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Thread: Join Stephyashanti's Buddalicious Ashram!

  1. #1
    Stephanie
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    Join Stephyashanti's Buddalicious Ashram!

    After many years of not being told I am the most wonderful, enlightened being on this planet, I have finally realized that it is not me who is not enlightened, but my teachers, who are simply too deluded to recognize my superior holiness and wisdom. Though in my humility I do not like accepting the role of teacher, I have decided that I must do so, not for myself, but for all of the sentient beings out there in need of my wisdom. Though I plaster the web with images, videos, and writings, I do not seek attention; though I sell countless items in my online store, I do not seek money. All I really want is your enlightenment, which is available to you right now. And all you have to do to recognize that enlightenment is devote hours of your time listening to me and marvelling at my wisdom, and paying me enough so that I don't have to work.

    Some have asked about my need for regular sabbaticals and special treatments. I need time to heal from the brutalities of this harsh world so that I might remain pure to serve you. Pay no mind to the buff, well-oiled men around me who fan me and feed me grapes; I only have the purest of intentions toward them. Unfortunately, the poor young things seem to be so full of sexual energy that I cannot help in my great compassion but to minister to their still-worldly lusts. Of course, the unenlightened do not understand this and say I am self-serving. To them, I have only pity for their worldly pettiness. They do not realize how much I sacrifice to minister to these poor lost boys, how much of my precious holy energy I must deplete to save them from the pains of sexual frustration. And the hot tub out back, paid for by your dana--that I need to retain my youthful vitality so I might teach you. Don't listen to the nay-sayers, they're just poor, angry, un-enlightened souls afflicted by mental illness, too blind to see the light of my wisdom and graciousness. But, of course, I am too enlightened to be angry at them. Though sometimes, in my weakest moments, I must request a special healing massage from Biff that helps me cleanse out my negative emotions.

    Hurry now and join our precious sangha. We'll even offer you the special introductory offer of $500 a month, plus occasional sexual favors to me so that I might help keep my teaching strong. In return, you'll get four of my precious wisdom teaching texts a month, access to special Stephyashanti webcams, and even a chance to come sit in on one of my very enlightening nude hot tub teachings. Hurry, as this special offer is only valid as long as the FBI don't show up...

  2. #2
    Senior Member rculver's Avatar
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    Re: Join Stephyashanti's Buddalicious Ashram!

    :lol:

  3. #3

    Re: Join Stephyashanti's Buddalicious Ashram!

    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie
    Hurry now and join our precious sangha

    Ah....but do you have a web page and a book contract? :mrgreen:

    No? I'll hold on to my $500 for a while. :lol:

  4. #4

    Re: Join Stephyashanti's Buddalicious Ashram!

    Thanks Stephanie, but I think I'll pass. :wink:

    I'll post this link again:
    http://www.strippingthegurus.com/

    A good read. It can be very informative and bring us down form the clouds, but can also be read somewhat like a tabloid.

    The chapter on Zen:
    http://www.strippingthegurus.com/stgsam ... rs/zen.asp

    Gassho Will

  5. #5
    Stephanie
    Guest

    Re: Join Stephyashanti's Buddalicious Ashram!

    Excellent find, will. Thank you, and gassho.

  6. #6

    Re: Join Stephyashanti's Buddalicious Ashram!

    Jundo actually posted it here quite a while ago.

    Gassho

  7. #7

    Re: Join Stephyashanti's Buddalicious Ashram!

    aha.....so trungpa was reborn as Stephyashanti.


  8. #8

    Re: Join Stephyashanti's Buddalicious Ashram!

    How about a coup d'etat of sorts, while Jundo is away? If he still has $500 after carousing in Nam we can even let him join again to venerate our supreme guru, Hon. :twisted: Stephashanti

  9. #9
    Stephanie
    Guest

    Re: Join Stephyashanti's Buddalicious Ashram!

    Quote Originally Posted by will
    Thanks Stephanie, but I think I'll pass. :wink:

    I'll post this link again:
    http://www.strippingthegurus.com/

    A good read. It can be very informative and bring us down form the clouds, but can also be read somewhat like a tabloid.

    The chapter on Zen:
    http://www.strippingthegurus.com/stgsam ... rs/zen.asp

    Gassho Will
    Having done some of my own research, I've found that the author of "Stripping the Gurus" also happens to be a miserable, petty, racist asshole prone to political opinions as stupid and misinformed as those he excoriates in his book:

    http://www.geoffreyfalk.com/blog/May2008.asp ("Dog's Breakfast" is particularly charming).

    So what should one make of that?

  10. #10

    Re: Join Stephyashanti's Buddalicious Ashram!

    Having done some of my own research, I've found that the author of "Stripping the Gurus" also happens to be a miserable, petty, racist asshole prone to political opinions as stupid and misinformed as those he excoriates in his book:

    http://www.geoffreyfalk.com/blog/May2008.asp ("Dog's Breakfast" is particularly charming).

    So what should one make of that?
    Good to know. I'm checking out the blog now.

    Like I said. It's like a tabloid. I guess we just have to use our common sense when reading it. Doesn't mean that stuff didn't happen, but some of it's really reaching. I think it's good for some to know that not every "enlightened" teacher is infallable. Otherwise they might follow whatever any Tom, Dick, and Harry says. I mean, we all probably have a Guru waiting to be stripped in us.

    I think where this idea of the all knowing enlightened Guru came from, is the way things are marketed in the West. For example, there is a person from Japan over at E-Sangha, and somtimes when she talks about Kodo Sawaki, it sounds like she's talking about her uncle or grandfather. With respect, but you can see it. Same with how Jundo calls Nishijima Roshi "Dad" sometimes and if you've heard Brad talk about him.

    I mean we're human right. It's just so many people think that practice is much more than that. Obtaining some BIG BANG. Really I think it comes down to being human and finding your center in this life, which includes compassion, sadness and enjoyment. Nothing wrong with being sad, just don't be sad all the time, and don't overstay misery's welcome.

    If we're not careful we fall of the wagon, but as long as no one's being hurt, lied to or taken advantage of, then it's all good. Of course we should take responsiblity if someone does. It's all about being resposible for ourselves I think. Like Muro's article. But we have to learn it for ourselves through practice.

    Practice doesn't mean we don't still enjoy the occaisonal treat (actually we enjoy it more because we're actually experiencing it), but we're ok with it if we don't have it. I think.

    I don't want to sound like a lame a*s. So by treat I mean whatever.

    Some of us start out very small with a big ego(or thumb in our mouth), but as we get down to business we become bigger and the ego gets smaller. I think Jundo said something like that.

    G,W

  11. #11

    Re: Join Stephyashanti's Buddalicious Ashram!

    I think as well that we each have our individual choices to make about what we are going to do with this existence. Some choose monk, some choose Parent, some choose president. We're not the same in that respect I think.

    Ok. I shut up now. :|

    G,W

  12. #12

    Re: Join Stephyashanti's Buddalicious Ashram!

    Having done some of my own research, I've found that the author of "Stripping the Gurus" also happens to be a miserable, petty, racist asshole prone to political opinions as stupid and misinformed as those he excoriates in his book:
    Whew :shock: The dog's breakfast seems to be pretty harsh and generalizing. Pretty long. I didn't read all of it. Sounds like he has some sitting to do.

    I can't give too much feedback on the immigrant situation in the article, for I'm not too sure about that. I definitely wouldn't put it like that if I wrote it.

    G,W

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