Something really strange has happened to me lately regarding my last relationship and my BPD. It seems like a dramatic evolution has occurred, and the emptiness, loneliness, and emotional fragility that I've felt for so long is just.....gone.
And I wonder...no amount of zazen could or would have made this happen. I think about what my experience would be if I'd become a celibate monk, and I seriously doubt that I ever would have surmounted this obstacle.
It seems like a very difficult relationship, navigated as consciously as possible with the help of therapy, would have been the only thing that could have helped me surmount this obstacle. I'm sure the zazen (10-20min/day, usually) that I've been stepping up the last month or so has helped, but I really feel like the mirror of the relationship and the consciousness in the face of the pain brought about by the therapy has made the biggest difference. I don't think this sort of progress could ever have been had by just sitting in solitude.
So...are romantic relationships a valid aspect of the Buddhist path? I know the traditional view of relationships has emphasized monasticism - but I seriously wonder if there isn't a very important aspect of relationships (consciously witnessed) that is indispensable on the Buddhist path.