the comments. I probably have not fully absorbed them, but nonetheless "food for the heart" for reflection/observance.

    Aswini wrote:

    Where is "success" when you drop all mental ideas of "success" and "failure"?



    Good question, just doing whats is needing to be done without getting all tangled up. I'll need to work on this skill too.

    Mettha/Gassho



    No. What truly remains when we drop all thought of "success" "failure" "doing" "not doing" "tangled" "untangled" "up" or "down"???? Work with that question.
    Damn, that's a big question. Right now i'll answer i don't know. So i'll keep on asking.

    Thanks heaps once again.

    Mettha/Gassho.

    A

  10. #10

    Re: Mojo gone for mo (long time now).Suggestion/Help appreciated

    Hi Aswini.

    if you don't know the answer don't ask... just don't know.
    somethings are impossible to know as knowledge and understanding... you can only know them without knowing them.

    may you lose what you are looking for and never need it again.

    Gassho, Daniel.

Similar Threads

  1. Help Wanted (and greatly appreciated)!
    By Shohei in forum TREELEAF COMMUNITY: Topics about Zazen, Zen, Buddhism & MORE ZAZEN!
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 09-13-2011, 06:44 PM
  2. SIT-A-LONG with TAIGU: each time , new
    By Taigu in forum TALKS and TEACHINGS by JUNDO & TAIGU
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-22-2010, 10:54 AM
  3. 'Sit-a--Long' Suggestion Box
    By Jundo in forum TREELEAF COMMUNITY: Topics about Zazen, Zen, Buddhism & MORE ZAZEN!
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 01-29-2009, 01:50 AM
  4. Charity (dana) suggestion, Kiva
    By JeffLegg in forum TREELEAF COMMUNITY: Topics about Zazen, Zen, Buddhism & MORE ZAZEN!
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 11-19-2008, 10:57 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •