Why do I feel like I'm taking over the forum sometimes with my posts. I have to work with this reluctance. I feel that some people might not want to post because they feel that other peoples post might be over the head. Or they might feel that their contribution is futile.
Well, I am one of the avid posters in this place and I can tell you that I am just as full of s**t as the next person. I don't know. Maybe noones full of s**t. Maybe they've got it and I don't. They must have it. I mean they've been doing this Zen thing for so long. Anyway, if anyone does feel like they don't have anything to contribute, don't feel that way. Or maybe your just extremly wise and don't want to bother anyone with your BS. Gassho to you.
For this post I want to make sure I'm on the right track. ("No I" jokes aside please)
I've had quite a bit of experiences, delusions,and misunderstandings in practice. Recently I've experienced two types of things. One is utter boredom and great ordinariness. For example: just seeing everything just as it is. Wow, that's a laptop. Great (sarcasm). It used to be a shiny, black, streamlined piece of technological sweetness. A possesion. Now, it's just a laptop. It has a screen, some keys etc. but that streamlined drool is gone. Those used to be oxygenating Zen like bamboo trees, now there just bamboo trees. So, I don't know. I guess you could say that all the cr*p is kind of gone.
Another is a feeling of openess. A feeling of somewhat joy, and just feeling the hair on my head with my hand. And feeling the skin. Now, I would probably say the feeling is probably just an attachment. Another streamlined experience. Another wow look at that. So I guess what I'm getting at is. Is it that ordinariness that we are shooting for (or not shooting for). Or is it that everything is kind of ordinary, and when we attach say a name or a personal thought towards it, we subjectify it?
I'd appreciate your insight or suggestions.