I've been at Treeleaf for about a month, posting occasionally, but really just trying to observe and take in everything. I hadn't been doing a very good job at sitting although I have done better the last few days. Some guidance from Jundo and carving out time for it has helped a lot, so much so that I'm actually surprised at how I've been able to let things go while sitting. However, it's the rest of the time that I find difficult. It's as if all the thoughts that I let pass through my head go into a waiting room and are there waiting for me about 30 minutes after I'm done sitting.
My best guess is that I'm going into a kind of withdrawl, at least that's the best metaphor I can come up with, because I'm seeing all the ways I used to distract myself from what I feared. A lot of you have talked about what comes up during sitting, but so far it's been not much of anything which I find helpful. But I'm often irritable when not sitting. I can't think I'm the first person to have this happen. Any advice? It's very unsettling; like turning upstream into a current that used to seem gentle when I was going down.
I feel overwhelmed.