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Thread: Some advice for my children

  1. #1

    Some advice for my children

    Respectfully submitted to the sangha for your consideration.

    Donít cause your own suffering by getting overly involved with what you see, hear, smell, taste, touch, or think.


    Make friends with reliable people, do not be swayed by folks just because they are popular or charismatic.


    The hustle and bustle of big cities might seem attractive, it moves quickly there. Try not to get caught up in it.


    Learn to appreciate the quiet places of the earth. Go out and listen to mother nature from time to time.


    Try to enjoy things, take your time. Be moderate in the things you want, learn to control your desires.


    Pay attention to your body, but donít become infatuated with it. Your body is impermanent and you must maintain it if you want it to work well for you.


    Maintain your mind as well; it is not separate from your body. Do not dwell in unhappy thoughts. Sharpen your mind like a razor, do not allow yourself to get fooled by your identity or another.


    Donít be stuck up, comprehensively understand that you are interconnected with everyone and everything else in the universe.

    Inspired by:
    the Rahula Sutra


    Gassho,
    Jordan

  2. #2

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Hi Jordan,

    I like it, it's great the way it's been put into a modern/relevant context but I wonder how old your children are? I was a primary school teacher and there are still some big concepts never mind words in there that would take a bit of talking through.

    In gassho, Kev

  3. #3

    Re: Some advice for my children

    I wonder how old your children are?
    I wondered the same. I had to leave this morning for class and couldn't reply. I thought about it a bit on the bus.

    I don't know if it's necessarily a good idea to perhaps (for lack of a better word) interfere too much with philosophy and what not with children. I think a good way is through example and perhaps some simpler stuff catered to their development and understanding. Young Kids like to ask "why" I find. They are also in the midst of trying to fit everything together. This is mom, dad, me, school, friends, etc.

    Almost all of the points in your post will have to be thoroughly explained to them.

    learn to control your desires.
    Seems kind of a strange thing to tell kid. Do they even know what desire is? How old are they? More than advice is probably needed here.There are probably different methods and practices that you could do with them.

    If you feel your kids are able to comprehend such things,then I guess no problem. Your call really. Maybe leave the option open for them ie. give them access to it and also to books without necessarily making them read it.

    What is your plan to use this? Are you going to say it to them frequently? Give them a paper or deal with it as it comes up?

    There might be some books on this subject.

    Gassho
    Will

  4. #4

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Hello Jordan and all,

    I love what you've posted. The words ring very true, but I too find the dilemma of how to teach these deeper concepts to my 5 and 7 year old boys.

    I just wanted to offer something: the Fall 2008 issue of Tricycle magazine has a whole section called "Bringing Up Buddhists". It is a compilation of articles from various sources that offer some ideas on how to keep it simple for primary school students: how to teach meditation, loving kindness, etc. It also has a resource center that offers books and websites to help guide us parents in teaching these tough concepts to kids. I think you can also get this information from their website: http://www.tricycle.com

    I hope this helps...

    Gassho,
    Kelly Rok

  5. #5

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Quote Originally Posted by Longdog
    Hi Jordan,

    I like it, it's great the way it's been put into a modern/relevant context but I wonder how old your children are? I was a primary school teacher and there are still some big concepts never mind words in there that would take a bit of talking through.

    In gassho, Kev

    Hi Kev, My oldest was born in December 2002, my youngest in February 2005.

    Gassho,
    Jordan

  6. #6

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Nice stuff Jordan and thanks for the link Kelly.
    Ill share that advice with my child (and Children! soon to be joining us in march ) through my own actions for now and perhaps that will spark the interest to ask some questions. or not

    Gassho, Dirk

  7. #7

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Tell 'em to laugh.

    Lora

  8. #8

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Quote Originally Posted by will
    I don't know if it's necessarily a good idea to perhaps (for lack of a better word) interfere too much with philosophy and what not with children. I think a good way is through example and perhaps some simpler stuff catered to their development and understanding. Young Kids like to ask "why" I find. They are also in the midst of trying to fit everything together. This is mom, dad, me, school, friends, etc.
    Thank you for sharing your opinion. I disagree for various reasons.
    Here is one of many: Dad (me) makes a living by serving in an organization that kills people in a spectacular manner. Not the example I want my girls to follow.
    Another: Children are like sponges. I have witnessed them absorb stuff at a truly amazing rate.

    I could site more but I am sure you get the point.

    Almost all of the points in your post will have to be thoroughly explained to them.
    I think this is OK.

    learn to control your desires.
    Seems kind of a strange thing to tell kid. Do they even know what desire is?
    Yes.

    How old are they?
    Three and five at present.

    More than advice is probably needed here. There are probably different methods and practices that you could do with them.
    Practices are infinite; ZaZen dose not really work for them right now. Story time in the evenings seems to be good though.


    If you feel your kids are able to comprehend such things, then I guess no problem. Your call really. Maybe leave the option open for them ie. give them access to it and also to books without necessarily making them read it.
    This was what my father did for me. It leads to an interesting life, that I would advise others avoid, particularly my children.

    What is your plan to use this?
    This has been incorporated into story time.

    Are you going to say it to them frequently?
    Yes, every evening if possible. I may make a recording of it so they can play it while I am away as well.

    Give them a paper or deal with it as it comes up?
    I think I may one day put it on something permanent and give it to them as a memento if they ever decide to leave home.

    There might be some books on this subject.
    Indeed.


    Gassho
    Will
    Gassho,
    Jordan


  9. #9

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Quote Originally Posted by KellyRok
    Hello Jordan and all,

    I love what you've posted. The words ring very true, but I too find the dilemma of how to teach these deeper concepts to my 5 and 7 year old boys.

    I just wanted to offer something: the Fall 2008 issue of Tricycle magazine has a whole section called "Bringing Up Buddhists". It is a compilation of articles from various sources that offer some ideas on how to keep it simple for primary school students: how to teach meditation, loving kindness, etc. It also has a resource center that offers books and websites to help guide us parents in teaching these tough concepts to kids. I think you can also get this information from their website: http://www.tricycle.com

    I hope this helps...

    Gassho,
    Kelly Rok
    Kelly, Thank you, I will look into it.

    Gassho,
    Jordan

  10. #10

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Quote Originally Posted by krid
    Nice stuff Jordan and thanks for the link Kelly.
    Ill share that advice with my child (and Children! soon to be joining us in march ) through my own actions for now and perhaps that will spark the interest to ask some questions. or not

    Gassho, Dirk

    Dirk, Thank you!

    Gassho,
    Jordan

  11. #11

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Quote Originally Posted by lora
    Tell 'em to laugh.

    Lora
    Lora,
    EXCELLENT :!: :!: :!:

    Thank you!

    Gassho,
    Jordan

  12. #12

    Re: Some advice for my children



    Thank you for sharing your opinion. I disagree for various reasons.
    Here is one of many: Dad (me) makes a living by serving in an organization that kills people in a spectacular manner. Not the example I want my girls to follow.
    Another: Children are like sponges. I have witnessed them absorb stuff at a truly amazing rate.

    This has been incorporated into story time.

    Yes, every evening if possible. I may make a recording of it so they can play it while I am away as well.

    I think I may one day put it on something permanent and give it to them as a memento if they ever decide to leave home.
    I just thought it was a little over their head, but if it is going to be a frequent thing (as I suspected) then it sounds good. I'll read them over again and get back to you

    I also took a course too teach children, and one thing is that young children's attention span can be short in regards to understanding concepts and what not. Hence, don't throw too much information at them at once. Of course, I've never met your children, so that's your call. The bed time reading sounds like a good idea.

    Gassho

    Will

  13. #13

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Quote Originally Posted by will


    I just thought it was a little over their head, but if it is going to be a frequent thing (as I suspected) then it sounds good. I'll read them over again and get back to you

    I also took a course too teach children, and one thing is that young children's attention span can be short in regards to understanding concepts and what not. Hence, don't throw too much information at them at once. Of course, I've never met your children, so that's your call. The bed time reading sounds like a good idea.

    Gassho

    Will
    Will,
    It may be a bit over my head too, but I think the striving is OK.

    If your ever in the area, please stop by and meet the family.

    Gassho,
    Jordan

  14. #14

    Re: Some advice for my children

    It may be a bit over my head too, but I think the striving is OK.
    Indeed

    Kodo Sawaki

    When adults are only adults, children donít grow up. When children cry, youíve got to cry with them. Adults have to be children, children have to be adults. Between buddhas and ordinary people, the buddha-dharma and the social world, satori and illusion, ascending and descending, wisdom and compassion Ė thereís got to be a lively exchange among all of these.
    Gassho

  15. #15

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Hello all,

    Hi Jordan,
    You're words are very true, kids are like sponges. You are the best judge as to what you think they can absorb and what they can't. So, read on...I love story time too, it is a wonderful bonding time where you can have the best conversations. It is the moment in my day I cherish the most. Just curious, what is your job - I believe my husband might share your career? You can send me a PM if you'd prefer.

    Dirk,
    Congratulations on the coming of your second child! May you and your growing family be happy and healthy throughout this wonderful time!

    Will,
    Thank you for the wonderful quote from Kodo Sawaki! I'm going to hold on to this one as a reminder. I think sometimes we all forget what it is like to be a little person in this big world. I can be a kid and play with my boys, but sometimes I forget to cry with them. Thanks again!

    Gassho to all,
    Kelly Rok

  16. #16

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Will,
    Nice Kodo quote!, Thanks.

    Kelly,

    Thanks for your comments.

    I am presently serving my last tour in the Marines. I retire in 1128 days :wink:

    Gassho,
    Jordan

  17. #17

    Re: Some advice for my children

    1128 days eh? Hope they pass quickly and safely for you Jordan.

    In gassho, Kev

  18. #18

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Thanks Kev!


    Gassho,
    Jordan

  19. #19

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Hello Jordan,

    I second what Kev said, I too hope your days pass quickly and safely!

    My husband works for the Federal prison system...unfortunately, his tour doesn't end for another 12-15 years. :lol: I'm trying to turn him to the Zen side of things...he could use it.

    Gassho,
    Kelly

  20. #20

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Quote Originally Posted by Longdog
    1128 days eh? Hope they pass quickly and safely for you Jordan.

    In gassho, Kev
    ^^ A big ditto and and a BOLD on the Safely.

    Gassho, Dirk

  21. #21

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Emma will be three in December. Even at her age, I think she can appreciate much of what is written here, particularly
    Learn to appreciate the quiet places of the earth. Go out and listen to mother nature from time to time.
    When I was quite young, I remember returning from my grandmothers funeral and thinking about where it is that I was before I was born. I recall thinking that I couldn't remember, but it seemed quite comforting.

    This seems as good a place as any to inform you all that a new little one has joined our family, Kaisei was born three sleepless weeks ago.

    And to Jordan, if you have to get redeployed I pray it is to Hawaii.

    To Kelly, here is something to check out http://www.dhammabrothers.com/film.html
    I think Erik mentioned this here months ago

  22. #22
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    Re: Some advice for my children

    Congratulations Louis!!!

    (Great thread by the way)

    Ron

  23. #23

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Quote Originally Posted by louis

    This seems as good a place as any to inform you all that a new little one has joined our family, Kaisei was born three sleepless weeks ago.
    Louis,

    Omedetto Gozaimasu! (or as we say in Sanskrit, Mazeltov)! Congratulations!!!

    I take it that Kaisei is a Japanese name? Which Kanji did you choose?

    Gassho, Jundo

  24. #24

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Quote Originally Posted by louis
    This seems as good a place as any to inform you all that a new little one has joined our family, Kaisei was born three sleepless weeks ago.
    Congratulations to You and your family!! Tickles my belly to hear that news er... in a totally zen way :P

    Deep Gassho
    Dirk

  25. #25

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Hi Louis,

    That's great. I wish you, Kaisei, and the rest of your family all the best.

    Gassho
    Ken

  26. #26

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Luis,
    Thats wonderful,
    Congratulations!

    All concerned, I am not expecting to be deployed anytime soon. Thank you for your well wishes.

    Kelly,
    I have purchased the latest article of tricycle for its article on "Bringing up Buddhists" Thank you for the suggestion.
    Gassho,
    Jordan

  27. #27

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Hello all,

    Congratulations to you and your family Louis! I hope sleep finds it way back to you soon, in the meantime, enjoy each minute with your new bundle. Thank you for the Dhamma Brothers link, I'll be passing this on to my husband. Very interesting...

    Gassho,
    Kelly Rok

  28. #28

    Re: Some advice for my children

    Quote Originally Posted by louis
    This seems as good a place as any to inform you all that a new little one has joined our family, Kaisei was born three sleepless weeks ago.
    Louis,

    Congratulations!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jundo
    (or as we say in Sanskrit, Mazeltov)
    So that's what my grandparents spoke in when they wanted to keep secrets... :P

    --Charles

  29. #29

    Re: Some advice for my children

    thanks everyone.
    Kaisei's name uses the characters for Oar and Live.
    We let his grandparents (Zeyde and bubbie in sanskrit?) pick the characters.

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